AFC Blackpool 3-0 Holker Old Boys, Saturday 28th February 2026

AFC Blackpool 3-0 Holker Old Boys, North West Counties League First Division North, Mechanics Ground, att. 410

It’s the final game of the day for the Saturday of the North West Counties League groundhop and it’s only a 5 minute walk from the previous game at Squires Gate. It’s almost like they planned these things! As luck would also have it, I’ve parked my car inbetween the two, which is handy for my mate Stu. He’s a little cold and wants to don his big coat.

At Squires Gate, I asked another groundhopper where AFC Blackpool was. He pointed towards some houses. ‘You can see the floodlights!’ That was handy, as it meant no rush, so while most of the groundhoppers made their way over, we watched a bit of Der Klassiker in the social club. (Well, it beat watching Dirty Leeds – Man City.)

I was worried about crowd numbers at AFC. Would fans have had enough and be drifting home after 3 matches already? There were certainly fewer, but 410 was a more than respectable attendance for a Satdy nite 10th tier game. The social club was a lot pokier than Squires Gate however, and the queue was out the door for food and warm drinks. Stu would have to come back for our tea. Last season’s shirts were a bargain tenner a pop, but I just couldn’t ever foresee myself needing to wear a tangerine AFC Blackpool shirt, other than to point out to bemused folk that it wasn’t Blackpool FC, but AFC Blackpool.

The name of the ground intrigued me. ‘The Mechanics Ground.’ Wasn’t there a side called Blackpool Mechanics? Indeed there was. Inside the entrance to the social club, a display case showed off various trophies and other paraphernalia linked to Mechanics. Had they gone bust? A bit of digging found that no, they’d simply re-named themselves ‘AFC Blackpool’ in 2008. Much more prosaic and less romantic.

The small seated stand beside the social club was busy, but I spied the stand behind the goal. It looked a higher vantage point and it’d be cosy (warmer) under the roof. We bumped into Nathaniel, again, the Hednesford groundhopper. ‘Have you noticed anything?’ he asks. No. ‘Look up.’ There was no roof. So much for cosy. The stand had sides, a fascia, a back, stanchions, but no roof. Still, we stayed, as the home side were attacking (and scoring) at this end. 2 nil after 15 minutes.

Stu brought me a tea, then we went for a wander. The long side to our right had the most spectators. A small stand with a couple of steps straddled the halfway line. There was another covered stand behind the goal, but this was virtually empty save for a couple of lads on drums, making up songs to their hearts’ content. Indeed, there were more drums than they had ensemble, perched on chairs. Good on ‘em, even if no-one else wanted to join them.

Half-time arrived, the home side still being 2 goals ahead. I knew Stu was chilly, and although I faced a drive of over an hour, he’d have another hour drive after that. ‘Shall we call it a day?’ It was up to me. We’d done our stint, had a most enjoyable day, but I didn’t expect we’d miss much if we were to go home.

Thanks, North-West Counties Football League, and thanks GroundhoppersUK.

The Damage:
£6 ent
£2 prog...and a very sparse offering at that. Talk about punting one out just cos the groundhoppers are in town!
= £8

BFC 0-1 Wycombe Wanderers, Tuesday 3rd March 2026

’I live for the day he’s man of the match. He’s F***ING SH*T.’

I was walking down Grove Street after the game last nite when I saw a bloke with a white stick, arm in arm with another bloke. Behind him was another bloke using a white stick. It was the blind leading the blind, an apt metaphor for the game, I thought. Coach Conor, Wycombe having bossed the opening half, makes ZERO changes at half-time. We’re under the cosh again in the second half. ‘We’ve got to make changes’ texts B. Haigh of Lanzarote. ‘He will wait till they score’ replies Farnham. He waits till they score. Then subs the left footed left back for a right footer (Ogbeta hauled for O’Keeffe). We go on to win 3-1.

Of course, that’s in a parallel universe frequented by a coach with more skillz than Hourihane. If his golden foursome up front don’t bag, there is no Plan B. Sorry, there IS a Plan B (from Outer Space)…give it a few minutes, then swap O’Keeffe and right back Watson around, so we still have a right-footed defender (I use the term loosely) playing left back. It obviously confused me, cos when Watson put a delicious ball across our box for THEM to be clean through, I mistook him for O’Keeffe (who has previous for this offence). Well, they both have a ‘7’ on the back of their shirts.

