In the month when Newcastle United were taken over by Saudi Arabia, it was nice to visit the Geordie capital to see a successful side who play in the famous black and white stripes – Heaton Stannington, Northern League second division league leaders. However, I could’ve picked a better Saturday, as the Mags were also kicking off at 3 against Chelsea. Traffic was slow on the A1…and (shock, horror) parking was a nightmare in the city centre. I eventually found a back street where parking was free between 11:30-15:30; perfect for a trot into the city, before driving out towards Heaton, about 4 miles out. You could feel the buzz in the city too, as hundreds marched towards St. James’s from the railway station, including a fair amount of Chelski.
Traffic was difficult to Heaton too, and I was lucky to waltz into the ground a minute before kick-off. Walking through the main entrance, I was surprised to see one and a half sides of the ground being car park, with a big green box in the corner acting as both changing room and refreshment kiosk. ‘Stan’ enjoy the biggest crowds in the second division, regularly playing in front of over 200. Same again today, for a tasty looking clash against Newcastle University, who’re quite possibly the best side I’ve seen in this division this season. Can it be described as a ‘derby’? I dunno. Yes, the students might attend an establishment in the city, but they play their games 10 miles away in Prudhoe. Not that I noticed any ‘away’ fans.
Opposite the car park end is a grassy area and the back fences of some 1930s semis. Same along one touchline, where a couple of householders look like they’ve cheekily added extra garden plots inside Stan’s ground. This touchline appeared to be where most of the canines hung out. I counted 8. Is this a record? (I saw another couple on the Main Stand side later.) This touchline also had a slightly raised bank, offering a better view of…not much. The 1st half was as bad as last night at Tow Law. Was it all the Autumn leaves covering the pitch? Or 2 teams giving each other too much respect?
Half-time, I walked around the pitch, past a tiny main stand and into the clubhouse, which had the look of a proper pub inside. Given the chill in the air and the poor nature of the football, it would have been easy to stay in here and watch England cruise to victory in the 20/20 against Australia. But I was here for the football. I took my pint outside. Shoulda got a half, cos that’s all I drank. I do like an IPA, but not a Volt IPA. Second time in a month I’ve not been able to finish the one pint I allow myself to have (when driving). What should be a treat….
Next to the Main Stand and outside the clubhouse is a 3 step terrace with propped roof. ‘Excuse me, there’s only one Barnsley fan allowed in here.’ A fellow Reds fans had spotted my Barnsley hat and it was nice to chat rubbish as the game went on. ‘Worst we’ve played all season’ said the Heaton adoptee. Yes, it was poor fayre. The students went one up with a back post header from a corner. Stan looked devoid of ideas before a sweet one touch move which had hithertofore remained hidden, brought them level, the pullback hit high into the net. Stan then created a couple of chances, but overall, a fair result. The students looked the better side but lacked the creativity in the final third. Still, I’d be out of here faster than the average fan at St. James’s. Hopefully I’ll be back on that there A1 before the Geordie hordes!
The Damage:
£5 ent
£3 Volt IPA
= £8
Programme: I know they existed, I saw them. But I never saw any on sale. Oh well.
The Tunes:
BBC 5Live (Nadine Shah)
BBC 6Music (Gilles Peterson)
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