Whatever might be said about Big Val’s hoofball last season, at least there was a PLAN on how to score. All we have right now is the world’s most bizarre scientific experiment involving Oduor in a front 3. What was it Einstein said about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? At least Woodrow has pedigree, right? But since he’s barely scored a goal in open play in 2 years, when does ‘form’ become permanent? Once again, he spent 90 minutes trying desperately to get shots off which were never gonna go in, including a turn and twist 25 yard half volley in the 1st half. I can excuse the one where he was played in close to goal, wide right, 2nd half and he couldn’t wrap his foot around it cos, well, cos he’s a bit slow and cumbersome.
The other bloke in the front 3 was Iseka. I presume he’s one of them there Belgians we’ve been hanging our hopes on? Well, I’ll tell you how good he was, he was hooked at half time. On came Freezer, that other renowned goalscorer. Still, on rare occasions he stands still, you can at least admire his tattoos. In 90 minutes, the forwards engineered ONE chance, as Oduor ran through 3 or 4 of them and was so surprised at being clean through he delayed his shot till he was about 10 yards out…and missed the unmissable, somehow finding the keeper’s legs despite the custodian barely coming off his line. I’ve said before that I find Oduor running around being fast and tricky (but ultimately clueless) vaguely entertaining, but there’s no excuse for not being able to finish from there. Composure is something you simply can’t teach. You’re either cool in front of goal or your legs turn to absolute jelly and you find yourself praying the keeper will charge out, take you out…and you can let someone else take the pen (see: Stoke’s penalty on Wednesday).
The likeliest player on Satdy for us was Helik. In fact, after one gutbusting 50 yard run down the middle of the pitch, he was probably our best midfielder too. (This was 2 minutes after he’d had the ball and had a right shout at the players in front of him standing still). If a job’s worth doing, Michal… He had a header saved off a corner and another flick, so nearly into the far corner, missed the end of sub Victor’s boot by an inch. At least I know why centre forward Cauley is in the team – he can take a good corner. My God. He also had 2 powderpuff free kicks*, the first of which was clearly ideal for a left footer, but he waved Styles away. Quality captaincy. Someone I wish he COULD stop from having a shot is Brittain, who had his obligatory effort into the crowd (he will never score for BFC while I have a hole in my ar5e.)
* the 2nd was after Helik's 50 yard run was brought to a halt by a foul, the resultant freekick dribbling well wide after a deflection.
Inbetween, I thought Brittain had done alright in centre mid, along with Styles, quite busy and involved. So Schopp dragged Sibbick off at half time (no one knew why; the sheer hell of it?) and Brittain found himself right back (when he was there). Late on, he was tempted into charging forward for a loose ball, but wisely figured he wouldn’t get there, trotted back into defensive position…but a yard not far enough. The ball was played through, Brittain was beaten, and Collins rescued us again with a smart save on the near post. It was the minutest of mistakes, but it’s what separates the best from the rest. You have to be switched on to your job ALL THE TIME. Earlier Collins had saved a one on one when a peach of a through ball had sent Chilean international Brereton Dias (!) clean through.
Right, I’ll stop there. I’m almost thinking I’m making this game sound like a corker, which it plainly wasn’t. (1/5 in the Football League Paper). It had its moments, but the game was littered with mistakes. If we’re to stay up, it’s two points lost.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Helik. I’ve said it. Best defender, midfielder and forward we have. I think people are starting to take his interceptions, headers and tackles for granted, cos for the most part it was simply ‘his usual game’, but he’s so far ahead of anything else we have outside of a goalkeeper’s shirt, it’s frightening.
** Collins. What can I say? Perfection…but didn’t have owt to do apart from those 2 saves. 1 or 2 charges out of the box, but again, as per….
* Woodrow. I’ve had a real think about 3rd. I liked Styles and Brittain buzzing around, but after the tactical and personnel changes, they disappeared. If you took away Woodrow’s desperate attempts at scoring a goal, he led the line well….hang on, f*** it. Those free kicks are haunting me. I can’t really give him 3rd least worst Barnsley player on that pitch today, can I? To hell with it. * Brittain
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Helik 2. Collins 3. Woodrow
Official MOTM: Moon. Well, you have to give the young lads some encouragement, don’t you? (He had nothing to do; Helik did it all.)
Despatches:
Haven’t I said enough?
Iseka – carthorse
Hondermarck – carthorse
Halme – carthorse
Adeboyejo – carthorse
Cauley – errrr…..
I say let’s invest in a field and sow some crops cos we’ve got half the necessary equipment.
Oh, I’ll give you a despatch. As you might know, the Super Reds, having only had all summer to get season tickets working, have had to replace them all. So I updated my address to County Durham…and they STILL posted it to London. So they gave me another ST on Satdy…which (can you guess?) didn’t work on the turnstile. It was now 5 past 3 and the horrible man insisted on letting me in anyway, the ba5tard, ‘as it’s so close to kick-off’’. Errr…. So there’s my plans sorted for pre-match v Forest. I’ll stand in another queue to get my ST sorted. (ps, Loko, they didn’t have my card waiting for me on the ‘pick up tickets’ table. So much for me emailing them in advance.)
Drink du jour: A pint of Northern Monk pale ale. This really was the highlight of my day, savouring every last drop in the Old #7 while looking at pics of Mrs Reed’s gorgeous future abode. Oh, and how jealous I was, not having a train journey back to London to look forward to, with copious amounts of pain numbing alcohol to imbibe, good folks and the eternally optimistic telling me we’re heading for the play offs and if it wasn’t for the damn referee….(he was fine by the way).
Away: 1,647 (Att: 13,640) Very good. I’m not so sure about their taunts of ‘Your support is f***ing s***’ and ‘Is this a library?’ cos I’ve been to Ewood Park and if there’s one Championship stadium which makes Oakwell sound like a Boca Juniors-River Plate derby it’s….
The Damage: £3 programme c.£25 petrol = c.£28
The Tunes:
BBC 5live
BBC 6Music
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