BFC 0-2 Brighton & Hove Albion, Saturday 18th February 2017

‘If we knock 'art Knockaert....’

Grove Street school, soon to be R.I.P.

Just been looking at our results this season, and since beating Rovrum 4-0 we have won 3 and lost 7 at home.  Thank goodness for away games!  This week, it was Brighton’s turn to do us over, but what can you do, when you match them toe to toe and you get done with lethal finishing, the like of which we haven’t got?  To be honest, it looked like a nil-nil all the way to me, till someone (MacDonald?) lost his man, Baldock, who flicked it up and hammered it on the half volley over the keeper from 20 yards.  Class.  Their second goal wasn’t bad either, if you ignore the bit where Hamill loses it on the halfway line.  They broke down our right, Yiadom was bamboozled by Knockaert, and a simple inside ball was tapped home.  Game over.

The view from pitchside.

We rarely threatened however. Marley hit a couple of efforts on target, but, otherwise, the best we could come up with was Hamill, on as sub.  He blazed over within a minute of coming on, then hit a 20 yarder into the chest of the keeper.  Later, he dribbled round 3 players and fizzed one just over the bar with his left.  Oh, and the ref certainly missed a chance to put us ahead.  Their left back definitely handled it, his arm even came up to knock the ball in the air.  Good job the ref has a linesman to help him.  Do they EVER award penalties these days?
Oh well, we tried.

Moncur dragged off, thank Christ.

*** James.  Confident on the ball and defensively solid.  A couple of times he put his foot on the ball, dragged it back, turned, and put us on the attack.  The very opposite of what Moncur was doing (more on him later).  Twitter MOTM.
** Roberts.  Another one who had to up his game to make up for his partner.  
* Watkins.  Started out wide, before put in the middle once Bradshaw got the curly finger.  Had our best 2 shots. 

Londontykes' MOTM:1. James  2. Roberts  3. Watkins

The Ponty

Despatches:
Davies had nowt to do, but caught a few crosses and kicked accurately.  Caught off his line for their 1^st, but what keeper wouldn’t have been?  Yiadom and Jones didn’t get forward as much as I’d hoped, adding to the lack of supply from Moncur in centre-mid.  Beckenham Chris thought we were all a bit harsh on Moncur, but he seemed the 1^st person on the lips of the Londontykes, who all agreed he looks p*** poor.  (Mind, Chris was less supportive once he’d heard Moncur was of a biblical-bent).  Only seems to go backwards.  I thought he was an ATTACKING player?  He even TURNS towards his own goal, before giving the slide rule 10 yard square pass.  He’s like a s*** Mitch Ward.  (And the original wasn’t very good.)  Bradshaw was anonymous, and while I accept the one Hamill missed was from a range Bradshaw normally bags from, I’m not sure he’d have been there to miss it.  Mowatt looked lively as a sub, and I presume he’ll be in the team soon.  And there was nothing to suggest Scowen won’t walk straight back in either, once he’s fit.  Oh, and I nearly forgot Kent.  No wonder.  And I’m sure Armstrong was in the team too.  It’s just a pity we can’t blame our lack of attacking thrust on a team content to stay in their own half.  Brighton came for the victory and just had that little bit of extra quality.

The Albion 1400.  At least they had fun.

Drink du jour: 4 pints pre-match, Brooklyn and Erdinger.  Enough to have me dozing off a few times 1^st half.  Or was it the football?  Vodka and orange and/or bourbon and coke later.  The bourbon wot killed Charles Bukowski, I was reliably told.  We are made of sterner stuff, however.

Away: 1,396.  The Andies slated Brighton for their lack of turn out (top of the league and all) but I thought it was a decent amount.  Woulda been 1,397 if the bloke we met on the train hadn’t spent the afternoon in Chennells (true).  'Sh'nells' he promounced it.

The Damage:
21 travel

Programmes?  You must be joking.  Had sold out before any of us got there.

Match action.

Reading 0-0 BFC, Saturday 11th February 2017

‘Jesus was born in 3000 BC’

Berkshire's new literacy policy is going well.