It’s ok tho, cos Crapman has been behind the scenes on ‘Stars in their Eyes’ (look it up, kids) and has come out tonite as something approaching a goalkeeper. He runs out and saves, and together with a few catches and keeping the ball on the pitch in his hoofs, is given the official MOTM. (The Ponty disagree, finally clearing their throats for a couple of ‘Woooah…David McGoldrick’ chants.)

McGoldrick. Honestly, is this the future without POTY Kelly? Cleary marked out of it by 2 opponents, it’s left to McG to take it to Wycombe, going on 2 or 3 runs where he seemingly takes on half their side. Sadly, the only shot he gets off was a cut inside in the first half which curls harmlessly wide. It’s ok though, there’ll be another shot soon. (No there won’t.)

Phillips is generally anonymous, though I notice one of Coach Conor’s tactics is the ball over the top for a Phillips darting run. But the ball is either comfortably headed away, or runs through to the keeper. Banks looks promising early on, but between him and Watson it turns into a sh*tshow defensively. And that’s it from our ‘attacking players’. This includes half an hour of classic invisibility from Bradshaw (on for Banks), though Yoganathan almost offers hope for the last 15 (replacing Phillips). At least you notice Yoganathan, though I’ve yet to decide whether that’s cos he’s 6 foot 4 and has an amazing mop of hair, or cos he’s any good. ‘Better than the rest’ does not mean good. Not tonite.

That leaves 6 (6!) ostensibly defensive-minded players (plus a goalkeeper). And for a time, I started believing the elusive clean sheet would come. MdG first half, and O’Connell the second, looked strong. Certainly stronger than anything else we’ve seen this season. MdG reads the game and when Wycombe put the ball forward, simply steps out from behind the striker, intercepts it, and plays the ball to a red shirt. Imagine. (Sometimes even FORWARD!) Suspend your disbelief. O’Connell meantime made two super blocks to prevent certain Chairboys’ goals. (Beaten by ‘Chairboys’. Can it get any worse?) And the fullbacks won’t be as bad as the first half...will they?

Then there’s the dynamic duo in midfield. Captain Marvel and the GOAT. The GOAT’s PR team appear to be on sabbatical, cos I’m reading quite a few negative comments ‘on socials’ these days. Do these people have no idea? How do you criticize a player who rarely leaves the centre circle, can’t pass a ball forward, and constantly loses his man? The goal is a case in point. Watson has pushed up, marking another Wanderer, while a different wanderer wanders away from Bland and is free down their left. The cross is slightly deflected, which bamboozles Captain Marvel (not difficult) and a 3rd Wanderer lashes it into the top corner from the edge of the box. Otherwise the GOAT’s one attempt at emulating POTY Kelly in running forward and passing the ball ends up with it being overhit for Cleary. (I’m still trying to digest how Kelly has critics for not being able to fire it into the top corner after bursting past several opponents, getting to the edge of their box, then laying it off to a red. Yes, I mean you, P. Waddington.)

Where was I? I’m dizzier than a rascal. Captain Marvel. One advantage of hanging out with Darrell, pre-match (and half-time, and full-time) is that I don’t need to say owt about Luca, Darrell says it for me. And my silence only makes him rant more, as he thinks I’m a fan. It’s beautiful. Tonite, El Capitan is lucky not to give away a penalty as he drags a Chairboy to the floor on the backpost, with half-time looming. It’s funny, but I never hear the Jonesys (Jonesies?) and Farnhams of this world complain about the ref when they fail to give a blatant penalty to the opposition. (Maybe it would have woken Coach Conor up, going into the interval a goal down. Or maybe not.) Otherwise, he does what Connell does. Slows it down, kicks it square, makes no runs (with the ball), hit and hope longballs, gentle dinks for deadballs. If it wasn’t for his pal the GOAT next to him, I’d say he was one of the most limited players I’ve seen since…Herbie Kane? That’s it! He’s just a skinny Herbie Kane. (I’ll work on the exact wording of the chant.)

The pair of them together? CRAP.

Onwards and upwards!

