We are officially the worst team to ever hold a three goal lead in a football match. We were dreadful and Boro were worse. Apart from a couple of minutes towards half time, it was dismal. We couldn’t complete a pass and who knows what would’ve happened had Boro opened the score early on when our ‘offside trap’ once again went shockingly wrong. Indeed, their bloke looked so amazed that he was given onside that he had time to turn around, look at the linesman, look at our defenders (nearest one: 10 yards away) turn around and blaze the ball over the bar. To Butland’s credit, he hared out of goal, possibly putting the player off.
However, I think we’ve just used a season’s worth of luck in one game. A player too unfit to complete half an hour is allowed to waltz past half the Boro team for #1, O’Brien has a long range effort deflected off O’Grady for #2 and our 3rd comes when Pedersen, in slow motion, makes sure he gets hit for a pen (international class). At least this allows a lacklustre Butterfield to be regaled wiith ‘Jacob, Jacob what’s the score?’, probably the first time this has been sung since Old Testament times. Boro responded with ‘You’re getting sacked in the morning’. You can’t expect to stay in a job if you’re getting tanked off Barnsley. That goes for any team.
So, 3-0 at half time. Unbelievable, Jeff. People were laughing under the stands (well, they were in the East upper), the situation was beyond hilarious. Could we f*** it up? Well, I’ll give it to the Super Reds, they tried. Out they came, 2nd half, a team full of Mellises (Mellisi? What’s the plural of a Mellis?), simply strolling through proceedings, not being at all bothered about the time and space afforded them as Boro pushed half their team up front. This was neatly summed up in a half ar5ed attempted chip from a clean through Pedersen, the ball scuffed gently along the floor to a retreating keeper. Then the actual Mellis was taken off, so we only had 10 of them and Polish Tom had his usual thrusting cameo (why does he never start a game?).
But of course, when we fail to put a team to the sword, we’ll always give them an opportunity to hit back. Boro missed a great opportunity with 12 mins left. I can’t remember the miss, I just remember thinking ‘that’s it. Their chance has gone. They’ll not get back into it now.’ I can’t believe I allowed my inate scepticism to waver for a moment. It took 4 mins for it to return. O’Brien was skinned for the 4th time in 15 minutes at right back (2 questions: 1. Why was nobody covering him after the 1st time he was skinned? 2. How did O’Brien end up at right back for the last 20 minutes, while Wiseman was still on the pitch? Where had HE gone?) Anyway…yes, O’Brien was skinned, the ball was pulled back, and Adomah hit a crisp finish which looped in off a defender and over a despairing Butland. The hunt for a clean sheet goes on. 2 mins later and it really is squeaky bum time, as a hopeful ball into the box is missed by everyone and Adomah bags another. I really don’t understand how the ball got to him, it never seemed to go above head height and one, if not two, of our players simply allowed it to pass them.
This woke the fans (and players) up though. All of a sudden, there was a game on. You could see the players putting in a shift, desperate not to give Boro anything. Why does it need them to score for us to do this? Including injury time, it was 10 mins of hanging on, though Boro only had one chance in that time, when the ref allowed a blatant push to go unpunished (to be fair, he’d given us everything else: see earlier comment re: luck) and that player’s knockdown was put wide from 6 yards. Phew.
*** O’Grady. Held the ball up, time and again he put himself between their player and the ball and used his strength well. Notched two, though neither were goal of the season contenders – a penalty and a ball that hit him. Sponsors MOTM.
** M’Voto. Won everything in the air against million pound man Jukowicz (sp?). And he had to win a lot, as Boro launched it almost as much as Washday do, 1st half.
* Crainie. Along with M’Voto, shut the door on the Boro attack.
Away: 2200.
Despatches:
Butland was again magnificent, yet proof magnificent is never enough in our goal was in conceding another 2. I thought Kennedy was decent, till the last 15 when Boro hit on this amazing idea of giving their terrific wingers the ball – after that, they tore us to pieces on both flanks. O’Brien did well, till he found himself at right back. The rest were a bit crap, actually.
Does absence make the heart grow fonder? I was ambling towards t’Well wondering this. As it’s 20 odd years since I lived in the north-east, can I really carry on despising a team (Boro) whose fans I never see anymore? Well, on encountering a few of the Smoggies (Smog Monsters) near the ground, I can quite categorically say ‘YES’. Ever masters of supreme irony, their drunken strains of ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ sounds even worse when they’ve yet to even get in the stadium. Listen lads, if you wanna leave, the train station’s BEHIND you. And do you really intend to sing ‘MiddlesBORE, MiddlesBORE’. Too bl**dy true. Still, we had the joys of a Boro fan in our midst on the train. Number of mentions of not seeing ‘Kes’ in Barnsley: four. Number of allusions to raping women: three
Drink du jour: JD and DC (Diet coke). 2 litres of JD between 5 (and Gerry) = very drunk. So naturally me, Andy and Slacki went to Caminos once we got back, where I vaguely remember drinking something pink. Maybe the other 2 can confirm? I also cannot remember leaving Camino’s, or where I caught the bus from, but I do remember missing my stop. Again.
