‘The Casting Couch’ (R.I.P. Loko)
Sarah thinks it’s the new ties on the Londontykes flag (which she sewed). Two games, two wins. Phil thinks it’s buying me a match programme – which he has done for Forest home, Reading and Yeovil away. Three wins in three games. Maybe it’s Andy Reed missing games? (Last two). Some have suggested a correlation between Jacob Ba5tard Fcuking Mellis being absent from our midfield. Others suggest it’s these new tactics of D. Wilson esq, which actually have us in the opposition’s half of the field, scoring some goals. Whatever, who cares…we’re FLYING!
Sarah thinks it’s the new ties on the Londontykes flag (which she sewed). Two games, two wins. Phil thinks it’s buying me a match programme – which he has done for Forest home, Reading and Yeovil away. Three wins in three games. Maybe it’s Andy Reed missing games? (Last two). Some have suggested a correlation between Jacob Ba5tard Fcuking Mellis being absent from our midfield. Others suggest it’s these new tactics of D. Wilson esq, which actually have us in the opposition’s half of the field, scoring some goals. Whatever, who cares…we’re FLYING!
Does it get any better than this? From the barmaid at the 1st pub, to the journey back to Londontown, this was a day to savour. In what is comfortably the best week of the season, we record not one, but two consecutive away wins – having previously had the worst away record in the division! I’m loving it (loving it loving it). To the surprise of all, Selwood is even at Waterloo, waiting for us, as we get the 09:20 – just like BFC (no hassle / Hassell). At Yeovil we hop in a 7 seater (perfick!) and head into town. Great 1st boozer (see ‘barmaid’) but no-one else there, so off we pitch to another one. Naturally, the ‘pub crawl’ begins and ends at the Wetherspoons, as we bump into various odds and sods (Neil!) including the Courthouse Reds, sporting a variety of oompah loompas (sp?) and tellytubbies for some reason. Time for one more pub, the Elephant and Castle – but it’s been closed for 37 years according to the plaque. So as 3 of us crawl back to Wetherspoons, the 3 who’d YET TO GET A ROUND IN disappear. Yes, Loko, Salisbury and Selwood – I mean YOU.
The ground is barely closer to the town centre than the railway station, so it’s taxi time again to the ground. Get there in perfect time, about 2 mins before KO. Phil spends the half looking for a programme seller, convinced we’ll not win if he doesn’t buy me one. (I must admit, I’m liking this ritual). Did I mention how glorious the weather was? Open terrace, beautiful sunshine. Honestly, I could get used to this. Get in ground and some kind souls have even left a space for the flag. 800 Reds fans are there to see the latest slaying. (Apparently, about 23 tickets had been sold BEFORE we beat Reading).
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| The Family Crainie (plus Londontyke). And he's not even playing! |
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| 2 Reds fans celebrate finding the ground |
1st half – errr….can’t remember much. They had a fantastic one touch move from a free kick ending in Steele making a(nother) world class save. He’s come bang into form at the right time. Apart from that, neither threatened. A cagey affair.
2nd half – f*** me. I think it’s fair to say we never missed a chance, as we racked up 4, conceding one. O’G opens it up, lobbing the keeper from an underheaded backpass. The fool. Lawrence makes it two-nil. (This may be the one where we win the ball back by Noble-Lazarus chasing back: Mellis, are you reading this?). It was getting a bit boring by now, so we throw them a bone and they hit a crisp shot from an unmarked bod on the backpost. But these Barnsley Boys don’t even give us time to worry: O’G runs clear and rounds the keeper (1-3) before Jennings hits another belter for 4-1. I am hugging a teletubby.
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| Celebrity Reds' fans (plus Gorilla) |
*** Tonight Matthew, I’m going with goalscorers. So it’s O’G – gorgeous finishes to match his gorgeous looks (!).
** Jennings. Another ‘typical’ Jennings performance. As in ‘typical of him since he came back from loan’.
* Lawrence. Gets better and better.
Despatches:
You know you’ve lost it when you’re arguing with Dipsy and Tinky Winky, but that’s what we had as an irate Yeovil fan left the ground before the end. Eh Oh!!!!!!!!
Jean-Yves. In what must be the most backhanded compliment of a song, we had ‘Hard to believe it you know…you’ll never beat M’Voto’. Another awesome game. (Later on, were the words changed to ‘He’s magic you know’? I can’t remember) Anyway, he appears to be ‘Doing a Darren’ (Moore).
We were fabulous, from back to front. Well, if you include once Pedersen had gone off (injured) after 24 mins. Sorely missed? Never noticed him. Replaced by Noble-Lazarus. (Add that to your ‘reasons we’ve won the last 2 matches’.)
After lots of crowing, we finally left the ground, got the beers in at the supermarket (I’m telling youse that WAS Kennedy!) and taxied it back to the station for the train. Where I necked 2 bottles of red, and after another guzzle at The Hole in the Wall, I fell asleep on the bus and ended up in Dulwich. Perfick!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Alcohol does this to you... |
COME ON YOU REDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A
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