In summary, not as boring as Preston and better than Rovrum.  4 games in, post-Hourihane, and we’ve scored 2 goals (conceded 3).  And we really don’t look like we’ll score…and neither do we look like we’ll concede.  Keith Hill’s dream!  But we can be more than pleased with ourselves this week, as we really limited a side away who're gunning for automatic promotion.  Though if you read the press, you’d think we’d stifled THEM rather than vice versa.  Listen kids, we weren’t penned in our own half.  Far from it.  And perhaps if the Royals had thrown more men forward to break us down, we’d have been more adventurous ourselves.  Thus, our 2^nd goalless game in 2.  And last week I couldn’t remember when we’d last had a nil-nil!  (I worked it out….Wigan home, Burton away).  But we’ve gone from 2^nd top scorers in the league to 5^th in a handful of games.  Oh well – it was good while it lasted.

This is what the outside of a football stadium looks like.

Despite having to catch a ba5tard bus to the stadium, I always enjoy a trip to Reading.  Even better, the big pub by the station (Three Guineas?) has been refurbished, ready for our arrival.  So, naturally, they won’t let me, Reedy and Selwood in.  Something about no football colours, but if we’re willing to sit there with our coats on the whole time…no ta.  We quickly elect to part with our money at a hostelry who will appreciate us for what we are: yobs.  (We did wonder whether those wandering around the town centre in rugby shirts would be similarly accorded short shrift).  So we went across the road to…The Social (?) where football shirts were also barred, but there was no-one else there, so we had a warmer-upper while the technologically gifted looked up ‘craft pubs Reading’ on their whatchamacallit.  Greyfriars it was, and a cracking pub too.  The bus to the ground left from outside an’ all.  So why we left it to go to the appalling ‘paddy pub’ (that’s what the taxi driver called it) I’ll never know.  Something about food, but no-one ate and several pints couldn’t be finished, such was their awfulness.  

The best of customer service at Reading.

So, onwards to the arena.  4 quid return!  Christ on a bike.  In Germany, these things are free.  I’m sure it was £2.50 last time.  I mean, we only paid 12 quid for a return from London.  Not impressed.  Still, at least it gets you there.  And Reading really make the effort with away fans, signage everywhere making you feel at home in the stadium. 

Reading FC-embossed pie.  Very nice actually.

Did we win 3-1 last time we were here?  Fatboy Jennings and Noble-Lazarus bagging 25 yarders.  Well, it was very different this time as the only shot we had on target was a long range trickler from Marley.  He did, however, hit the post (and given how close he was, he’ll be kicking himself).  Later, Hamill blazed over with his left foot when he ought to have done better.  Them?  No idea.  I think Davies made one decent save, that was it.

Reading beach.

*** MacDonald.  I read in the programme he was on Reading’s books as a junior.  An added incentive to play out of his skin then.  Dominated. 

** Roberts.   Where there’s one, there’s the other one.  No wonder Reading barely had a shot.

* Hammill.  Go on then.  Wadd can’t argue, cos he wasn’t there!  Frustrated Reading.

Londontykes MOTM:1. MacDonald   2. Hamill   3. Roberts

Despatches:
Scowen was excellent, till he was subbed, injured.  This gave Moncur the best part of the 2^nd half to impress.  He didn’t.  Seems to specialise in taking too long to make a pass, and getting it nicked from under him.  Like ‘Dangerous’ Brian O’Callaghan used to do – ‘cept in midfield.  Bradshaw looked alright.  I feel sorry for him tho. Imagine what he’d do with a SUPPLY.  I was also impressed with Williams’ workrate, while it was great to see Yiadom back.  Jones also impressed at right back.

Flattening out the mud at full time.

Drink du jour: just beer.  Then another one back in Paddington, before falling asleep near the end of Mark Watson’s set at the Old Vic.  I can sleep anywhere…

Away: 700 and odd.  Poor atmosphere all round.  Seems those January transfers have really knocked the stuffing out of the fans.  And you needn’t bother waiting for the Royals to be roused.

Onwards and upwards!

The Damage:12 train4 bus20 ent3 prog3+ steak and ale pie, which was really rather good.= 42

The Tunes:
Mixmag June '15 - Jamie Jones
Mixmag Feb '15 - RL Grime

The teams line up.

Reading's hardcore.

Clever design.

Hecky.  Still one of our own.

Yours truly, courtesy of BFC twitter feed.

Full time.  Job well done.

