It is the day after my dad leaves us for somewhere better and what a fitting tribute from the Super Reds, conceding an injury time equaliser to a struggling Stoke side. It’s what he would have wanted. Mind, that slightly disguises the fact injury time was 10 minutes and we were only 5 minutes in. Yet another ‘medical emergency’ in the crowd means the match has to stop halfway through the second half. WHY!!?? So people can have a good nose instead of watching play? The match going on doesn’t stop stewards and first aiders from doing their jobs, especially in the half empty (half!? We should be so lucky!) stands at Oakwell. Don’t get former St. John’s ambulance member Wadd started on this either, he’s more ranty than me!
On an attached note, let me give you a real life conundrum. Sarah’s granddad died at a football match, West Brom, heart attack. So, does her dad a) support West Brom out of loyalty to his dad b) support anybody BUT West Brom, cos it’s where his dad died (junior was 5 years old) or c) support whichever half decent team is near to where he lives? Of course, the real life Mr Turner supported Norwich (not too far from Newmarket, but by no means the nearest league team). What a time too, as the Canaries beat the likes of Bayern Munich. Fast forward 30 years and he’s moved to Lichfield, in the Burton / Derby / Brum triangle. Stick with Naarwich? Follow local side Burton? Or take on Villa cos….well, they have a bit of potential about them (and there’s a direct train to Villa Park from Lichfield). Of course it’s the latter. Nearby West Brom weren’t even considered. (He narrowed it down to Derby or Villa when they were both in the Championship. That was a lucky escape for him.)
Sorry, the Super Reds. As Farnham said, Stoke came on 3 defeats and no win in 6. Midtable, going nowhere, problies too far off the play-offs too. Absolutely ideal opposition. They’ll turn up, have no fight, and we’ll turn them over with ease. So there was only one team in it first half – Stoke. They hit the post, had a free header just wide, and a deflected shot which so wrong-footed Collins he’d have had no chance it it’d gone the other side of the post. We offered….Callum Brittain. The only Reds player to have a shot on target (a near post effort which the keeper did well to turn and get down to) and a peach of a low cross which the keeper smothered under Styles’ attention. But at least the latter ran TOWARDS the ball and PAST defenders. Nobody else up front does. For the most part, I thought Iseka had morphed into Morris. Why do we persist in hiding BEHIND defenders when crosses are about to be put in? These aren’t Sunday league defenders. They will miss the ball completely perhaps once a season*.
*unless you’re Jasper Moon. I can think of twice he’s done it in the last month. But then again, he’s not a Championship defender.
Still, half-time and we’re still in it, despite (because of!?) coach Asbaghi’s formation. Wolfe’s been dropped, we’ve gone 3 at the back (cos that’s worked all season!) and now left back Vita is playing the ‘Clarke Oduor role’ scooting about the right wing with negligible effect. I’m sure these managers think they’re geniuses, thinking of new and crazy ways to baffle the opposition fans into submission. Something strange was certainly happening, as left sided centre half Kitching appeared most prominent in attack down the left wing. Still, my favourite Reds moment came when Morris broke down the left and hooked in a cross….to the 5ft 4 Vita, marked by 2 giant centre halves and a goalkeeper.
Then we scored. Quina holds onto the ball 9 seconds, dribbles all the way along the box, before turning and doubling back, and unleashing a worldy into the top corner with his left foot. It’s QPR all over again, though rather than screaming ‘pass it’ at him, this time it was ‘PART WITH THE BALL!’ Mind, if you’d seen the rest of his performance, you’d realise why he’d given up trying to pass it. Did he lose the ball EVERY other time he had it, or just most times? He was shocking all night. Needless to say he was the official man of the match.
Then we drove forward, looking for a second, to kill the game off. Or, more accurately, we sat back and invited Stoke on, our one decent break ending with us going backwards to ensure Stoke got all their men behind the ball, before we carelessly passed it out of play. Asbaghi was in on the act too. Let’s chuck Wolfe on to shore up midfield. Or stand around with our centre halves. Let’s put Cole on to grab a goal on the break. Ah, Cole. Legend. Does any other team apart from Barnsley bring back a player who was so poor the first time that we had to give him a second chance to prove his inability? I can understand getting former ‘greats’ back…even though it usually ends in tears…but Devante Cole? Anyway, there we are, 5 minutes into injury time and I am still not sure whatthehell he was trying to do. Control it? Turn his man? He is on the edge of our f***ing box and he appears to stand on the ball with the effect he stops it dead for a Stokie to step up and welly it into the corner. Great finish, great move (!). Perhaps Cole could do this next time on the edge of THEIR box. (Note: we still need a player capable of the finish. Quina, anyone?)
One-all. I see we’re now 5 points behind Reading. It’s the hope what kills you. Win this…beat Reading at home and WE’RE ABOVE THEM (let’s ignore the other games). We didn’t. We aren’t. We won’t be. We’re going down.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Helik. Had Josh Maja in his pocket.
**Kitching. Decent defending…and our main attacking threat 2nd half
* Collins. Saved a couple of certain goals by tipping out crosses….though well done covering players for sweeping up the mess.
Official MOTM: Quina. Scored a wondergoal yet was bloody awful all night.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Helik 2. Quina 3. Collins
Despatches:
The Stoke fans obviously enjoyed the game. We scored…’you’re nothing special, we lose every week’…and a full on punch up broke out between a couple of hefty lads in the away end. Now THAT would be a reason to stop the game. Proper windmilling too, before fans and stewards dragged the pair apart. Booooo, you’re no fun.
I thought Brittain was a tad hard done to with some comments. True, he couldn’t stop a cross all game, but they usually had an overlap (as opposed to a ‘Delap’, he’s retired now). The centre halves and keeper dealt with it all though. Gomes swept up well at times, though I still preferred the formation with Wolfe in the team. Or ‘the winning formation’ as it’s called. Shirley made some clever runs and keeps the opposition defenders on their toes in a way Cole doesn’t. Morris held the ball up and without his physical presence we’d be nothing. Styles looked keen, but it either comes off or it doesn’t, and it didn’t. Quina was dreadful. He really was. Maybe coming to Oakwell is like being on the school team. He knows he’s the best player, so why pass a ball to someone who won’t know what to do with it, when he can take on 6 players (and the rest!) and rasp one into the top corner? He’s never gonna part with the ball now…
To end with a positive….I haven’t seen Benson or Palmer in weeks (months!?) and my blood pressure is coming down commensurately. I do miss being angry the entire 90 minutes though.
Oh, and although I tried, I couldn’t walk through the Alhambra (locked – I tried), or have my mates leave me behind in the pub, so no wonder we didn’t win. Just saying.
Drink du jour: Beavertown Neck Oil in the (new) Market Kitchen, the swanky dining area above the market.
Away: 1,151. 21 seconds in and ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home.’ We have a new seasonal leader! (***Stoke fans: if you ask the man at the turnstile nicely, he’ll find a steward to let you out. Tell them it is your civil right not to be held inside Oakwell against your will and you would like to return whence you came.)
Number of league games since the Super Reds went on to win a game having conceded an equaliser: 46. (Bournemouth away, last season, by my reckoning) A season’s worth.
The Damage:
c. £35 petrol
£3 programme
= c. £38
The Tunes:
BBC 6Music (background, whilst chuntering on.)
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