‘…when your mate can’t even get off with your wife’
Some people think it’s all over…it certainly looks it. Andy and Pompey live to regret not going to Vicarage Road as they miss the Super Reds conceding 2 in the opening 15 minutes (Steele saving two other one-on-ones). Danny Wilson thinks the win over Forest last week shows what we’re capable of. The 0-5, 0-3, 0-3 of the 3 other games around Forest show otherwise. That’s 11 goals conceded in 3 games. Thank god Watford didn’t seem to bother once they got the early two goal cushion.
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| One day this'll all be finished |
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| But then again, they're not bothering with that corner... |
Some people think it’s all over…it certainly looks it. Andy and Pompey live to regret not going to Vicarage Road as they miss the Super Reds conceding 2 in the opening 15 minutes (Steele saving two other one-on-ones). Danny Wilson thinks the win over Forest last week shows what we’re capable of. The 0-5, 0-3, 0-3 of the 3 other games around Forest show otherwise. That’s 11 goals conceded in 3 games. Thank god Watford didn’t seem to bother once they got the early two goal cushion.
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| One of these people is today's 'lucky' Reds' mascot |
Mind, it’s the Watford fans I feel sorry for. They came in their unlikely hordes (14,000 of ‘em!) to witness a a gladiatorial battle, an encounter of such epic proportions it would go down in legend. What they got was a match over before 5 minutes was up. And in a season of catastrophe, we even learnt a new way to concede a goal, Dawson miscuing a clearance straight to their bloke. Dawson compounds the error by standing well off him, allowing a 20 odd yard half volley to rocket into the net.
No need to dwell on that error though, there’ll be another one along soon enough. And it’s that man Dawson again, deciding he’ll switch play from our left to THEIR left, as his crossfield ball is easily intercepted and their left back runs forward. There’s still time for 3 or 4 passes as Barnsley defenders are all at sea. It’s like watching 10 year olds, as they all run to where the ball has just BEEN. The entire back 4 switched 10 yards to their right, leaving an unmarked Deeney to sidefoot home towards the backpost. Woeful, Barnsley, woeful.
So, £26 and 15 minutes in and the game is lost. Hardly anyone on the pitch appears to give a s*** and we see out the remaining 75 minutes comfortably, save for another midfield f*** up and 3-0. Everyone’s favourite Jacob ‘Ba5tard fcuking Mellis’ strolls one step too far, gives the ball away and they’re on the break. The left winger even slows down, just so he can round Mellis again before pulling the ball back for a tap-in. Never have I seen a Barnsley player give so little yet get picked so often. He’s like a central midfield Kevin Donovan (remember him???).
As the end was nigh, and we mused whether we’d had a shot on target (we hadn't), Big Nick goes clean through to chip a ball against the bar. I continue my debate with Loko over whether he’s s*** or very s***. (Loko likes him.) Three-nil and possibly the WORST Barnsley midfield I have ever seen: Lawrence – Frimpong – Mellis – Dawson. We’re going down faster than that bird Hugh Grant was once caught with.
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| Keep calm? Keep f***ing CALM? I support BFC FFS! |
** Steele. Couldn’t do anything about the goals, saved 2 one-on-ones.
* Jennings. He’ll do a job in division 3.
Despatches:
What can I say about our midfield that you don’t already know? Dawson tries but isn’t good enough at this level. Mellis is but doesn’t. Ditto Pingpong (least I THINK he’s good enough, but he’s doing his best to prove otherwise). And Lawrence is a 32 year old playing like a 37 or 38 year old. I remember when he used to be good.
Then there’s the defence. The Football League Paper was extremely generous to Hunt who it claimed spent his match covering the centre halves. From where I sat, it was the other way around, as Hunt continually got caught going forward and well known full back and speed merchant M’Voto would trot across to (fail to) cover, leaving a massive space behind HIM. Honestly, could our players just concentrate on doing THEIR OWN jobs first? Kennedy of course was Kennedy. Leaving Nyatanga, who I thought looked alright, actually. But he can’t hope to hold a defence together on his own. I’ll tell you who COULD do a job alongside him, and could help ORGANISE the defence – some bloke sat up in the stands with us, with his wife and 2 kids. Step forward Sir Bobby Hassell. Although the subject of a few chants, at least the fans had the deference NOT to chant that they’d let him shag their wives. BFC fans and ‘deference’. Whatever next?
So, last (and least) is our forward line, consisting as it did of German Nick. What does he bring to our game, outside of statuesque play and zero attacking threat? ‘Oh, but he gets no service’. No – and he won’t at that pace. Flicks the odd ball on and that’s about it. Can’t even hold a ball up, nevermind run with it. How do folk spend two million on players like this?
In summary: relegation.
Onwards and downwards!
A
ps, I'll tell you who I blame. Young Jake Slack. 'Lucky' mascot!? At least we only lost by two when I did it!
What can I say about our midfield that you don’t already know? Dawson tries but isn’t good enough at this level. Mellis is but doesn’t. Ditto Pingpong (least I THINK he’s good enough, but he’s doing his best to prove otherwise). And Lawrence is a 32 year old playing like a 37 or 38 year old. I remember when he used to be good.
Then there’s the defence. The Football League Paper was extremely generous to Hunt who it claimed spent his match covering the centre halves. From where I sat, it was the other way around, as Hunt continually got caught going forward and well known full back and speed merchant M’Voto would trot across to (fail to) cover, leaving a massive space behind HIM. Honestly, could our players just concentrate on doing THEIR OWN jobs first? Kennedy of course was Kennedy. Leaving Nyatanga, who I thought looked alright, actually. But he can’t hope to hold a defence together on his own. I’ll tell you who COULD do a job alongside him, and could help ORGANISE the defence – some bloke sat up in the stands with us, with his wife and 2 kids. Step forward Sir Bobby Hassell. Although the subject of a few chants, at least the fans had the deference NOT to chant that they’d let him shag their wives. BFC fans and ‘deference’. Whatever next?
So, last (and least) is our forward line, consisting as it did of German Nick. What does he bring to our game, outside of statuesque play and zero attacking threat? ‘Oh, but he gets no service’. No – and he won’t at that pace. Flicks the odd ball on and that’s about it. Can’t even hold a ball up, nevermind run with it. How do folk spend two million on players like this?
In summary: relegation.
Onwards and downwards!
A
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| The old allotment end. No doubt called 'South Stand' or summat imaginative. |
ps, I'll tell you who I blame. Young Jake Slack. 'Lucky' mascot!? At least we only lost by two when I did it!
pps, it's performances like that which make me appreciate being in work Sat morn and dashing to Watford just in time to make KO (cheers to Salisbury and the crew for sorting a taxi from the pub next to the station).
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