BFC 0-0 Preston North End, Saturday 4th February 2017

‘Are you vegetarian as well?  Since you met Tara or before?'

Grove Street school facing demolition.

I’ve seen the future.  If by ‘future’ I mean ‘the rest of the season’.  We spend 90 minutes doing nothing much, with half a team of loanees, against another team who’re not doing much.  Well, it will be how games go at Oakwell against teams with limited ambition.  I expect we’ll get slammed by the rest.

The stadium of earthly delight.

As Wadd so wittingly said, these teams could have played for days and not eked out a goal.  True, Bradshaw had one cleared off the line on the backpost (he was dragged off seconds later; wonder what Hecky woulda done had he scored?) while Davies tipped over a Preston header late on.  A shame that Armstrong’s ingenuity wasn’t rewarded, a 35 yard lob went narrowly wide.  Just as it was a shame that Preston weren’t awarded a nailed-on penalty in the 1^st half, as one of our centre halves shoved their player over.  Perhaps if they’d have bagged from the resultant pen, we’d have seen something approaching a football match.

The Nobenders (they're alright, really)

As it was, both teams cancelled each out.  This was in no small part to the mop-haired little fella in their midfield, Ben Pearson, formerly of this parish.  Castigated by most other Londontykes, and I can understand why; no, not the moaning, the fouling…but the way he was head and shoulders the best player on the pitch.  Everywhere the ball dropped, it dropped to him.  Every pass he made, it went to Preston.  And I could but admire the way he won 2 tackles in quick succession, 2^nd half.  As the PNE fans in the pub said: opposition fans hate him, we love him.

MOTM Pearson gets a seeing to.

*** Pearson Davies.  Saved the day with a last minute save having had nought to do. 
** Scowen.  Twitter MOTM.  Ran around a bit.
* No-one.  Nobody else did owt.

Londontykes Top 3:
1. Scowen  2. James  3. Roberts

Despatches:
Kent’s deadball distribution was terrible early doors.  Then another in-swinger was so bad he nearly scored on the front post, the keeper scrambling across.  5 loanees played (6 inc Hedges, if he’s on loan).  Oh well.  ‘But we’ve had to sell…..’ blah blah.  Oh, and my dad’s bought a new car, so having missed a couple of home games he was back for THAT.  Then some pr*ck in the car park broke one of his wing mirrors, probably in the scramble for the gates (while he was in the club shop).  So I could have had a worse day.

Onwards and upwards!

Preston panorama (courtesy of P. Hicks esq.)

Drink du jour: Brooklyn in the Arcade, Erdinger in #7, wheat beer in Tap, vodka and orange on t’train, unfiltered something in St. Pancras.  Sounds like quite a pub crawl when I read it back…

Away: 1261.  They were almost as quiet as us.  But I did hear them ask ‘Is this a library?’ which summed up the mood entirely.

The Damage:23 train

The Tunes:
Total Life Forever (Foals)
Friendly Fires (Friendly Fires)

Some shadowy figures...

The programme seller.

Welcome to ....

The Ponty v Preston

Match action

Home time.

Rotherham United 0-1 BFC, Saturday 28th January 2017

‘Is there a fire drill?’

Carrie Fisher, R.I.P.  (Artwork in Peckham)

For some reason I didn’t feel as elated as usual after yesterday’s game. Was it victory fatigue?  Am I tired of seeing us win?  Was it the losing of 2 key players this week?  Was it the general awfulness of the match?  I dunno. Maybe it was just that I’ve had a sore throat all week and decided not to join in any chants, though the atmosphere was strangely muted for the most part anyway.

Welcome to ....

Actually, maybe it was having to visit two Argoses (Argo?  Argi?) in one day, in the hunt for cheap headphones.  Still, gave me an excuse to see Rotherham City Centre for the first time.  Not as bad as I expected, and certainly a bigger choice of headphones than Walworth Road Argos.  Henceforward, I returned to a limited (in number) Londontykes crew in the Bridge Inn.  Cracking boozer for pre-match football, full of Reds fans and covered in obscure scarves.  Apparently ‘well rough’ any other time (Barnsley’s premier ale salesman).

The Bridge: home of some very interesting scarves.

