‘Back From the Dead’
You Reds!!!!!!!!!!!! Who are these people who forego the chance of a Tuesday nite trip to Reading based on nothing more than us being s*** all season??? The Midweek Massive (all 187 of ‘em!) get their just desserts as we crush the Royals with a couple of unbelievable goals. Mind, in our predicament, I guess any goals are ‘unbelievable’, but wow, you shoulda seen the belters from RNL and Jennings!
Bad news early doors as I’m met at the turnstyle to be told it’s 30 bloody quids. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have bothered. Especially when I learnt it was a fiver cheaper had I bought it in advance, like I coulda done at Oakwell on Satdy. Why does no-one tell me these things!!?? Do you honestly think I have the time to be trawling round t’interweb and BFC’s ticketing page? Booooo. Still, I’m there now. When you’ve reached the Madjeski and you’re miles out of Reading, nevermind London, what choice do you have?? Even the buses won’t be going back till after the game. It was a decision I didn’t regret.
I’m greeted by friendly, chatty stewards, who also found the 30 smackeroonies a tad over the top (my ticket said ‘max. price £30' – why couldn’t I pay the MINIMUM price?) On entering though, what a world of difference to your average 2nd division experience. They’ve only gone and got themselves BFC ‘highlights’ on their concourse screens. And it really is highlights, as most of our goals (not many) are on there and most of the opposition’s (a lot) weren’t. Great editing, RFC! The bar staff meantime are all wearing snazzy red shirts with ‘Grove St, S71, Yorkshire’ emblazoned across them. (the staff had to hand these back every game and were told that they ‘couldn’t part with them for less than 20 quid’). Another steward held a sign up pointing to a smoking area – what will Reds fans DO, not having to have a fag in the toilets? And signs everywhere saying ‘Reading FC welcomes…’ followed by colour prints of our badge. These boys really make an effort. And the steak and ale pies (£3.20) were truly glorious – but Tickle wouldn’t know, cos I got the last one!
Of course, all that is merely decoration, when we’re about to be stuffed by a side chasing the play-offs. Wilson’s made changes though and Etuhu (‘I remember him, he used to play for Barnsley’) is in at right back for the Hapless Hunt (alliteration and rhyming slang all in one phrase – I thank you), while Reuben Noble-Lazarus makes another attempt at resurrecting his career from the bench. Let play commence!
Reading looked a good side, very fast on the attack and slick interplay. So it was with some comfort that we had a right back who could turn and chase at pace and didn’t get caught upfield. And despite M’Voto’s obvious immobility, he generally stood in the right place, made some crunching tackles and won every header. And through all this we had a midfield attempting to pass the ball to each other. It was all quite the novelty. Still, it was a surprise to go ahead. Being at the other end, I’m not sure what went right, but O’Grady found himself wide left in the box, with the keeper bearing down on him. Dawson steamed (jogged) into the penalty area, O’G passed him the ball and he drove home. REF! Blow your whistle now! Full time! Only 74 more minutes to hang on.
Reading needn’t have panicked. Within a few minutes they were back level, due to the worst penalty decision I’ve seen for years. That Cheating Ba5tard Russian (I can’t spell his name…Pogrebnyak?) went one-on-one with Etuhu, they went shoulder to shoulder and the CBR just threw himself to the floor. Never have I seen such a big bloke go down like the proverbial sack of s*** since THAT penalty Dion Dublin got to beat us in the last minute at Cov in the Premiership (and look where THEY are now – karma!) I’d love to have justified the ref’s decision, just to annoy Andy Reed, but a) it was awful and b) Andy wasn’t there. We have to EARN the right to bag a goal and yet the opposition just get handed them on a plate. At least it wasn’t our defence serving it up this time. CBR nonchalantly drilled it home to Steele’s bottom left, Steele nonchalantly dived bottom right.
That’s it, our dreams shattered in minutes. No chance now. Reading pressed, but we held our own. But we didn’t simply sit in our half (that made a change). We tried taking it to ‘em. However, there were few chances and the Super Reds were applauded off at half time, job well done.
