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| Reedy tries to commit suicide afterwards (note to the kids: not big or clever.) |
The above was spoken while me, The Captain and Gandhi walked through Wakey, heading towards Kirkgate (Westgate? Who knows?) for our trip home. While discussing the merits of Wakefield’s architecture, young and old, it could equally be a comment on Little Lee Johnson’s attempts at football tactics down at that there Oakwell. It’s certainly modern…one up front, pack the midfield, put more importance on possession than the creation of chances…but is it sh*t? I think we can agree on one thing, and that’s the calling of a turd a turd. Even those who were put through an atrocious home performance in midweek were agreed; this was worse. Beaten by a fishing village* near Blackpool. Have we hit rock bottom yet, or is that still to come?
*ex. It’s all gone now.
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| Welcome to ... |
According to the BBC’s website, Little Lee wasn’t fearing the sack after Tuesday night. If he’s not now, there must be something wrong with him. Or else the latest Chief Exec (or whatever he’s called) Bullsh*t Ben, doesn’t want to pull the plug cos it’s a failed appointment on his behalf. Honestly, this midget from Newmarket (Little Lee) should’ve stuck to being a jockey, cos nought else has come out of that place (save for my partner, her family, and everyone else she knows – cos she occasionally reads this!) I just hope Loko reads this, cos if he thinks I can’t manage us to 21st (our current position) then I think he needs his head looking at. I’m sorry, Little Lee, but your tactics are HINDERING not HELPING our players. (Am I repeating myself? Did I say this LAST WEEK?) I am gobsmacked that he blames ’missed chances’ cos I’ve been at these games, and if I can offer ONE positive about today, it’s that we DIDN’T MISS A CHANCE. Where are these chances to which he refers? Training? Cos we’ve not missed much at home to Crewe and Fleetwood, and away at Southend. We have an entire midfield of creative/attacking midfield players and we create f*** all. Absolutely f*** all. We tippy-tappy it around nicely on the halfway line, but the minute it gets in their half, we panic, players fall over, can’t control a ball, become invisible (Winnall – yes, I mean YOU) and generally s*** themselves. Come and watch me on a Thursday night – I can do all that. Plus I can do the Winnall thing, blaming it on everyone but myself.
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| The inter-city 125. |
I had a conversation pre-match about how it drives me up the wall that when I play 5 aside some idiots try to take on a player despite them being the last man. I should expect it – these people have other jobs and some of their ‘footballing intelligence’ is negligible. A bit like Marc Roberts, who tried it himself, lost the ball, and only stopped a goal cos he’s too huge to run around. Dragged off at half time. Oh, and got booked, cos he’s too slow to realise he’s never going to get to THAT tackle. (Luckily, he wasn’t booked earlier for similar). He obviously enjoyed life in the Conference so much with Halifax that he’s determined to take us back there with him.
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| The Super Reds sent out early 2nd half |
A player who should (will?) be going in the opposite direction is Crowley of Arsenal, the nation’s ‘best 17 year old’. Shame he’s now 18, cos he goes round in so many circles he must be dizzy. Is that why he also got dragged off at half time? ‘Boss, I’m feeling a bit woozy’. Will SOMEONE tell him to part with the ball, cos he’s not actually doing anything with it, save for taking on the same defender multiple times to no avail.
Oh, and then there’s Little Lee signing Yet Another Loanee, this time some bloke I’ve never heard of from Southampton. He’s a good looking fella too – but I prefer my footballers to be a bit more footballer. Played (appeared) wide right, pulled up no trees, became substitution #3 and won Twitter MOTM. Go figure. We should get rid of our reserve and junior teams right now, cos there is absolutely no point to them if we are just shipping in loan after loan after loan after loan.
