It didn’t start well. Before I’d even left Ferryhill, I’d wound my window down and was calling someone a d*ckhead. (The arrogant young pr*ck had purposely wandered out into the road and was making a show to his mates of forcing a car to slow down. Shoulda just skittled him and explained to his mates the Darwinian theory of natural selection. Grrrrr.) Yes, it’s fair to say I hadn’t set off in a positive frame of mind, which was lucky, cos….
What of new is there to say? From reading various reports of the Reading game last Satdy, this was more of the same. Of course, we played attractive stuff. Of course, we created the odd chance. Of course we didn’t score, and, of course, we got beat. It’s such a shame football is decided on goals scored, cos if it was about fannying about, we’d have a chance. We are a poor man’s Arsenal, trying to tippy-tappy it on the edge of their box, looking for the perfect goal, losing it on the 6th or 7th pass…and leaving ourselves open to a 3 on 3 break. I wouldn’t care if we lost it trying to play the killer pass, but we’re losing it trying to play the pass before the killer pass.
As ever, things could’ve been different. That renowned goalscoring centre forward Oduor had an early gilt-edged chance, running free with the keeper to beat. You could have written the script before he got his shot off, as, with all the conviction of the Birmingham 6 (does that work? I mean, they were eventually found not guilty…but they were initially convicted…oh nevermind!)…anyway, with all the conviction of Odejayi, Oduor bore down on the keeper (for ‘bore down’, read ‘looked like a rabbit in car headlights’) and sidefooted a tame effort off the far post. We should have gone home there and then, or at least he should.
Further early promise was in a couple of slick moves down the left, but, where once we’d have had Neil Redfearn running in for the Jordan Williams cutback, instead we have players hiding behind defenders. SOMEONE has to make that run in. Teams PRACTICE this sort of thing, they don’t simply leave it to chance and REACT to where the ball goes. They KNOW where the ball is going before it’s pulled back. OK, SOME teams. Not us. I am reminded of Callum Brittain’s interview on Radio Sheffield t’other week where he pretty much said they don’t know what they’re doing when they go forward.
Yes, for 19 minutes it was an exciting game. It was to and fro, as Boro threw up a few attacks too. Then they went and ruined it by scoring. A neat curling cross found Helik and Styles underneath it and their bloke on his own to score a simple header. It looks so easy – so why don’t we do it? (I don’t think we won a header in their box all night.) Weirdly, it killed the atmosphere too. Was the home end responding to us, so when we shut up, they did? Or did they know, that was game over? The rest of the half was damage limitation, as we barely made it into their half thereafter.
Half-time, and a chance for beleaguered boss Schopp to ring the changes, make inspirational speeches, etc (I guess, being Austrian, he doesn’t have quite the same historical benchmarks and war allegories we might use to gee up a dressing room). We came back out. If anything changed, I didn’t see it. As the half ground on, and all we had to show for it was a wasteful 20 yarder into the stand from Cauley, players came and went, subs came on, the desperation was palpable. Big Vic forced a save out of the keeper after beating a player, while a weak effort from Cauley still resulted in the keeper spilling it to Brittain. The keeper blocked that rebound well, before one of our faceless Belgians put the second rebound into the crowd. From about 15 yards. ‘Will we ever score a goal?’ sang the faithful.
As time was running out, so was the fans’ patience. There was an ironic chant of ‘It’s just like watching Brazil’ which I enjoyed. The second goal* was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Calls for the manager’s head had been notably absent till that point, but now the levee had broken. We want Schopp out, we want Schopp out.’ I didn’t join in, myself. I just don’t think I have it (passion) in me anymore. Is it just that I’m not that bothered whether we go down or not? I find myself more p***ed off about the West Stand shenanighans than anything out on the pitch. Also, while the blame ultimately finds its way to Schopp’s door, I don’t buy into the idea that these players are good enough. Individually, and collectively, they look like a relegation team (and I’ve seen plenty). Beyond Collins and Helik, I can’t see anyone else getting into another Championship side. Least, not one that stays up.
* I thought it was offside, but it’s that impenetrable new caveat ‘2nd phase’. What is the point of an offside trap anymore? (Mind, same for both teams...so when are WE going to utilise this rule for our own benefit?)
Onwards and upwards!
*** Collins. Again. Made several saves, came out and punched or headed clear, sound with his feet, couldn’t be blamed for either goal.
** Gomes. Excellent 1st half. Kept possession, turned away from trouble. Interestingly, looked the most abject at full-time, down on his haunches. A loanee, FFS!
* Big Vic. Took the game to them (a bit) when he came on, and, I’m pretty sure, actually controlled a ball.
Londontykes’ MOTM:
Despatches: Boro fans, realising they had a half empty Riverside and zero atmosphere, put forward an idea to the club. Could they have a patch of seating where they could stand and make some noise, without fear of being told to sit down or be chucked out. ‘Of course’ said the club. That area is now the fullest area in the ground, as those wishing to make some noise congregate in the same place. Shame about the drum, but we could learn a thing or 2 there. (Essentially, their main home end has changed, as could happen at Oakwell if we gave over some of the North Stand to those fans who don’t want to sit there dying a slow death.) The Riverside also had a couple of (working) clocks, so I could see EXACTLY how much more of this I have to watch. It’s surprising what a difference knowing how long has gone, whether it be in knowing how long we have to equalise, or how long till we can go home. Mind, their big screen appeared lost in some late 1990s timewarp, where their only players were Ravanelli, Juninho and Emerson, rather than Robbie Mustoe, Mark Proctor and Simon Coleman.
Our team? Woebetide anyone who pinned their hopes on the Belgians. Cut your losses now. I notice Oulare is #58. Is that cos he’s twice the player Big Vic (#29) is? Or did the club shop only have numbers ‘5’ and ‘8’ available? Either way, I presume he’s the best #58 in our history.
Home grown/home bought players like Styles, Brittain, Moon….decent prospects, but on current form, they’d be out of the team, which says everything for the replacements. (I’ll second guess Loko by saying I KNOW Mads/Kitching/Benson/Morris are injured). Today’s rested beast was Romal Palmer, an attacking midfielder with how many goals and assists to his name this season? Honestly, this team, this squad, has relegation written all over it. And apathy is spreading. One Londontyke has already announced he’d rather sit at home and watch the Blunts game this weekend, rather than drive up. And I have to admit, I had a cheeky look at alternative Boxing Day fixtures this week. Do I really want to drive 2 hours to Barnsley when I could be watching the big derby – Spenny v Darlo? Of course, it might be mused that said Londontyke is subconsciously channelling the likely feeling of Sunday’s game, envisaging 4000 Blunts crowing at our expense. Well, it was a concern I heard voiced in the bogs at full-time (and one I’d already contemplated from my Riverside seat).
Anyway, Markus, I’m sorry things haven’t worked out. You took the well-trodden continental gamble of Stendel, that bald bloke who’s name I forget (Struber! Got there in the end!), and Big Val, but sadly, for you, and us, it hasn’t worked out. If we don’t see each other again, best of luck. You tried getting this bunch to play football, but, alas, they’re not capable. I think they had it bred out of them by the last bloke.
ps, you have to chortle at the music choice of the Boro DJ at full-time. ‘Livin’ on a prayer’. Could our chances have been better summed up?
Drink du jour: None.
Away: c.400.
The Damage:
£30 ent
£3 programme
= £33
The Tunes:
None.
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