Sunday, 30 January 2022

BFC 0-1 AFC Bournemouth, Saturday 29th January 2022

‘We want Conway out, we want Conway out’

I don’t quite understand some of the positivity that’s being bandied about after yesterday. Yes, we had the ball (31% possession, btw!), yes, we made it into their half (occasionally), yes, we had a couple of shots….no, we didn’t score. No, we couldn’t hold a ball up front. No, we couldn’t create a decent chance. All I saw was a team lose an early goal and then never look like scoring. QED, 12 minutes in and we’d lost the match. Indeed, we should have been one down before I’d even seen one of our players touch the ball. Getting in late (as ever – I’d forgotten my season ticket, again) Bournemouth ripped us apart down their right with a quick give and go and a low cross was stabbed wide at the front post from 6 yards. But I didn’t have to wait long. And in some positive news…we have found A NEW WAY TO CONCEDE!

Collins came haring out of his goal and failed to get there. Solanke nipped in, took the ball wide, then looped a high cross into the box. Indeed, it was so high that Collins made it back to the 6 yard box, lost all semblance of where it/he was and flapped as Billing headed home. Still, there were 2 other defenders there who stood and admired Billing’s leap and Collins is entitled to make a mistake after the season he’s had. The wonder is that after a season and a half of clearing up behind our defence, it’s taken till now to see it go wrong. I’ve also no doubt the wind played a part in Solanke’s cross, bamboozling anything in red.

So that was it. Game over. We can’t blame Collins for our inability to put the ball in their net (or can we, a couple of his hoofs clearing everyone and landing at their keeper?) We had 2 decent strikes all game, Iseka being free on the left and although hit well, it was an easy diving save, and the other was from sub Marsh, within 30 seconds of coming on for his debut. To put that into perspective, an 18 year old debutant stung the keeper’s hands as much in half a minute as the rest of the team in 90. Apparently we had 7 shots on target (I’ve looked!), but that means 5 others were half hit scuffed dribbles to their keeper. There are some of US who could have kept a clean sheet for Bournemouth yesterday. (By us, I don’t mean me, I’d definitely not have saved Iseka’s.) I’ll tell you how good it was…while I took a phonecall near the exit at half-time, at least 5 fans walked out. ALL the best chances fell to Bournemouth, who could have had 4 or 5 (not including all the 2 on 2 attacks they messed up).

Otherwise, the entertainment was provided by the angry yoof of Oakwell, with constant rounds of ‘We want Conway out’ and ‘You greedy ba5tard, get out of our club’, followed by the longest conga line I’ve seen at Oakwell in a while. Turned out we weren’t ‘having a conga’ though, we were wandering to the front, then heading to the corner by the Main (West) Stand to focus our ire on the director’s box. (I can only presume Conway wasn’t there.) Did our Londontyke massif in that side of the Ponty join them, I wonder? Afterwards, I had the mispleasure to see a couple of them ‘offer out’ an older bloke who I presumed to be a Bornmuff fan till I heard him speak. Is this the beginning of ‘The Great Fracture’ as it shall be known heretofore, as our fans fall out with each other over the running of our club?

200 yards later, as we passed the station on ‘The Great Walk’ (that there bridge over the railway line STILL not having been built) 5 of the yoof were wearing traffic cones on their heads, before chanting some more about how much they hate Bournemouth. Hang on a minute. Hating Bournemouth? Nobody who supports Barnsley save for The Captain (who lives on the south coast) has any opinion whatsoever on the Cherries. In fact, they don’t even know who the Cherries are. Or where Bournemouth is. Though I can understand any jealousy towards a side bankrolled by the Russians to the Premiership, and now bankrolled back towards the Premiership by parachute payments. But that should be more grist to the mill of criticism for our (super rich) owners, who, nevermind bankrolling second division survival, use money provided by the fans to pay for their ownership of the club. If I knew I could do that, I’D own Barnsley FC! (Actually, no I wouldn’t.)

Onwards and upwards!

*** Mads. Head and shoulders above anything else in a red shirt. I don’t see how anyone can say otherwise. (Come and sit next to me if you need these things pointing out in real time.) Blocked numerous shots, made interceptions, great tackling.
**Helik. Quiet, yet still saved at least 2 certain goals.
* Jordan Williams. (or just ‘Williams’ since we’ve sold Ben). Defended well, looked to join the attack. And has my favourite current BFC hair. Oh, and him in the team saves me screaming at Brittain for shooting.

Londontykes' MOTM: 1. Andersen 2. Wolfe 3. Styles

Official MOTM: We don’t do MOTMs when we lose, do we?

Despatches:
I am seriously worried about our future. If the billionaire owners need £750k of our money to buy the club, why would any of us be insane enough to renew our season tickets? What if we renew, and the owners steal more of our money (let’s call it what it is, stealing)…because they can? How STUPID will I be feeling if that happens? (Very.) We will lose £6-7 million in TV money when we go down. If the owners aren’t willing to subsidise this, we face a fire sale of our best players, which basically means cut price deals for Helik, Mads and Woodrow. £5m for the trio? (Collins, albeit POTY, probably wouldn’t get a game for any of the Championship top 6 for whom we’d be looking to sell to.) We might get another £200k for Styles and Brittain, based on this season’s form. The rest? You couldn’t give away. Basically, we’ll return to division 3 without a decent spine to the team, at a time when we could be up against most, if not all, of Sunderland, Pompey, Washday, Ipshit, Charlton, in addition to well managed sides like Wycombe and Oxford. If the owners aren’t prepared to dip into their pockets, we could see another 20 years in the lower division wilderness a la the 60s and 70s (which I’m fortunate enough not to be old enough to remember). Ever since the Premiership days, the fans have shown remarkable loyalty in season ticket numbers, including the thousands who backed the club during lockdown when we knew we’d barely see a game. The owners now probably have 2 months to rescue a situation of their own founding. How do they bring the trust (not the Trust, that’s a different entity) back, following the debacles – sorry, I can think of no other word – of the West Stand closure, £750k thievery, poor summer signings, on pitch and off…and the continual buzz around the future of Oakwell? The Chief Exec claimed in the Trust interview ‘it is our aim to stay at Oakwell’. AIM? It’s a non-negotiable. The only people talking about moving from Oakwell are YOU LOT. Why? Cos the dark forces of Cryne and the council are preventing ‘the redevelopment of Oakwell (and we don’t just mean the West Stand)’? Well, tell us what your plans would be, were you to own the ground/land. The car park sold for housing? Training grounds built on? West Stand demolished for hot tubs? (The latter gets Slacki’s vote.) And who would pocket any windfalls? The owners? The club?