Still, a pleasant enough walk from there along the river (or is it a canal?) to the New York Stadium, home of the Merry Millers.  And for a new stadium, I think it’s great.  Although we were towards one corner, the steepness of the tier ensures a great view, which was almost a shame considering the fayre on offer yesterday.

If you squint, you'll see the Millmoor floodlights in the distance.  Or not.

The teams come out and we have a new HUGE BLOKE in midfield, Leicester’s (Matty?) James.  He is MASSIVE.  Thus, he’s not the quickest, nor did he look especially impressive on the ball, but he won tackles and headers. In fact, there were so many games of head tennis it was a novelty to see the ball on the floor.  But there were misplaced passes here, there and everywhere.  Of course, we shouldn’t have expected anything less, having lost Hourihane and Bree.  A team can’t gel just like that.  It’s just a good job we were playing Rovrum, without doubt the worst team in this division. 

The teams come out.  Love the roof.

Rovrum it was who threatened early tho, a break ending in a decent chance blocked. ‘HANDBALL!’ their fans cried.  But Mike Dean isn’t here this week.  And decisions generally go towards the bigger club and, for one week only, WE are that bigger club.  Not that I thought it was a penalty anyway.

Otherwise, we miss THE golden opportunity of the half; Armstrong is played through from the right, timing his run in from the left to perfection; all he has to do is get it on target, the keeper is in no-man’s land.  It clears the keeper and clips the bar.  On the train, I lost the chance of making a fiver, as Andy is convinced it was Bradshaw.  After my Roberts/McDonald debacle the other week, I’m no longer sure who our players are and I miss my chance.

The Barnsley hordes.

If I thought the 1^st half was poor, the second half was worse.  Barely a pass put together, and Armstrong was as surprised as anyone when it broke to him in the box, on his favoured left foot….only for him to strike the side-netting.  Someone put him out of his misery.  Luckily, Hecky knows better and minutes later Kent splits the defence with a great pass and Armstrong is through again.  He elects not to put his foot through it, seemingly intent on just getting it on target.  Despite the lack of power, it somehow goes through the keeper.  Worst I’ve seen us all season and we’re winning!

Even the floodlights are sexy in Rotherham.

Thereafter, I thought we were the likelier to score.  Marley remembered he was Marley and we constantly broke 3 on 3.  Unfortunately, Hecky held Hamill back in reserve, taking pity on the Millers (note to P: the Rovrum coach had Hamill in his all time best XI of players he’s coached).  Still, Hamill was given the last 3 mins plus injury time to wind the clock down in the corner. This is fast becoming his role in the team, and he does it jolly well.  Last seen being last Red off the pitch, milking the ‘Adam Hamill is a red’ chants and hoping Hecky was listening.

'He's one of our own...'

*** Davies.  Ok, not a lot to do, but 4 decent saves, and excellent handling.  Threw a couple off the pitch, but I blame the recipients (White daydreaming and Kent allowing one to go under his foot).

** Scowen.  Just as Josh misplaced a pass, 2^nd half, I heard this bloke behind shout how awful he’d been all match.  I’d just been thinking the opposite.  Despite losing the odd ball, he put in the proverbial shift, got the tackles in and broke with the ball.

* MacDonald.  Now I’m just guessing.  Rovrum looked dangerous initially from the ball over the top, so someone must have dealt with it.  Probably a centre half.  Probably MacDonald.

Full-time.  You Reds!!!!!!!!!

Despatches:
White was again worrying at left back, despite a decent tackle 2^nd half.  Maybe he’ll not be himself till he’s double-teamed with his best pal Adam?  Callum Evans came on for the last half an hour and I was impressed.  Tho I was impressed with a young defender at Walsall 2 years ago and he’s never been seen since.  (Centre half…wotshisname..last seen on loan to Braintree?)  The Everton bloke looks solid.  Kent had another of his games before he set up the winner, while Armstrong had another of his games before he notched.  These 2 flatter to deceive and need to improve if we’re not to miss our outgoings.  Bradshaw worked hard, but I’m not sure the supply was there for him.

Further good fortune today, as non-league Lincoln turned over Brighton in the cup.  This was a ‘reight result’ considering we’d already bought our train tickets for the Brighton home game…on FA Cup 5^th round day.

