Blyth Spartans 2-2 Darlington, Saturday 11th September 2021

Blyth Spartans 2-2 Darlington, National League North, Croft Park, att. 1,530

Having lived down south for many a year and being accused of being a Geordie, it was nice to be back amongst solid Durham folk today…chanting ‘you’re just a soft f***ing Geordie’ at the Spartans centre half with a tendency to go down in the 2nd half. Yes, Darlo were on the road and over the ancient boundary of the Tyne and into Northumberland…where their folk problies don’t like being called Geordies either (Blyth not being Tyneside).

Darlington were/are my 2nd team. If I’m not sure of the tense, I’ve lived in London a quarter of a century and Dulwich Hamlet are my local team, while I also see Clapton CFC wherever possible. Back in the day, I used to love a trip to Feethams (still the best Football League ground EVER), if only to put a sense of perspective into following a mid-2nd division side (Barnsley). However bad the football was at Oakwell, it was worse in the 4th division at Feethams. These days, Darlo can only dream of the 4th division (and Feethams). Having gone out of business and been revived by the fans, it’s been a hard slog. The George Reynolds’ white elephant of the Darlington Arena has been bequeathed to local rugger buggers Mowden Park (how can they afford to run it if the football club can’t???) while Darlo are now sharing a virtual park pitch with the other rugby team on the edge of town. Could be worse, and it was – they could still be playing 8 miles away in Bishop Auckland.

Blyth Spartans, meantime, have never played at a higher level. Their highlight was a cup run in 77/78, a 5th round replay defeat against Wrexham in front of 42,000 at St. James’ Park. These days there’s pride in having 4-figure crowds in each of their 3 home games and today was no exception – over 1,500 there today, including around 250 away fans. Croft Park is an excellent venue for this level too. A tall, if squat Main Stand straddled the halfway line and there weren’t many seats left there. Behind both goals stood steep terraces of about 8 steps, with cover helping the atmosphere. Opposite the Main Stand is a larger terrace which tapers off at each side, while some kids stood on a hillock just outside. Why pay when you can see both ends for free? (I don’t know if it was good or bad to see a couple of them wearing their Spartans green and white striped shirts, considering they were depriving their club of a few extra pennies. I’ll go with good. Replica shirts aren’t cheap.)

For Darlo, they’re on their way back (sort of). National League North, or division 6. But 3 matches in, 3 defeats. And it was obvious to see why today, with a static defence stood staring while 2 crosses from Blyth brought 2 free headers. 2-0, but a lifeline for Darlo before half time when a turn and left footed shot hit the far corner. Further hope was the half time substitution of centre half Lexus Beedon, less a footballer and more a character from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. On came ex-Blyth winger Jarrett Rivers and the Quakers gained their reward for 2nd half domination when another sub, Andrew Nelson, forced home on the rebound after his header came off the bar.

Previously, I’d been enjoying the gallows humour of the fans. Inbetween telling Blyth their support wasn’t much to write home about (I’m paraphrasing), the home side woke up when they went one up. ‘Sacked in the morning’ they taunted former Spartans manager Alan Armstrong, to which the Darlo reply came ‘You’re nothing special, we lose every week.’ Factually true thus far this season, but possibly not what the players want to hear. At 2-0, it was a round of ‘we’re f***ing s***, we’re f***ing s***, we’re f***ing s***’ followed by ‘how s*** must you be, it’s only 2-0’. We are 4 games into the season, but if ever a quote summed up what it’s like to support none of the Big 6, it was the Darlo fan arguing with his mate. ‘I hate Darlo and I support them.’

The Damage:
£12 ent
£2 programme
= £14

The Tunes:
BBC 5live
BBC6 Music (Craig Charles’ Funk and Soul Show)

Ashington 4-0 Whickham, Saturday 4th September 2021

Ashington 4-0 Whickham Town, Northern League Division 1, DWMedia Stadium (Woodhorn Lane), att. 336

My original plan today had been to cross the Pennines and go and see Workington at Brough Park. After all, how many former football league grounds are left, still in use? Not many outside the National League, I venture. Another possibility had been Hereford United; I could have gone on local side Spennymoor’s supporters coach. Unfortunately, caring duties ruled this one out, too early a start and too late a finish. But Workington? However, I’d not banked on the cat refusing to come back in, so time lost meant I’d be struggling for kick-off, and I didn’t want to risk traffic problems on a road heading towards the Lake District. It called for a Plan B.