*** Crapman. Top 3 is really tough. I think you could juggle any of McG, MdG, O’Connell and Crapman, in any order whatsoever. But given his trials and tribulations, I’ll give it to Crapman. Didn’t put a hand or foot wrong, and had no chance with the goal.
** McGoldrick. How comes grandad can run, but the whippersnappers CAN’T? Our only hope.
* MdG. Woulda been my MOTM but for a couple of ‘head like a 50 pence piece’ clearances in the 2nd half. But it’s nice to have a footballer at centre half.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGoldrick 2. MdG 3. Goodman

Despatches:
I read somewhere that we were bound to mess up tonite cos ‘we’d not won 2 games in a row all season’. That’s quite impressive, considering I know we won 3 and drew 1 of our opening 4 games. But we are consistently inconsistent, I’ll give us that. Still, if we win our 3 games in hand...etc etc

As for Lynne describing it as ‘Directionless, Clueless, Rudderless, Spineless...Just like our politicians’...it got me thinking. Would she prefer a centre back partnership of The Donald and Our Nige? Though Putin is a renowned left footer, and Coach Conor prefers a bit of balance in the middle (if not the outer edges of the party...sorry, team). Sadly, whichever Kim is in charge of North Korea this week is unavailable, due to injury. ‘Carrying too much timber’ said a club doctor.

Drink du jour: Vocation Krush Hour at Heaven and Ale.

Away: 194 (8,608). Most remarkable for ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ chant before we’d even kicked off. They were as quiet as us after that, as befitted our lowest crowd of the season (lge only).

The Damage:
£7 petrol
= £7

Huddersfield Town 2-1 BFC, Saturday 21st February 2026

’He’s a f***ing billionaire, the ba*tard.’

Coach Conor has been in charge of the Super Reds 50 games now. 100 conceded. That’s 2 a game. Even accounting for the odd clean sheet, other games make up for it. Whatthehell is the matter with our defence? Don’t ask Adie Moses, on co-comms for Radio Sheffield, asked for his thoughts on Praise or Grumble. I’d have to question the logic of employing a former centre half as a pundit on his former team(s) if he can’t put his finger on what’s wrong. ‘Even when we’re in control and in no danger we manage to concede 2’. (I paraphrase. I’m not going back to listen to it again.) But that’s it. Even in a game where we’re under little pressure, we concede another 2 and chuck away a 1st half lead (AGAIN. But that’s another topic).

Hang on tho, didn’t Coach Conor lay out his cards at the start of the season? We’re going 4-4-2, none of that 3-5-2, all wingbacks and pointless extra centre halves (cos they couldn’t stop conceding either). No, we’ll shore up the fullback positions. And it looked ok early on, Watson at right back, Ogbeta left. 10 pts in the opening 4 games, and we’re a McGoldrick chance away from taking the lead at Wimbledon in the 5th. Then the defensive rot set in.

Fast forward 6 months. O’Keeffe, who can’t defend, has been sent back from his loan spell at Stockport and is now right fullback in a 442. Today’s lamb to the slaughter at left back was Gent…who gets done twice in the opening 10 minutes and is eventually hauled for a right back (Watson) who covers himself in no glory at all when he comes on. Then there’s the central two. So much for adding experience and organizational skills. The hapless Roberts has been dropped again (for O’Connell). The Kitchen Fitter gets his usual appearance though, and if I was dropping anybody, I’d start with him.

Their equaliser, a gentle chip into what I will call the Bermuda Triangle (that area inbetwixt the keeper and 2 centre halves, where the ball disappears in terms of our defence). A Terrier runs on and has an unopposed header into our goal from 6 yards out, middle of the goal. A couple of things here, Adie. 1. When the cross is chipped in, our keeper is closer to where the ball lands than their goalscorer and 2. Didzy (!?) is the one who doesn’t track the goalscorer. Oh, and 3. Shepherd and O’Connell are marking the same player (Note: not the goalscorer.) If one of this idiot pair (and this one’s on Shepherd, trotting up behind O’Connell to mark the same bod) held their position instead of getting sucked out of the Bermuda Triangle, the goal would could have been averted. So there’s 3 things that coulda been done better right there. Didzy tracks his man, the keeper comes out and claims, Shepherd stands his position. I’ll throw in a bonus 4th. Does O’Keeffe even TRY to stop the ball coming in? What do you think?

All that hard work, 1st half, gone in an instant. Of course there was only one winner form now on, and even then it wasn’t through constant Town pressure and brilliant creative play. No, we half clear our lines, but we leave TWO players free out on their right (Cleary having left his man). Kelly sprints over, but Watson is marking someone (‘Oh no he isn’t’ – see goalscorer). Shouldn’t he be leaving that player to his centre halves (who’re marking nobody, btw)? The ball is played out wide, knocked in low to the front post and it’s 2-1. So, Adie, are you telling me there’s nothing that can be improved upon from a defensive set-up? It is a horror show.