Also, hilariously, while the away support taunted the homesters’ early leaving with ‘Is there a fire drill, is there a fire drill?’, there really was a later drill, as the players apparently had to leave the stadium still in their kit cos of a suspect package.  Life imitating art or what?

Rovrum v Barnsley panorama

Drink du jour: A pint of Amstel in the Bridge and spiced rum and ginger ale on the homeward bound.  For a change, like.  We were even joined by a Blue Peter presenter nursing an injury from being squished by a female American footballer earlier.  She was grateful for our ice, possibly less so for my views of Blue Peter. 

Away: 2,601.  A sell out, and their highest away crowd of the season (according to their programme).  I learnt something else from their programme too…we have sold a ridiculous number of pairs of our home stripey socks.  Which explains why I can’t get a pair.

The Damage:
20 train
23 ent
3 prog
= £46

The Tunes:
Total Life Forever (Foals)
Friendly Fires (Friendly Fires)

Before the fire drill...

...and after.  Match still going on.

The Family Stand

..and under the lights.

and at full time.  See you next season?

Me watching them watching us.

BFC 3-2 Dirty Leeds, Saturday 21st January 2017

‘Hot tubs for Oakwell!’

Heaven is but a few steps away...

You f***ing Reds!  What a game, what a team.  Rumours of our demise have been greatly exaggerated.  So what if Villa want Hourihane and Bree? So what if Burnley want Roberts?  So what if you can argue a case for Davies, McDonald, Scowen or Watkins leaving?  So what if Sammy Winnall (Winnowt, courtesy of Redfearns) has signed for adorable local pub side ‘Sheffield Wednesday’ (ridiculous name)?  

Super Sammy Winnowt.  Dead to us.

Tonite it’s the turn of Dirty Leeds.  And my first wonderment is in the kick off time. Every year (seemingly) we’re forced to play against Washday or the Blunts at HOME, it’s virtually a midday KO.  So against DL, live on STV (Sky, rather than Scottish, Television) it’s 17:30.  Enough time for both sides to get outrageously drunk and up for a fight.  We arrive early to Barnsley and take up the offer of meat and potato pie and mushy peas (with sides of onion and gravy, as opposed to onion gravy) at Chez Jones.  I bet they regret the offer of last week.  For future invitations, you can’t go too far wrong if you offer me pie and peas, followed by rhubarb and custard (nana na naaaa, nana na naaaaa, na na na na naaaaa).  Just saying.  (FYI, that was meant to be the tune to kids TV show Rhubarb and Custard.)

Those loveable huggables L**ds must be in town.

After weeks of speculation, my mate lets me down and I have a spare train and season ticket.  So, after telling one interested party to f*** off, it's taken (I was more polite than that, but I might as well have done), what could be simpler than 'Meet me outside the club shop between 17:15-17:20 for a half five kick off?'  Well, obviously, it’s too much for one Reds fan, whose perspective on where to meet involves the steps outside Redfearns.  I realise this is all my fault:  ‘outside the club shop’ involves 99.999999999999999% of the known universe.  But I am majorly annoyed, given I had to tell someone else the ST was taken. Needless to say, I am doing nowt ever again for the tw*t who let me down.  He has f***ing annoyed me enough and thus why I am putting it in writing.

The teams come out.

So I had the pleasure of sitting in the Ponty myself.  The advantages of not having to sit in the East lower, courtesy of an immobile father, suited me fine (though he was mobile enough to write his car off in the fog, so he’s stranded in County Durham till he buys a new car).  Master Jones invited me to sit with him, meaning I was in the right hand side (looking at the pitch) where the atmosphere is - as opposed to those on the left who sit on their hands moaning at Hammill not scoring every 5 minutes (you know who you are).  It was buzzing.

Toby whips up the crowd.

And after half an hour or so of relative pressure from us…we get done on the break.  Having survived a 3 on 2, we breathe the sigh of relief of a corner, only for ex-Reds loanee Chris Wood to bundle home from the resultant cross.  Howthehell do you let a big burly bloke with c18 goals this season, trundle one in off his shin?  Well, McDonald’s failure to mark and our (Heckingbottom’s?) unwillingness to stick a man on the post were big parts.  Poor, Barnsley, very poor.

The old Main Stand.