I double-checked the Northern League fixtures, and plumped for Ashington, the northern most outpost of the Northern League. Being an hour away from home and the other side of Newcastle, it could be a mission in midweek. Let’s take it easy, cruise up the A68 through the North Pennines and perhaps pick up a bite to eat in Ashington town centre. I pulled up at a service station near Ashington – it was half-two! The Gods were smiling though, as it included a Greggs; I went double: steak bake AND sausage roll.

Ashington have a long and rich heritage, formed in 1883 and past members of the Football League in the 1920s. After bouncing around various leagues afterwards, Ashington joined the Northern League in 1970 and have successfully failed to win it ever since (though they do have a couple of second division championships). At present they lie top half and have the added advantage of the 3rd highest average crowd (the programme told me). Today the attendance was 336…below the Colliers’ 400 average, but still well above the usual Northern League gate.

Ashington’s ground is one of those newbuilds on the edge of town (see also: Bishop Auckland, Consett). Handy for getting in and out, plus they’ve a massive car park. Worrying signs about pay and display were assuaged…it was free on matchday. Joining the 21st century, you can also pay by card on Ashington’s turnstiles. £7 is at the top end of Northern League admission charges, but you enjoy superb facilities and view from the Main Stand, allegedly the 2nd most expensive stand per seat until Arsenal’s Emirates came along. At the top/back is a large social club overlooking the pitch, a la Dulwich Hamlet. The bar might not be so big, nor contain quite the number of craft ales, but I couldn’t resist having a Goose Island IPA. Perfect for taking my seat with.

Sitting at the back of the stand affords a great view of the pitch and stadium. Opposite, a small stand spans the length of the pitch, 4 rows of seats in the middle, with terracing either side, smartly painted in the club’s colours of black and white. Both ends were enclosed by wooden fences, with ballboys swinging off the nets and barrier at one end, while a dozen or so fans viewed from the car park end. Inbetween this end and the Main Stand were 6 or so picnic tables. A lovely perch for a beer on a temperate day like this.

The football? Well, a rather bizarre 4-0 drubbing. Whickham, controlling most of the ball, were let down by some atrocious defending to find themselves three down after 24 minutes, which increased just before half-time. Game over. Was the best goal the 30 yard opener into the roof of the net, which left the keeper flailing? Or the control and sidefoot off the far post? Both were avoidable from a defensive angle (to the frustration of the Whickham fan to my right). And, despite no more goals in the second half, the chant at full time from the Main Stand of ‘Can we play you every week?’ rang true.

The Damage:
£7 ent
£1.50 programme
£3.80 Goose Island IPA
= £12.30

The Tunes:
BBC6 Music (Marc Riley / Gideon Coe)
Ghosteen (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds)

Newcastle University 3-1 Washington, Thursday 2nd September 2021

Newcastle University 3-1 Washington, Northern League Division 2, Kimberley Park, att. 49

Ground #10 in my quest to see all 40 Northern League grounds in a season, and it’s a return to Kimberley Park on a Thursday night. (Top Northern League groundhopping tip: Newcastle Uni, Easington and Esh Winning tend to play midweek games on a THURSDAY night.) The only ground I know named after a firm who make sanitary products, Kimberley used to be a big local employer. And it’s a nice name for a football ground. Unfortunately, Prudhoe Town FC are now defunct, and it’d be a shame to waste a good ground, so now it’s the home of Newcastle University FC, 11 miles or so away.

And what a great way of enticing sporty students to come to Newcastle – the chance to play in the Northern League, against ‘proper’ teams, rather than college opposition. Tonite would be the turn of Washington, 2nd off bottom and struggling. Surely an easy win for the students? Well, not quite. Despite dominating possession and chances, the Uni were one down at half time when a hopeful long ball resulted in the centre half and keeper colliding, leaving an open net. You just don’t see this type of goal often enough at professional level.

2nd half was proper one-way traffic, and it’s to Washy’s credit that they put bodies on the line (literally: one of the Uni’s shots came off a defender lying prostrate). Time and time again attacks came to nothing as Washington defended in numbers. On the occasion a ball was cleared to a Washy forward, it came straight back. Wing backs on the overlap were always free, but somehow the final ball kept eluding the Uni forwards. Then, into the last 10 minutes, a low (mishit?) corner cannoned off possibly someone’s shin and flew through the crowd into the bottom corner. The Washy levy had broken, and 2 quick goals followed. I had to feel for them.

Before the equaliser, the Uni lads were becoming fraught, especially the assistant coach who traded a few choice words with the Washy centre half and captain. The away side were also racking up the bookings. It was all a bit feisty and I was loving it. The constant near misses only stoked my hope that the strugglers would hold out, but it was not to be.

