‘I didn’t shag her, he only sucked me off.’
Another season, another home disappointment v the Fowls. It doesn’t matter how bad Washday are, the Oakwell experience never ends well for us. At least this time we took the lead – a super finish from Pedersen, preying on the luck of a defence in disarray as his 1st effort cannoned off the post (should’ve done better).
But I guess anyone of you who’re reading this would’ve been interested enough to tune in to the game on telly anyway. So do I need to say we controlled it for 60 mins then threw it away? Do I need to point out how complacent we were early second half, knowing how much better than Washday we were, knowing how we were already leading, knowing there was no particular need to grab a 2nd, or a 3rd? If you’d substitute ‘Middlesbrough’ for ‘Sheffield Wednesday’ I’d swear it was last week.
Then it happened. A corner is cleared by us and, with 11 men back and no-one on the halfway line, O’Grady and Pedersen chase the ball down, only for it to be hoofed back, with interest. A slice, or a flick-on – who knows? – and the ball runs loose for Fryatt to smash the ball past Butland. We have the best keeper in the division and still there is no way we will ever keep a clean sheet. And I blame Flitcroft for this one: the same happened 1st half, a corner cleared, BOTH O’G and the Norweigan ran it down (listen lads: ONE to run to the ball, the other to hang back) and Pedersen was sidestepped, the cross came in and somehow their guy missed an open goal on the back post. QED, there is NO advantage to us having 11 men back in the box off a corner, cos the resultant ball back in ends up being more dangerous than the original deadball.
And from equalising, there was only ever going to be one winner – Washday. 2, if not 3, unbelievable saves from Butland prevented this, one was even deflected and he clawed it away. I’m with Butland – if you can’t make it to Brazil with England while playing behind this team, how else can you!? And I'm not even mentioning the blatant penalty (M'Voto's handball).
MOTM was tough. I had a row with the rest of the train re: the merits of Kennedy, who I thought played a blinder, making 3 fabulous tackles. Meantime, it seems the world and his wife thinks Wiseman had a great game, and I never noticed him. (I wouldn’t normally commend The Football League Paper for its marks, but they thought Kennedy was impressive.) McCourt got official MOTM, Perkins got it off the telly….and Butland was the only one with a ‘perfect’ game, his main blemish being having little to do for an hour! And so it is I go for…
*** McCourt. Looked great going forward, beating players with ease (except when he didn’t). One sublime dribble 1st half and how Pedersen missed the subsequent tap in I’ll never know. In fact, 3 times the ball fizzed along their 6 yard box and zero times were either of our 2 centre forwards on the end of it. Poor. Plus, Paddy was sorely missed when he came off, replaced (sort of) by Jennings, on the wing (more of him later).
** Kennedy. Give credit where it’s due. He’s nobody’s choice of left back, but he was excellent for 70+ minutes.
* Butland. Didn’t quite have enough to do to make him MOTM, but as I said, everything he did was outstanding. He even shouts at his defence like an international. I bet he cried into his beer, Sat nite.
Despatches:
Where to start? Can someone NOT Fox take a deadball, cos he doesn’t impress me, whatever he does in training. And what DOES Mellis do? (‘Gets substituted’ – Sarah, reading this over my shoulder). Played out wide, ‘not his natural position’ they all say. ‘Well, better there than in central midfield, where he can do (us) damage’ says I. But I’ve not quite seen ire for one bloke’s half an hour cameo for a while until Jennings came on. I’ve been trying to allay judgement, for fear I haven’t seen him enough, but God he looks s***. So s*** he’s re-igniting dreams that it might not be too late for some of us to get a game for the Super Reds. My favourite (everyone’s favourite?) Dale Jennings moment must have been when he dummied the bloke on the through ball then fell over turning. Is it wrong to laugh at your own players? ‘Ex-Bayern Munich’ they say. ‘Ex-Tranmere Rovers’ says I. As for the rest, Andy is indeed right: you’re all in danger of giving one player too many dues when 3 or 4 of them all look the same – ‘mousey brown hair and beards’ (Sarah’s words, she’d also noticed that from the comfort of our couch). Anyway, may I say, I’m currently in possession of both. OI FLITCROFT! Gizza game! Go on! Gizza game! I can do it! I can, David, I can!
As for the trip, the early KO did the London branch no favours. I was problies last to get up, at half past bl**dy six, in time to be on 3 (count ‘em!) late trains up north and then a Magical Mystery Tour on the way back, 4 and a half hours of avoiding engineering works and the sight of Robin Hood airport and Lincoln Cathedral. WTF? Still, not as bizarre as being joined by a black geezer who confuses me with his ‘impression of Bruno’ – sounded nothing like Sasha Baron Cohen’s gay Austrian fashion bloke, but no, it’s some ex-boxer of my childhood. Topical! Then he confirms what we’ve already suspected, ‘I have the same problem as (Frank) Bruno’ and an uncomfortable silence ensues. Before he starts singing again…was it UB40? I forget…But youse MUST ask Andy Jones to regale you with his tale of a trip to a Cologne brothel, cos that one still tickles me.
Drink du jour: Vodka and coke, with a couple of bottles of red. But there was some serious wilting going on till the alcohol kicked in. I’ve decided I’m not such a fan of 12:15 home games, despite Mrs Reed getting the drinks in at the Old Number 7!
Going down with the Wednesday…
A
ps, one final comment. 3130 away fans. Are they the Blunts in disguise? One thing I've always thought about the blue and white stripey ba5tards - they always bring a few and make some noise. Not this time.
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