Talking of loanees, we were so bad that Michael Smith LOOKED ALRIGHT. Seriously, he came on, held the ball up, kept possession. Great. Ok, so he ended up taking the ball back 10-15 yards every time, but at least he kept hold of it. Never came close to scoring, but hey! That’s not why we have forwards…
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| Say no more. |
Of course, none of all this matters, cos if Paul Digby isn’t getting the blame for everything on the BBS right now I’d be amazed. He’s the world’s most unlucky Reds player, every mistake he makes ends up in a goal. Carelessly dispossessed on the halfway line, their bloke still had 2 centre halves and a goalkeeper in front of him, but he rounded Roberts with ease and coolly slotted past Townsend. I wonder if Little Lee felt as vindicated as last week, when the goals went past Davies. (‘SEE. I TOLD YOU HE WAS USELESS!!!’) We all want Digby to do well, but when he comes in, one mistake always costs us and he never gets that run in the side. Good to see his teammates rally round too – 8 players’ heads go down, before Mawson says something…then Scowen looks like he’s gonna say something positive, but the arms outstretched look more of a ‘WTF????’. Cheers lads, kick a dog when he’s down, that’s the way (team spirit being the vodka they drink later, one suspects).
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| The Ponty |
So that was full time, 0-1. In between we had 3 shots on target (1st half). Scowen had a long ranger that elicited hoots of derision from the HOME fans (cos we’d finally had a shot on goal), someone else hit a long shot on the bounce that couldn’t get any power in despite it being on the half volley and Mawson hit a tremendous free kick towards the top corner which the keeper blindingly tipped over. Not to worry, we will DESTROY them 2nd half. Actually, whatever constitutes ‘shots on target’ (I see we had 5 according to official stats) most certainly included a header from their defender which would’ve gone in had their keeper fallen down drunk and a cross that was so inaccurate it would have gone in had the keeper not had the temerity to catch it. ‘Beaten by Fleetwood Mac’ said a mate later on. (And, by god, that pub in Finsbury Park was full of smug Arsenal mates crowing about being top of the league....in October).
*** Smith (George). Consistent, in a good way.
** Mawson. Won everything, composed.
* Wabara. Ok, I’m struggling, but he looked alright…didn’t he?
Londontykes' Top 3:
1. G. Smith
2. Isgrove
3. Mawson / No-one
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| Home Time - thank god. |
Despatches:Ahhh, Little Lee. At least he was brave enough to make a decision at half time. Unfortunately, what came out was problies even worse. After 20 odd more minutes of tippy tappy, we elect to hoof it long. How depressing. Watching Nyatanga’s sole raison d’etre to be getting it onto his left peg in order to hoof it up is one of the most dispiriting sights I’ve seen in a while. Townsend played well, made some good saves, caught some crosses, but cannot understand that when he hoofs it, he HOOFS IT TOO FAR thereby ceding possession. At least drop it behind their defence, but not as far as the keeper. Little Lee figured he’d put Digby at the front of the diamond (so if he made a mistake, there’d be Scowen on the cover). Did it work? Yes – Digby never saw the ball, so was hard pushed to make a mistake. Scowen saw LOADS of the ball, but what can he do from the halfway line? Harris flattered to deceive and a couple of times he and Smith (George) linked well. But like Crowley of Arsenal, I get the impression that he’s a bit depressed having to pass the ball to less talented players and ends up trying to do more than he should. But why not have a shot when your option is crossing it to Winnall/Smith (Michael).
Oh, and Little Lee sending the team out early, at half time. Trying to make a statement? Gave them a bolloc*ing did yer, Lee? Told them to sort themselves f***ing out, did you? Rudderless, clueless, up sh*t creek padderless. F*** it, I don't care - I get to tick off Morecambe and Accrington next season, while Little Lee signs on.
Drink du jour: I let myself down, my friends down, my family down. I was off to a party once back in London, so neglected the vodka for a few beers (Leffe). Suffice to say, I now know what I normally look like when I get to Kings Cross, cos Andy drank over a half a bottle of vodka and he was mortalled.
Away: The Inter-city crew were here, all 125 of ‘em.
The Damage:
3 prog 22.20 travel 19 t-shirt 18 2 mugs (one for my dad..’oh yeah, I’d seen that…I didn’t think it was very good’.
= £62.20
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| 1st sighting of Oakwell |
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| Back of the East Stand |
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| East Stand concourse |
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| Away end in the sun. |
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| The West Stand |
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