BFC 1-1 Peterborough United, Monday 21st April 2025

‘I wish the commentators would stop saying Barnsley ‘bursting forward’ as we amble slowly into the opposition half.’

It took A. Reed to sum it up best with the above quote from Lanzarote (why ruin your hols watching THIS?) If we attacked with any less gusto we’d be going backwards. But it’s ok, cos Jonesy’s seen some improvement. Arguably so. Humphreys has started looking like an attacker. Jalo has been given a run. So the draws and defeats aren’t quite as boring as they were earlier in the season, but the results are the same. That’s 1 win in 7 for Coach Conor, including home games against such luminaries as Cambridge, Exeter and Posh.

I’m more concerned at the other end. There’s holes all over the place in defence, especially if (when) we lose it in midfield. The midfield? What are they FOR? Tippy-tappying it in triangles, or rectangles, before playing a safe ball back to a defender. It’s no-risk football, which somehow we mess up and find ourselves in a 3 on 3 pickle. Again, and again, and again. It’s a good job this is a friendly and Posh are equally unarsed (is that a word? It is now!)

It didn’t help that I felt like a dog. A very sick dog. Coming up from London, I toyed with the idea of just going home. Perhaps if Sarah hadn’t suggested I give the game a miss, I’d have given the game a miss. ‘But I’ve paid for it.’ Besides, I might miss something. (Not a thought I had, half an hour in, as I stared through the gloom at Reds 0, Posh 1.) And you know what? I DID see something (positive) I’d have missed if I’d took the easy option. Russell’s equaliser, in first half injury time, is a thing of beauty. DKD rolls it backwards with his studs and Russell knows what he’s about to do 5 minutes before he does it, and directs a sumptuous curler into the far top corner from the apex of the penalty area.

Earlier, we’d gone one down to a quick break. Once again our defence seemed overran. Where IS everybody? Why’s there more of them than us? Still, it’s a smart finish from their guy, low into the far corner. Previously, Phillips had had a daisy cutter of his own tipped onto the post. There’s the difference right there. Goalkeepers. Some save them, ours don’t.

Ah, goalkeepers. Coach Conor has rung the changes today. Gauci is in for Falafel. An on-loan player in for a permanent player coming to the end of his contract. I can but deduce that we’re after Gauci and Falafel is on his way (though we could keep him on for about 100 quid/week, I suspect). MdG is back (woo hoo!) and McCarthy has been disappeared. Humphreys is out too, not even on the bench, but given recent performances, surely that’s an injury. And with a wealth of right back talent to call upon, he gives Lambrusco a trot out. Oh, and Cotter gets a start, albeit at left wing back. Cos that’s where you play right backs if you’re Barnsley FC.

We do create the odd chance. I think DKD cleared the bar with a couple of efforts caught on the bounce. But when our best dribbler is a 6 foot 4 midfielder of no pace whatsoever, you’re not going far. (Well, you might go far, but it’ll take you a while to get there.) I spent most of the second half wondering how much injury time there’d be, given that I was going bang on the 90 to get the train. (Spending another hour in the Barnsley drizzle would’ve broken me.) So, naturally, it was about the longest of the season, 10 minutes. Injuries to Jalo (who will rid me of this turbulent injury prone prodigy?) and, bizarrely, the linesman, meant I missed a good portion of the match, yet missed nowt. How does that work?

Hang on in there, the season will soon be done...

Onwards and upwards!

*** Russell. A couple of dribbles and a wonder finish.
** DKD. Below par, but, like Obi Wan Kenobi, ‘you are my only hope’.
* Phillips. Looked promising in fits and starts, a couple of shots.

Official MOTM: No idea. I heard it (I think) but I’ve no idea. Did I tell you I was sick? (It was Russell.)

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Russell 2. Earl 3= DKD / Roberts

Despatches:
I bumped into Darrell (BARNSLEY’S LOUDEST MAN) at half-time. ‘Connell is the gashest f***ing player I’ve seen in my whole f***ing life.’ It was great to hear such a sweary rant. Not simply cos I agreed with every word he said, but cos he evoked the ghost of Gerry, R.I.P. (‘Robin Ba*tard Van Der F**ing Lard’). One advantage of death is that you don’t have to watch this rubbish any longer. But what if you’re a believer? It must be the very definition of purgatory to be forced to look down and watch Barnsley FC forever.

Back to Connell, though. He took out their player 1st half so cynically he could write for Private Eye. Then the ref gives him a minute before deciding it’s a yellow. (Win-win, either way.) Jalo? The new Benson. Or the old Benson. I can’t remember who started this ‘let’s be forever injured and pick up our pay cheque’ thing 1st. Given their injury woes, I can’t decide if our physios should have their pay DOUBLED (so much work!) or HALVED (whatever they’re doing, it’s not working.) Carried off on a stretcher yesterday after an innocuous challenge...which the ref deemed as a foul BY Jalo. (I’ll leave that one for Jonesy, I’m under qualified to speak on officiating matters.)

Only two games to go...

Xg: 0.64 v 0.7. A classic.

Drink du jour: A flat white in Coffee Boy, feeling very, very sorry for myself.

Away: 653 (11,049). I clocked it at 2 minutes 37 seconds for the 1st round of ‘your support is f***ing s***.’ It is, mind. And for ’11,049’ try ‘7,049’, if that.

The Damage:
£9.50 train
= £9.50

...nearly there...