A pity the crowd was so low as well (49). Not quite a seasonal record (the forlorn Durham City, sharing at Willington, had an earlier crowd of 43) but unsurprising, given the Uni’s own ‘traveller’ status. There were problies 20 more in the adjacent social club, and afterwards I noticed they had a match on. I got home to discover England were playing. I’d sooner be at Kimberley Park, with its stand several metres from the pitch, a small terrace at the entrance (again, several metres from the pitch) and a few chairs and tables underneath a propped cover. They even have a refreshment hatch, presumably shared with the social club, offering chips amongst other fayre. Not bad when there’s hardly a soul here!

The Damage:
£5 ent
£1
= £6

The Tunes:
BBC6 Music (Steve Lamacq / Marc Riley / Gideon Coe)

Sunderland West End 4-0 Boldon CA, Wednesday 1st September 2021

Sunderland West End 4-2 Boldon CA, Northern League Division 2, Ford Sports Hub, att. 120

An almost blast from my childhood today as I ventured to Sunderland West End. Turns out it’s near to the rundown suburb of Pennywell, where I had my first drag of a cigarette a week before my tenth birthday. It was my worldly-wise cousin’s 12th birthday and he was a hardened smoker already. It was Halloween, 1983, and we carried our lamps (made from turnips) around the estate, as we asked ‘Penny for Halloween?’ Basically, legalised begging, which has since evolved into the industry that is ‘trick or treat?’ We made four pence between the seven of us. I said the area was rundown.

The Ford Quarry Hub is the opposite, a smart, new sporting complex encompassing a leisure centre and 3 3G pitches, the main one of which is West’s home. Enclosed and floodlit, it’s like a larger version of an outdoor 5 aside venue. I’d expected as much. Seating was provided by two 50-seater stands identical to those I saw at Redcar Athletic the other week. 4 rows of 6 seats either side of steps, with two additional seats on the 4th row, at the top of the steps. A very handy (cheap) design for any club needing to up their seating quota to attain league membership.

Sunderland West End are a Northern League second division team from….you guessed it…the west end of Sunderland. They’ve a brief history, forming in their current guise in 2011, playing up through the Wearside League and gaining promotion to the Northern League after coming 2nd in 2018-19. Tonight, 8 games in, they’re amongst the leaders in division 2 and face a local derby against Boldon CA, a few miles north. Certainly, the crowd appeared boosted by a few travelling away fans.

Otherwise, there’s not a lot to distract the eye. No covered standing, and you have to access the ground through the leisure centre behind one goal. Initially, the lady on reception was demanding QR codes (that pesky Coronavirus again) but establishing that nobody in the queue had one, she let us in anyway, telling us we’d better have one for next time or we’re not getting in. That’s ok, I can’t see myself returning.

Once through the leisure centre, there’s a large mesh fence and the turnstiles. Save yourself a fiver and watch from here! There’s also a large café-bar at this end, handy for Sky Sports if the entertainment on the pitch isn’t up to scratch. I paid my fiver and entered. Hurrah! One team is playing in the red and white stripes of Sunderland. Please tell me it’s West End, following the local habit of playing in the colours of the local professional ‘giants’ (see also: Seaham Red Star and one of the Ryhope teams). It was.

I was intrigued by the West End #5…he looked older than me. So he ran everything from centre half/sweeper. Although not fast, he look assured, could pass, and was never flustered unlike his colleagues. He also never stopped telling his teammates what to do. Is he an ex-professional? (Sort of. Keith Graydon, 38 years old and formerly of Gateshead and Ireland Under 20s, amongst others.) He doesn’t look a day under 50, but a class act on the pitch.

The game was a cracker, 4-2, including the killer 4th from the halfway line, as the Boldon keeper went pushed up to be a Manuel Neuer-esque sweeper-keeper. Problem was, no-one told his teammates who cheaply lost it. Still, it’s not easy punting a ball 50 yards, never mind getting it on target. There were still 20 minutes left, so no excuses for the keeper, though his side still couldn’t get back into the game when West End had a man sent off for a bad challenge. The scorer had earlier had an on-field argument with Graydon…’you’re telling me to do one thing and the manager another.’ I can understand his problem, but I don’t think either had told him to lose the ball cheaply, which he had been doing till then.

2nd half, I’d been standing behind the goal at the leisure centre end after a half time cuppa (served by the lady who’d earlier been in reception). Sadly, I couldn’t walk around the 4th touchline, which was kept for the dugouts and spare goalposts, though I was ‘lucky’ enough to hear a father telling his son he was ‘a f***ing pouf.’ I know not what said offspring had done to deserve his moniker.

The Damage:
£5 ent
£1.40 tea
= £6.40

The Tunes:
BBC6 Music (Marc Riley / Gideon Coe)