This is the cue for all hell to break loose.  I ‘m not quite sure myself how many fights suddenly broke out (Dirty Leeds in our ends) but while I’m intrigued by passion breaking out in the East Lower, a furore climbs up our own steps; some well built teenager is getting tw*tted from all angles as he staggers up towards the exit.  Thank God (for him) that A. Jones, schoolteacher, hardman, profferer of fair play, steps in between the punches to literally drag this kid up 10 steps and out the exit, for his own safety.  While stewards stand around wondering why they’re being paid, Andy tells a couple of them to pack this kid out of the ground before he’s taught exactly why a Dirty Leeds fan shouldn’t be in the Ponty.  

In the East Lower (Ponty End) a larger fight is breaking out, while Idiot Corner (away end/East Lower) waits for us to score before it kicks off.  Loko has missed a treat again.  (FYI, Andy is rightfully more p***ed off about the effect this has on one young girl whose father takes her out, in tears.)  I’m of different stock and of a different era and I don’t have kids; I remember the blood on the streets of Barnsley when Newcastle visited in 81/82 and I do remember shouting abuse at them even then (if you want to picture it, I must have been somewhere near Benj Harrals, while they were on the opposite side.  God, I hate ‘em.)  But I know Andy is right.  This is deplorable.  But I’m torn.  Let’s imagine this kid has a right to see a football match.  He still needs to know better than to be supporting DL from the Ponty.  And no he wasn’t ‘disabled’ as someone thought.  He was all over the place cos of the punches raining down on him.  I’ve been in the home end at Swillsborough.  And Burnley.  And Sunderland.  And Huddersfield.  That could have been any one of us. I don’t know how he got that far up the steps, but well done Andy, who was on the end of the row, and could make that difference.

Tempers flare in Idiot Corner.

Oh yes, there was a match.  DL push on and they nearly nick a second from another corner – the Everton loan guy this time standing on the line to clear (FYI: don’t listen to Waddington telling you it’s a waste of time having a man on the post).  At 0-2 we would be facing MAJOR SH*T.  So, as we contemplate hanging on for 0-1 at half time, up pops Bradshaw to nod in from an innocuous cross.  (Winnall woulda scored two from that)  We is very happy.  We’d have been even happier had a McDonald header from a corner a minute later been on target, but one-all, half-time, mustn’t grumble.  WE ARE IN THIS F***ING GAME.

2^nd half, and we’re winning 3-1 B4 you knows it (I’m down with the kids).  3 mins in and a cross ball to the left and Armstrong turns his man and hits it early with his left across former England uselessness Rob Green.  Only, no, it’s not Armstrong, it’s Kent.  Christ, he’s been hiding that for 5 months.  We try not to jump around and shout f*** off f*** off f*** off in the general direction of the away end.  We fail.

We all love Raymond Kent!

Another 5 ins or so and we have a free kick on the edge of the box.  Houri-Houri-Houri-hane lines one up, before knocking a short one and curling a beauty into the top corner from 20 yards.  Conor: your mission here is done.  You may leave with our best wishes and good luck on your future endeavours (as long as it’s not with Washday or DL).  It’s a corker.  To think, I still remember THAT free kick at Swindon a year or 2 ago, bobbling out of the exit as we slumped to yet another 3^rd division defeat.  Respect.

What happened next?  (Clue: it's a free kick from Hourihane.)

We are in danger of running riot at this point and someone realises this is not good for TV.  Leeds United are a major force in English football and really ought to be in the Premiership/Intergalactic Entrepreneurialship This Is All Ours League Two: a hopeful punt forward has one of theirs head the ball against Roberts.   ‘Handball’ cry the away end.  The ref is nigh on 40 yards away (I exaggerate: 35) but he can spot a deliberate attempt to stop a big team player scoring against Little Old Barnsley, from there. Penalty.  It becomes farcical when one considers it’s a) not even in the box and b) we’re being reffed by a ‘Premiership Referee’ (Mike Dean).  Wood slots again.  I still hate him.  (Wood.) Dean has allegedly been dropped to the Championship after some Premiership error or other.  So what division will he be in next week?  Conference North?