Yes, having written that, I don’t see what the owners can possibly do in 2 months to rebuild that trust. There’s nothing they can SAY in so short a time period which will repair the damage done. We can only hope that in the next year (presuming they stay) that their ACTIONS will prove they have the interests of the CLUB and its FANS. But, (worst case scenario) should the fans not renew in numbers and the owners lose interest ‘because the fans aren’t doing their bit’ (!) we’ll be in administration and facing the kind of future…or past…the likes of Luton, Stockport, Darlington, York City, Macclesfield and Bury (to name just a few) have been through. Just saying.

Further depression (and maybe this is just me) as a yoof in the box office asks for a ticket for the ‘South Stand’. I have never (ever) heard anyone refer to the Ponty End by its official name. I can find a nadir from anywhere. I’d already tried entering into the spirit of things by wearing one of our old Koala-made Vodka Kick sponsored 3rd division shirts. Might as well prepare for the inevitable. The good old days of a half-ar5ed Michael Boulding (who, for all his talent, would famously rather play tennis than football), Craig Ireland (who?) and Tony Gallimore (eh?). That’s not our past. That’s our future, that is. But on the plus side, the shirts are the size of tents and I can put on a couple more Covid stones without fear of my torso actually touching the inside of the shirt. Did I mention how cheap it feels too?

Back to the players. Wolfe made his debut in midfield, and the best I can say is that he wasn’t Palmer, Or Benson. He made one great Cruyff turn to take out 3 Cherries, but, otherwise, my abiding memory of him was us on the attack…and him standing on the halfway line with 5 (five!) defenders. That new left back? Vita (I had to look him up) played like he looked….a 12 year old schoolboy. Couldn’t defend to save his life. The run forward and nutmeg? Luck, not skill. Benson came on and with his locks shorn (so he looks like Ray Winstone in ‘Scum’) he actually put himself about. I don’t think I’ve seen him make a tackle before. And did I hear from the Chief Exec that the reason Jasper Moon (obviously, with a forename like that, I feel duty bound to use it) gets occasional runouts in midfield ahead of actual midfield player Hondermarck is cos he can take a throw in? Well, that worked, as his 2 long throws were comfortably cleared by Bornmuff centre halves. If I were the coach, I’d concentrate on playing FOOTBALLERS and teaching Moon how to pass a ball. (Mind, he was another who made a goal-saving block.) Cole and Iseka were completely toothless, but at least with Cauley injured, we got to see exactly why he never loses his place when fit. Styles and Palmer had exactly the kind of games they’ve had all season, with the inevitable result that Romal was dragged off. How does he keep getting picked? How many times can I ask ‘how does he keep getting picked?’ How many times can I ask ‘How many times can I ask ‘how does he keep getting picked?’ Marsh had a promising 12 minutes. Or 15, including injury time, the last 6 of which were played against 10 men. Cole had finally used his pace to good effect after 87 minutes, winning a 40/60 race to the ball with Cahill. I thought the subsequent (second) yellow was harsh, Cahill being a fraction late, though 10/10 to Cole, who rolled over at least 3 times, added a pirouette and finished with a triple salchow. You can guess how many saves their keeper made in that 6 minutes. (Note: Cahill’s first booking was for a cynical take out (of Styles?) on the halfway line to prevent a 2-on-2 break, the classic yellow card which should be punished by something stronger.)

To leave on a (genuine) positive…it was great to see Farnham pre-match, accompanied by Farnham (very) senior, on their way to reclaim their old seats in the West Stand. I’ll not mention our pre-match predictions of 0-2, 0-3 and 0-4. (May I say, I was the optimistic one.)

Drink du jour: Northern Monk ‘Eternal’ in that there new bar with the crap name that has an in-built record shop in the Arcade. Cracking turn out too, Jonesy x 3, Reedy x2, Slacki, Locky, Molly, Lord S, Wadd and Chris (Captain Haddock, Reedy’s old mate wearing his fisherman’s jumper again). The unfortunate fact is, if we don’t come and watch the Super Reds, there’s no way this eclectic bunch meets for a drink. This makes me sad.

Away: 926, or as many as I’ve ever seen Bournemouth bring. See, it IS possible buy support!

Matches played in front of a Main Stand safe enough for journalists/directors/non-playing players etc, but not safe enough for fans: 0. Fans were BACK! The stand is suddenly SAFE! Unconfined scenes of joy as….actually, what it looked like was we’ve peed off a few hundred more fans into not returning, after the closure debacle. Or did it just reflect the ground in general, as there were huge gaps in the Ponty and East Stands too? Still, small wins, eh?

The Damage:
c. £31 petrol
£3 programme
= c. £34

The Tunes:
None. Yapping.

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