2nd half and we came out BLAZING. RNL came on for Pedersen (it took me till about the 80th minute to realise Pedersen was the one who’d gone off, such is his general anonymity). And lo and behold! ‘Lazarus back from the dead to save Reds’ headlines at the ready as a quick break means 2 on 2 and RNL picks it up wide right. He could get a shot off 1st time (if he had a right foot) but he doesn’t. So he cuts inside and curls a SWEET effort into the far top corner from 20 yards. Pure class. You could tell he meant it, all the way. Pedersen – just slink off back to Norway. Or the Netherlands, or wherever you came from. THAT is how it’s done. The fans go berserk – except for the Family Rogers, who are somewhere under the stand tending to the lucky mascot (Ben) who has somehow scalded himself with Bovril. I call it natural selection. (Hope he's ok now!)
12 minutes into the half and Jennings breaks on the left. He cuts inside slightly and unleashes a FEROCIOUS drive into the top corner, right in front of us. Even as it hit the net, I’m still convinced it was side netting. I thought only Polish Tom could hit a ball like this for us. An absolute blinder, even better than his goal against Forest t’other week. YOU REDSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then we comfortably see out the game, like we never can. Reading threatened once, an absolute ‘worldy’ from Steele tipping over a header, and that was it. Not even the obligatory consolation to make it nervous. I could get used to this. Best 30 quids I’ve spent in a while!
For MOTM, I’m really spoilt, so I’m gonna give credit where it’s due to one or two players I’ve previously not been impressed with, who really put in a shift tonite. (No Mellis, that’s NOT you).
*** Lawrence. Actually looked like a player tonite, running our midfield, both in attack and defence, before understandably tiring and being subbed.
** Etuhu. I’ve already said it – a right back who can tackle, chase back at pace and doesn’t go wandering upfield losing the ball and being out of position. Imagine! Just a shame he got done for a penalty by simply running next to that CBR.
* M’Voto. While it was his awfulness which led to their goal (did he miss the ball, or pass it back, I can’t remember) he won everything thereafter. And we all like a Big Bad Centre Half sliding in on the touchline and putting ball and man out of play. Go Jean-Yves!
And there it was. Got a lift back with Dave (result!) so no schlep to Reading station, and a final, fond, farewell (Cobber) to Mr Tickle – who came, saw (4 games) and conquered (twice). As many victories as the rest of us had seen in months. He doesn’t know what the fuss is about!
COME ON YOU REDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A
You Reds!!!!!!!!!!!! Who are these people who forego the chance of a Tuesday nite trip to Reading based on nothing more than us being s*** all season??? The Midweek Massive (all 187 of ‘em!) get their just desserts as we crush the Royals with a couple of unbelievable goals. Mind, in our predicament, I guess any goals are ‘unbelievable’, but wow, you shoulda seen the belters from RNL and Jennings!
 |
| Everyone's favourite Australian feels at home |
Bad news early doors as I’m met at the turnstyle to be told it’s 30 bloody quids. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have bothered. Especially when I learnt it was a fiver cheaper had I bought it in advance, like I coulda done at Oakwell on Satdy. Why does no-one tell me these things!!?? Do you honestly think I have the time to be trawling round t’interweb and BFC’s ticketing page? Booooo. Still, I’m there now. When you’ve reached the Madjeski and you’re miles out of Reading, nevermind London, what choice do you have?? Even the buses won’t be going back till after the game. It was a decision I didn’t regret.
I’m greeted by friendly, chatty stewards, who also found the 30 smackeroonies a tad over the top (my ticket said ‘max. price £30' – why couldn’t I pay the MINIMUM price?) On entering though, what a world of difference to your average 2nd division experience. They’ve only gone and got themselves BFC ‘highlights’ on their concourse screens. And it really is highlights, as most of our goals (not many) are on there and most of the opposition’s (a lot) weren’t. Great editing, RFC! The bar staff meantime are all wearing snazzy red shirts with ‘Grove St, S71, Yorkshire’ emblazoned across them. (the staff had to hand these back every game and were told that they ‘couldn’t part with them for less than 20 quid’). Another steward held a sign up pointing to a smoking area – what will Reds fans DO, not having to have a fag in the toilets? And signs everywhere saying ‘Reading FC welcomes…’ followed by colour prints of our badge. These boys really make an effort. And the steak and ale pies (£3.20) were truly glorious – but Tickle wouldn’t know, cos I got the last one!
 |
| I want one! |
 |
| BFC highlights (there are any???) |
 |
| Really, you're TOO nice. |
Of course, all that is merely decoration, when we’re about to be stuffed by a side chasing the play-offs. Wilson’s made changes though and Etuhu (‘I remember him, he used to play for Barnsley’) is in at right back for the Hapless Hunt (alliteration and rhyming slang all in one phrase – I thank you), while Reuben Noble-Lazarus makes another attempt at resurrecting his career from the bench. Let play commence!
