Barnsley 0-0 Brighton & Hove Albion, Saturday 5th April 2014

“two to one, Stephen Dawson, three to one, Stephen Dawson, four to one, Stephen Dawson”

Nothing says ‘holiday!’ more than sitting on your couch having a snifter of port in the middle of the afternoon while watching a pointless football match (West Ham v Liverpool).  Good to see the Scousers conceding from a blatant foul on the keeper.  Anyway…

yesterday I went to a football match.  S*** or bust for both Barnsley and Brighton, us needing the points to stay up, them needing a win to stay on course for the play offs.  A classic was guaranteed.

That's zero mins to go, not gone.  A classic indeed.

We went 4-5-1, Pedersen out, replaced by McLoughlin, playing a sort of right midfield role.  Polish Tom went central and O’G was on his own up front.  1^st half, we played some attractive football, with McLoughlin in particular, impressing with his foraging runs.  However, goalless at half time, with the only real chance being a pullback to the edge of our box for Brighton to hit over.  Brighton led 3-1 on bookings, with the centre forward (Ulloa) doing his best to get sent off, though the ref did well to give him three last chances.

Second half, kicking towards the Ponty, I was optimistic.  Brighton would have to come at us more, we could pick them off on the counter (or vice versa).  Instead…nothing happened.  M’Voto missed an open goal with a header (head like a fifty pee piece) while McLaughlin hit the bar with a looping header from a looping Kennedy cross.  Hardly a chance, I’d say, more a case of our lad doing well to get the header somewhere on target.  Meantime, they blazed a couple more pullbacks over the bar.  (It’s almost like Brighton practice these things).

Then the most contentious decision(s) of the match.  Etuhu gets booked for making a perfectly fine tackle on the halfway line and within minutes he’s walking, as a blatant foul on a player bearing down on the final third gives the ref no choice.  Mr Reed was still so apoplectic after the match that he tried all the way to London to pick an argument with me about it, so I’ll tell it how it is: if the ref decided the 1^st one was a foul (even if I didn’t) he had to book him, cos their player was in on the break.  The 2^nd card was a little stupid.  Etuhu knew he was on a yellow, he shoulda just let their guy go (heading as he was towards the corner), let the centre half come in on the cover, while he regrouped in the centre.  But no, he HAD to make the challenge, a stone cold yellow if ever there was one.  So, we had 15 mins to play with a man down.

To be fair, Brighton still didn’t threaten.  Though with German Nick on the pitch, it often felt like we had 9 players.  I’d have dragged his sorry substitute ar5e off the field once we went down to 10, cos he has the mobility of a postbox.  The match drifted towards goallessness, as Brighton STILL had no sense of adventure.  What a let down they were to the 625 or whatever it was who came up.  (How does a team with 27,000 home fans, on the edge of the play offs, only manage 600 odd away fans?)  Brighton looked like a team happy to get a nil-nil at Barnsley.  Christ, I’D be disappointed with a nil-nil at Barnsley!

625/27000 = a very low ratio.

*** O’Grady.  Held up everything, brought players in, made an amazing defensive tackle 2^nd half.  Got nothing off the ref despite constant shirt pulling, kicking, etc etc.  The usual.

** M’Voto.  Won everything.  If only he’d bagged that open goal.

* Nyatanga.  The perfect central defensive pair?  Big and brutal with classy and calm?

Despatches:
Sponsors MOTM Dawson prompted well from midfield, despite the betting allegations against him.  Polish Tom had a couple of good runs down the middle, while Kennedy was excellent at left back.  As was Kelvin on the right, till his early departure.

Good noise from the fans too, especially the Ponty.  Such a shame the players couldn’t deliver.  The team did their best, played well, but lacked that extra quality needed to create chances.  Bring back Mellis!  (Or get Paddy on).  But don’t gimme German Nick.  O’Grady’s lack of pace is bad enough, without Herman being on.  I counted 4 touches for the German; 3 he lost the ball and a 4^th involved heading the ball straight up in the air (but with 10 men, no-one was running up in support).  He offers NOUGHT to our team.

Home Time on Grove Street

Drink du jour: vodka and orange or JD and coke.  Takes yer pick.  Then we drank the Betjeman out of Lowenbrau at St. Pancras (though admittedly this was only 4 pints) while it was also great to see the return of Geraldo.  And a lively train back, full of Leyton Orient…including a couple of ex-pupils of one Mr Jones!  (And you shoulda seen the size of the fat kid with the PE GCSE!)

Come on you Reds!

A

ps, I see Liverpool have just been given their 2^nd pen of the game, 5^th in a week.  That’s an entire SEASON’S worth.  F*** me.