Same old, same old. Tonite was our season in microcosm. Played great going forwards, totally in control, scored goals...and conceded with ease. The search for a goalless draw goes on. When WAS our last one? Cos we ain’t got one this season. This evening it takes us two minutes to concede. Cleary loses it outside of our box, Shepherd is waltzed around (I’m tired of using this adjective when describing a player taking on Pontefract Collieries star export), the keeper palms it pathetically and a player comes from behind O’Keeffe to score. So, it’s only 4 players fault that goal (at least). A proper team effort, one might say.
We then amble around for 15-20 minutes, getting nowhere and the nite looking increasingly long. The atmosphere, or lack thereof, doesn’t help. We’re being taunted by 3 men and their dog in the away end and it’s all so...meh. O’Keeffe has a couple of goes at corners, one chipped to the keeper, one clearing everyone to the back post. The GOAT (replacing Connell in centre mid) hits the same 30 yard pass straight to their player, inconveniently stood inbetween the ball and the player Bland is apparently trying to find. Kelly has had a 20 yard bobbler reach the keeper. It’s not looking good, though Banks has been excellent on the right wing.
We get a free kick, left of the area. Another chance for O’Keeffe to return possession? No! Banks swings it waist-high to the front post where McG continues his fine streak in front of goal by diverting it midair past the keeper. The kind of goal that looked as if it has actually been PRACTICED. Imagine. From then to half-time we run the game. Yoganathan wins the ball on the halfway line and is somehow clean through, and even with his (lack of) pace, he jogs 40 yards and has a free shot. I blame McGoldrick, daring to run alongside Yoga for the tap-in wot never came. Vimal, completely bewildered at having a choice of one-on-one or square it, drags it wide. Poor.
Half-time sees our crew having shrunk to me, Reedy and Mrs Reedy. Where is everybody? Nozzer has cried off, despite me telling him his ST means he’s contractually obliged. Rumours abound of him sat on a nice, warm couch sipping whiskey watching the same s*** I am, but warmer. I should’ve gone round his.
No subs at half-time. There’s no-one to bring on. Leo Farrell is apparently our reserve centre forward option, post-DKD (and McGoldrick forced to slog himself into the ground during what he thought would be his years of dotage). Good job we sacked off Jalo to Oldham on loan, eh Conor?
But we DO have a supersub. Farnham called it at half-time, get Phillips on for Yoga. Or ‘Yonga’ as he calls him. He’s right an’ all. Phillips comes on and scores with his 1st touch, another midair tap-in from a cross (dunno who). 2-1. Here we go!
Except we didn’t. We looked comfortable, were the better team...but it means nowt with this defence. Was it a bird? Was it a place? Was it a corner? I think it was a corner. Or a cross after a corner. The ball is in the air 10 minutes, and our latest crap loan keeper does the same as the rest of us, watches it come down, and a couple of headers later it’s in our net. Why do we even play with a keeper? They’re allowed to use their hands aren’t they? And what’s the point of being 9 feet tall as a keeper if you’re not going to use these things to your ADVANTAGE? Can we sack this one off now. Especially as we’ve given up this season. Save a wage, and stick someone cheap and OURS in t’net. Like last season. Flavell.
There’s still 20 minutes left, but we’ve shot our load. McG hasn’t the legs to beat a player, Banks is dead on his feet and Phillips has disappeared. We are where we are. A below average 3td division team at least playing vaguely entertaining football but going nowhere fast due to defensive frailties. (Frailties!? Must be several rungs below ‘frailties’. Disabilities? Or is that ‘ableist’? Inertia? I dunno. Find me a word for our defence that doesn’t rhyme with rap or clit.)
Onwards and upwards!
*** O’Keeffe. Great link-up play with Banks, and continued high energy throughout.
** Kelly. Some excellent runs and usually finds his man too.
* Banks. Great 1st half, terrible 2nd.
Official MOTM: McGoldrick
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Kelly 2. McGoldrick 3. Banks
Despatches:
Goodman. Did he make a save? I’ll rephrase that. Did he make a save a one armed blind toddler wouldn’t have managed? Watson. Right back at left back, again. Solid. Later replaced by a left back at left back (Ogbeta). It’ll never catch on. Shepherd headed a couple clear, if by ‘clear’ you mean to the edge of our box, ripe for a volley, though by far his best moment was in trying to dribble round an opposition player on the edge of our box. (He failed.) I was impressed by O’Connell. It helps that he doesn’t look like he’s sh*tting himself when in possession. Very cool, though took it backwards too often in the 2nd half. Bland improved in the 2nd half, while Yonga didn’t. McG ran himself into the ground and scored. Who’ve I missed? Who was so anonymous, I can’t even remember him being out there on the pitch? Who cares? GOT IT! Cleary. Blimey, I nearly forgot our star man. As is the way with wingers, some nites it’s not your nite. The Cobblers had him in their back pocket second half, though he could do with not listening to his own hype and crossing rather than shooting sometimes.
Anyway, I still wonder if we’d have beaten Northampton way back when, instead of running scared cos a couple of Welsh under 19s couldn’t make it. Cos you know who we DID have then? DKD. Thanks BFC, thanks.
Right, I'm off for another gluhwein. Who wants one?
Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramahs.
Away: 247 (8,806). You know it’s bad when the opposition (4 defeats in 4) chant ‘we’ve scored a goal, we’ve scored a goal...’
The Damage:
c.£7 petrol
= c.£7
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