 |
| The legends come out |
Reading looked a good side, very fast on the attack and slick interplay. So it was with some comfort that we had a right back who could turn and chase at pace and didn’t get caught upfield. And despite M’Voto’s obvious immobility, he generally stood in the right place, made some crunching tackles and won every header. And through all this we had a midfield attempting to pass the ball to each other. It was all quite the novelty. Still, it was a surprise to go ahead. Being at the other end, I’m not sure what went right, but O’Grady found himself wide left in the box, with the keeper bearing down on him. Dawson steamed (jogged) into the penalty area, O’G passed him the ball and he drove home. REF! Blow your whistle now! Full time! Only 74 more minutes to hang on.
Reading needn’t have panicked. Within a few minutes they were back level, due to the worst penalty decision I’ve seen for years. That Cheating Ba5tard Russian (I can’t spell his name…Pogrebnyak?) went one-on-one with Etuhu, they went shoulder to shoulder and the CBR just threw himself to the floor. Never have I seen such a big bloke go down like the proverbial sack of s*** since THAT penalty Dion Dublin got to beat us in the last minute at Cov in the Premiership (and look where THEY are now – karma!) I’d love to have justified the ref’s decision, just to annoy Andy Reed, but a) it was awful and b) Andy wasn’t there. We have to EARN the right to bag a goal and yet the opposition just get handed them on a plate. At least it wasn’t our defence serving it up this time. CBR nonchalantly drilled it home to Steele’s bottom left, Steele nonchalantly dived bottom right.
That’s it, our dreams shattered in minutes. No chance now. Reading pressed, but we held our own. But we didn’t simply sit in our half (that made a change). We tried taking it to ‘em. However, there were few chances and the Super Reds were applauded off at half time, job well done.
2nd half and we came out BLAZING. RNL came on for Pedersen (it took me till about the 80th minute to realise Pedersen was the one who’d gone off, such is his general anonymity). And lo and behold! ‘Lazarus back from the dead to save Reds’ headlines at the ready as a quick break means 2 on 2 and RNL picks it up wide right. He could get a shot off 1st time (if he had a right foot) but he doesn’t. So he cuts inside and curls a SWEET effort into the far top corner from 20 yards. Pure class. You could tell he meant it, all the way. Pedersen – just slink off back to Norway. Or the Netherlands, or wherever you came from. THAT is how it’s done. The fans go berserk – except for the Family Rogers, who are somewhere under the stand tending to the lucky mascot (Ben) who has somehow scalded himself with Bovril. I call it natural selection. (Hope he's ok now!)
12 minutes into the half and Jennings breaks on the left. He cuts inside slightly and unleashes a FEROCIOUS drive into the top corner, right in front of us. Even as it hit the net, I’m still convinced it was side netting. I thought only Polish Tom could hit a ball like this for us. An absolute blinder, even better than his goal against Forest t’other week. YOU REDSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then we comfortably see out the game, like we never can. Reading threatened once, an absolute ‘worldy’ from Steele tipping over a header, and that was it. Not even the obligatory consolation to make it nervous. I could get used to this. Best 30 quids I’ve spent in a while!
 |
| Get in! |
For MOTM, I’m really spoilt, so I’m gonna give credit where it’s due to one or two players I’ve previously not been impressed with, who really put in a shift tonite. (No Mellis, that’s NOT you).
*** Lawrence. Actually looked like a player tonite, running our midfield, both in attack and defence, before understandably tiring and being subbed.
** Etuhu. I’ve already said it – a right back who can tackle, chase back at pace and doesn’t go wandering upfield losing the ball and being out of position. Imagine! Just a shame he got done for a penalty by simply running next to that CBR.
* M’Voto. While it was his awfulness which led to their goal (did he miss the ball, or pass it back, I can’t remember) he won everything thereafter. And we all like a Big Bad Centre Half sliding in on the touchline and putting ball and man out of play. Go Jean-Yves!
And there it was. Got a lift back with Dave (result!) so no schlep to Reading station, and a final, fond, farewell (Cobber) to Mr Tickle – who came, saw (4 games) and conquered (twice). As many victories as the rest of us had seen in months. He doesn’t know what the fuss is about!
COME ON YOU REDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A
ps, (Slacki) in the cold harsh light of day, would you like to e-mail us your convoluted joke that you told me last night? Or is it best forgotten?
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