Course, I’m being negative. I quite enjoyed yesterday’s game, in part because of our tactic of playing it out from within our own box. At what point will it cost us a goal? Who cares? It’s crazy, edge of the seat stuff and highly entertaining if you’ve no faith in our front players ever scoring a goal. How boring would it be to simply take a ‘proper’ goalkick and hoof it somewhere towards the halfway line? On the rare occasion it worked, we left 3 Brum players the wrong side of the ball and lots of space to attack into. Otherwise, we are inviting the opposition on and are pressed into our own half. Total football!
Somehow, it was an entertaining, open, game. I say ‘somehow’ because the opposition involved ‘Birmingham City’ and ‘Lee Bowyer’. Of COURSE they were niggly, but generally the ref let the game flow…unless it was Manchester United’s Hamza Choudrary falling down in front of a Reds player. Listen, I get that the ref admires Hamza’s hair. Me too. But I thought refs had been told to stop giving these stupid little free kicks when a player falls down after being touched. Particularly aggrieved must be Cauley Woodrow, who didn’t get ANYTHING and spent most of the match with his arms out wide, puzzled look on his face after yet another defender went through him. We should get a statue of him outside Oakwell – Cauley as Christ the Redeemer (with Russell Howard’s face. He does look like Russell Howard, doesn’t he?)
We went ahead relatively early. Oduor recycled the ball in their box and pulled it back for Styles to smash home into the top corner from just outside the area. Full marks to their defenders for showing him onto his left foot – the only one he has. Still, we returned the favour before half-time, Sibbick allowing the ball to drop over his head for that big centre forward with the Eastern European name who no-one can spell, however many years he plays in the Championship*, to score, after cutting back and leaving Kitching floundering.
*Jutkiewicz. I’ve just looked it up. He’s British as well. Who knew?
I just looked up something else too – how many shots we had on target. I know, I know, I was there and should know these things. The answer was 2 by the way, but I forget the other one. The closest we got to a goal second half was when Oduor (him again!) nicked the ball off the last defender and ran through on goal, only to be pulled back for a foul throw by Brum. Despite the anger of the natives, I think the ref’s hands were tied – you can’t play an advantage on a foul throw. (But you could ignore the fact it’s a foul throw, you do every other time it happens.)
Otherwise, we spent the half being picked off on the counter by Brumingham. This was a shame for La Famille Jones-Marchioni, ensconced together in the Ponty for their 1st match of the season (yes, I could see youse from the East Upper), as all the action was at the other end. But in a shock to the system, it appeared I was the optimistic one. Birmingham couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo tied to a cow’s arse. I had every faith in their ability to miss from anywhere, and the one time they did get through, Collins saved a one-on-one. (It will come as no surprise to learn this was entirely our own fault as 2 of our players needlessly lost it on our left wing with most of our team in and around their box.) So, we’ve nicked a draw in a game we shoulda lost (today), got a win in a game we should have lost (Cov) and got a loss in a game we shoulda lost (Luton). Repeat after me: we are not in trouble. We are not in trouble. We are not in trouble.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Helik. Won everything and was official MOTM. In particular, I was impressed with his ability to step out from behind the centre forward and intercept balls. Get him sold before transfer deadline.
** Styles. For a second successive game, he takes a PROPER yellow with some cynical foul play. This time, knowing he’s being stripped for pace on the break, he shepherds the player out towards the Main Stand. Proper professional, none of these namby-pamby cautions.
* Collins. Didn’t put a foot wrong and involved in everything good about our performance (tippy-tappy triangles around our 6 yard box).
Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Helik 2. Collins 3. Styles
Despatches:
Reedy and Slacki made it as far as South Yorkshire, but chose the guaranteed good time of a Sheffield rock festival over Oakwell Roulette. Tut tut. The ref? He must be doing something right, both sets of fans agree ‘you’re not fit to referee’. That made me laugh, the Ponty’s ode followed by the away end encore.
The players? Oduor. Madcap foreign genius (again) or just madcap? What’s he doing up front? Are we the only team in the league to turn a wing back into a forward (Oduor) and a forward into a wing back (Miller, not that we ever see him)? Still, it gives entertainment value, as Oduor’s pace and trickery bring a few seconds of light relief before he inevitably loses it. What entertainment is there in the endeavour of a Freezer? Or a Woodrow? How many more times can I ask what’s happened to the latter? A snail crawling through treacle on a treadmill in reverse. Looked keen early on, as he shot wide from distance after 20 seconds. Shoulda taken him off then. Midfield? Brittain ran around and put in a few tackles. End product lacking, but no change there. Oh, nearly forgot…he tried ending his Reds drought with a 25 yard half volley with the ball behind him. No comment. Benson made a few passes and continued his BFC career as a slightly better version of Herbie Kane. Kitching and Sibbick I didn’t notice for the most part. They were just the blokes stood beside the immense Helik. If I’ve missed anybody, suffice to say they made no mark on the game.
Drink du jour: Rose lemonade. Good to be back in the Old #7, albeit briefly.
Away: 2,023 (Att: 13,950) Technically, a capacity away end in these days of post-Coronavirus, post-Brexit lack of stewards. I’m sure there’s an economic law for this, but when we give them 6,000, they bring 1500. When we give them 2,000, they sell out.
The Damage:
£3 prog
£48 3rd shirt
= £3
plus petrol…£20?
The Tunes:
Imidiwan (Tinariwen)
BBC 5Live
BBC6 Music (Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show). There’s only so much Robbie Savage one can put up with on 5live.
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