We endure another massive scare, Crapman coming off his line to claim a corner…and deflecting it into the mixer for a Terrier to turn goalwards, the shot coming off Crapman’s face before Kelly clears off the line. (I am using the benefit of a TV replay here, we couldn’t tell what was going on from the other end.) No wonder he doesn’t like to come out, he’s a calamity. We also survive a clean through after Captain Almost-as-Calamitous gives the ball away for them to break. Was Watson out of position? Only if he’s presuming Connell is going to pass it to a Reds player. (So, yes, out of position.)

I’d like to think I’m a solutions kinda guy (where’s that smiley face emoji?) so here’s a few quick fixes off the top of my head:

1. Send Crapman back. Flavell isn’t good enough either, but it’ll save a wage.
2. Invite defensive coach Keogh to find gainful employment elsewhere. Or stick him in with the juniors and promote someone from within. Cos he’s improving nothing.
3. Drop Shepherd. ‘For who though?’ Anybody. MdG would be my choice. I don’t care whether he can kick a ball with his left peg or not. (Luca Connell only has one foot, but it doesn’t stop him playing central midfield. Well, it does...ho ho.) And anyway, Coach Conor doesn’t mind right-footed players at left back…bloody hypocrite.
4. Put Watson at right back, Ogbeta at left back. If not Ogbeta, a traffic cone. Anybody but Watson, Gent or Earl. Who does that leave?

Let’s not forget the positives. We were the better side in the 1st half, had some promising attacks (McGoldrick scoring, as well as having one disallowed for offside). Shepherd headed over a corner. And the goal was SUMPTIOUS, McGoldrick cutting in from the left and curling it into the far top corner from the apex of the box. That’s his 12th, and he’s come into his own since we sold DKD (perennial Wrexham benchee). If only the transfer window was still open, we could sell Wrexham Didzy as well. Mind, one unintended consequence of selling DKD was that Huddersfield’s winner was scored by a bloke on loan from...Wrexham! (I wonder if we bothered trying to negotiate for a Wrexham forward as part of the DKD negotiations, since they’ve got a half a dozen of them doing nowt.)

Onwards and upwards!

*** McGoldrick. Another excellent game (save for the equalizer). Held ball up, found players, tracked back, made clearing headers.
** Kelly. 2nd half, I thought it was Kelly v Huddersfield, to be frank.
* Banks. I know he only played 1st half, but that could be said for virtually everyone.

Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. McGoldrick 2. Kelly 3. Banks

Despatches:
Has Crapman created history? Managing to lose both Reds-Hudds derby games in the same season, for different sides, is some achievement. And let’s not forget, he got sent off in the Oakwell edition (we still didn’t keep a clean sheet against 10 men). Where’s the Oakwell Historian when you need him? Dave? DAVE???

Pre-match, I hung out with the Galvins in Parish, Huddersfield’s premier alternative bar. Nice Guy Chris had a spare ticket, so I invited my neighbour, Nice Guy Dan. He enjoyed it. (He’s a Town fan.) ‘Come and have a beer with the Belgians after the match’ said Chris. I did. The Belgians didn’t – they’d found Man City-Newcastle tickets going at 25 quid and were off. Good on ‘em.

I also had the honour of joining the vocal Reds minority, as I was sort of kettled up the aisle when I got in and couldn’t find my row. ‘He left cos you’re s***, he left cos you’re s***, Owen Goodman, he left cos you’re s***.’ I was about to correct one of em (the one who asked if I was lost, as I desperately looked around to see if anyone wasn’t wearing Burberry) but I thought better of it. When I eventually found Wadd, he said the Hudds retorted ‘he left cos he’s s***’…etc That’s what I was gonna say! Further attempts at getting under the Terriers’ skin came back to bite as we heard ‘2-1 to the dog shaggers’. But by then the only chants we had were criticizing the board for being ‘greedy ba*tards’ (is it only 6 mill a year they’re putting in?) and calling for them to sell up. And then we boo the team off. (I’m getting de ja vous. Haven’t we been here before?)

Drink du jour: Vocation Krush Hour at Parish and the Kings Head (post match), Punch Drunk at Slaithwaite’s Sixth Fiend.

Away: 2,336 (19,052). Sellout away end. But why don’t they let us have the whole stand? The ground is 6,000 short of capacity. ‘We dunt want away fans’ a charmless man tells me outside.

The Damage:
£2 bus
£3.50 train
£25 ent
= £30.50