Penalty: C. Wood  Assist: M. Dean

(At this point in the report I went to the kitchen for food, only to find my two pockets full of what I presume were Quavers;  this might be f***ing hilarious to my travelling colleagues, but I really am adverse to cheese, and probably even more so to cheese substitute, which smells even worse.  Would you put meat in Selwood’s pocket (ooh-err)?  Would you desecrate our Muslim contingent by stuffing their pockets with pigs’ trotters?  You would? Ok, fair enough then.  Morons.)

We have half a half to brazen this one out.  And we manage it, with relative ease.  OK, the highlights will show Roofe putting it wide on the back post.  But they won’t show the break wot led to it: Kent beating 2 players before being tripped over, the ref turning around at the wrong moment to miss it, while the linesman is obviously under instruction not to give owt the ref doesn’t see (see earlier).  Nor the drive into the box from Armstrong which was met by a body check, rather than tackle, for a fortnight running.  Why is it not a foul if he’s small and quick?  About the only one the ref got right was when one of ours (Scowen?) got lumped into the box and he gave a free kick on the edge.  This isn’t the Premiership – it’s not where you LAND wot counts.

The Super Super Reds come to take their ovation.

*** Hourihane.  Whythehellnot? Official MOTM and a blinding free kick seems the perfect send off to me.  Here’s to you, Conor Hourihane, Barnsley loves you more than you will know…
** Bree.  Quick, take that 4 mill.  Do we have some kind of right back factory line down at t’Well?  (Stones,,,Holgate…Reece Brown  Bree)
* Kent.  Whythehellnot?  Didn’t think he had it in him.  Proved Hecky knows more than me and Andy combined.  (‘Why’s he not starting with Hamill?’)

Londontykes' MOTM:

1. Hourihane
2. Scowen
3. Kent
Despatches:
Them pie and peas at the Joneses.  I vote we change ALL our home kick offs to 5:30.  Cracking food, more drinking time, a buzzing (midweek) atmosphere under the lights.  Davies barely made a save, but kept his kicks on the pitch (why’s it always one or the other?).  McDonald was solid apart from the 1^st.  Roberts was awesome, esp 2^nd half.  The Everton bloke came in at left back (as predicted pre-match by yours truly; Aidey White really hasn’t cut it upon his return).  He was ace.  ‘Hecky, sign him up’ etc.  If only twas so simple!  Scowen was tremendous, winning every 40-60.  Bradshaw was a bit anonymous, till he scored (the new Winnall!) while Hamill came on to do what he does best: frustrate the opposition down by the corner flag when we’re winning.  

The view from the Ponty.

Drink du jour: wine and beer, oh dear.  So red wine in Staincross (Mapplewell?) followed by wheat beer in the Old #7 and JD and coke on the way home.  Rock and roll!!!!!

Away: 5,200.  A sell out, but it seems DL can’t be trusted, they weren’t quite given the allocation The Mags were. Which says it all: less trusted than Newcastle fans.
We all hate Leeds scum, we all hate Leeds scum….etc

The Damage:
c40 train (inc earlier tickets we had to cancel cos match was re-arranged)5 taxi
2 fanzine
3.50 prog (ironically, after refusing to pay £3.50 at Fulham, I found myself buying a celebratory ‘Mr Barnsley’ one for same a week later.)
= c£50

Dear BFC
I know it’s only January, but I find it quite disheartening that I cannot purchase of a home shirt (size: medium) nor a pair of those stripey home socks.  And don’t gimme sh*t that I’ve had all season to buy these things; I have never seen a home shirt in stock in the half dozen or so times I’ve bothered to look.  So today I wore my ‘Pelada’.  Only you won’t know what I’m on about cos you’re only in the here and now and have no idea about our history.
Yours
A. Potential-Consumer

The Tunes:
Dimension Intrusion (FUSE)
The Race for Space (Public Service Broadcasting)

Me and Jonesy snapped off t'telly.

PS Little Lee Johnson.  Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  ‘Rebuilding phase’.  My God you are such a crock of sh*t, Lee.  And people fall for it.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/38704934

"The Championship was never going to be easy - we are in a rebuilding phase.

"We spoke at the start of the season about history makers and it was supposed to be positive - not bad history.

"We've got to make sure we make history in positive ways and we can still do that this year. We need to fight our way back up the table. I believe that we can."

PMSL.  Keep it up, Little |Lee, keep it up.