So, here it is, we’ve now won 2 games – and coincidentally against teams with former ‘star’ players…Hamill and Butterfield. Are there any other ex-players in this league? It might be our best chance of winning a 3rd game this season.
Come on you Reds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, 3-0 at half time. Unbelievable, Jeff. People were laughing under the stands (well, they were in the East upper), the situation was beyond hilarious. Could we f*** it up? Well, I’ll give it to the Super Reds, they tried. Out they came, 2nd half, a team full of Mellises (Mellisi? What’s the plural of a Mellis?), simply strolling through proceedings, not being at all bothered about the time and space afforded them as Boro pushed half their team up front. This was neatly summed up in a half ar5ed attempted chip from a clean through Pedersen, the ball scuffed gently along the floor to a retreating keeper. Then the actual Mellis was taken off, so we only had 10 of them and Polish Tom had his usual thrusting cameo (why does he never start a game?).
But of course, when we fail to put a team to the sword, we’ll always give them an opportunity to hit back. Boro missed a great opportunity with 12 mins left. I can’t remember the miss, I just remember thinking ‘that’s it. Their chance has gone. They’ll not get back into it now.’ I can’t believe I allowed my inate scepticism to waver for a moment. It took 4 mins for it to return. O’Brien was skinned for the 4th time in 15 minutes at right back (2 questions: 1. Why was nobody covering him after the 1st time he was skinned? 2. How did O’Brien end up at right back for the last 20 minutes, while Wiseman was still on the pitch? Where had HE gone?) Anyway…yes, O’Brien was skinned, the ball was pulled back, and Adomah hit a crisp finish which looped in off a defender and over a despairing Butland. The hunt for a clean sheet goes on. 2 mins later and it really is squeaky bum time, as a hopeful ball into the box is missed by everyone and Adomah bags another. I really don’t understand how the ball got to him, it never seemed to go above head height and one, if not two, of our players simply allowed it to pass them.
This woke the fans (and players) up though. All of a sudden, there was a game on. You could see the players putting in a shift, desperate not to give Boro anything. Why does it need them to score for us to do this? Including injury time, it was 10 mins of hanging on, though Boro only had one chance in that time, when the ref allowed a blatant push to go unpunished (to be fair, he’d given us everything else: see earlier comment re: luck) and that player’s knockdown was put wide from 6 yards. Phew.
*** O’Grady. Held the ball up, time and again he put himself between their player and the ball and used his strength well. Notched two, though neither were goal of the season contenders – a penalty and a ball that hit him. Sponsors MOTM.
** M’Voto. Won everything in the air against million pound man Jukowicz (sp?). And he had to win a lot, as Boro launched it almost as much as Washday do, 1st half.
* Crainie. Along with M’Voto, shut the door on the Boro attack.
Away: 2200.
Despatches:
Butland was again magnificent, yet proof magnificent is never enough in our goal was in conceding another 2. I thought Kennedy was decent, till the last 15 when Boro hit on this amazing idea of giving their terrific wingers the ball – after that, they tore us to pieces on both flanks. O’Brien did well, till he found himself at right back. The rest were a bit crap, actually.
Does absence make the heart grow fonder? I was ambling towards t’Well wondering this. As it’s 20 odd years since I lived in the north-east, can I really carry on despising a team (Boro) whose fans I never see anymore? Well, on encountering a few of the Smoggies (Smog Monsters) near the ground, I can quite categorically say ‘YES’. Ever masters of supreme irony, their drunken strains of ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ sounds even worse when they’ve yet to even get in the stadium. Listen lads, if you wanna leave, the train station’s BEHIND you. And do you really intend to sing ‘MiddlesBORE, MiddlesBORE’. Too bl**dy true. Still, we had the joys of a Boro fan in our midst on the train. Number of mentions of not seeing ‘Kes’ in Barnsley: four. Number of allusions to raping women: three
Drink du jour: JD and DC (Diet coke). 2 litres of JD between 5 (and Gerry) = very drunk. So naturally me, Andy and Slacki went to Caminos once we got back, where I vaguely remember drinking something pink. Maybe the other 2 can confirm? I also cannot remember leaving Camino’s, or where I caught the bus from, but I do remember missing my stop. Again.
So, here it is, we’ve now won 2 games – and coincidentally against teams with former ‘star’ players…Hamill and Butterfield. Are there any other ex-players in this league? It might be our best chance of winning a 3rd game this season.
Come on you Reds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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