Still, it starts well. We get an early penalty as DKD makes a dazzling run into the area before being chopped. Phillips steps up and for once misses the stand. You Reds! For ten minutes we look a decent outfit and create…nothing. Stockport slowly get to grips with the task and slowly, but surely, become the better team. We creep in at half-time with an undeserved lead, as Slonina keeps out a clean through Hatter, as well as the rebound. On the assumption we only play one good half, we’ve got this. I look forward to us clicking in the second half, and us running away with this game. Or b), I’ll settle for one-nil. I’ll settle for one-nil.
The second half is shambolic. Did we have a kick? I’m told the Hatters averaged 85% possession for great swathes of the second half. (Mind, if you take a small enough sample, it’s 100%, innit?) I do know this. Once the manager hauled off Craig, DKD and Humphreys before the hour, for Benson, Marsh and Cosgrove, we were lost. On paper, the subs made sense. I was bemoaning a bit of movement and pace in attack, so Marsh ticks that box. So we didn’t pass to him once. Not once. Benson had a couple of good touches – on the halfway line. And Cosgrove? Within seconds the ref gave a free kick against him. I haven’t read the rules (‘laws of the game’) in a while, but I’ve missed this one: Should a defender go to ground in a tussle with Cosgrove, it’s a free kick against Cosgrove. Should Cosgrove go down in a tussle with a defender, it’s a free kick to the defender. (One exception, as we got a free kick wide on the halfway line).
Anyway, from that moment, it was all Stockkport, save for one break where Earl ignored the overlap (who’d have been clean through) to have a shot himself (blocked) and a rebound (blocked). That’s 3 times thus far this season I’ve seen us ignore the easy ball to the overlapping wide player (the other 2 were Luca). I presume they practice this move (not the ignoring bit, but you know what I mean). I know we’re 3rd division, but still.
But this was one attack. They had dozens. Basically, every time the ball crossed the halfway line, they picked it up and came at us again. Nobody in a red shirt could keep hold of the ball, or pass it to another red, and we retreated further and further toward our own penalty area. In the end, it was lucky we didn’t concede earlier, as if we had, they could have got 3 or 4. As it was, with the finish line in sight (1st minute of 6 minutes injury time) they are camped around our box. One shot’s blocked, but the rebound is put away. We have no complaints.
Except we do. A la Burton last week, we’re not interested in playing till the opposition equalise, and in the last minute we actually have a...what do you call them? Oh yes, an ATTACK. The ball is played across goal and sub Lofthouse has a tap-in…till he’s cleaned out by a defender who’s found himself the wrong side of the ball. I had a perfect view from the Corner Stand and the reaction of the defender says it all. He’s face down, praying the ref won’t give it. He doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Cotter. I’ll say this. When he went off, we were winning.
** Craig. OK, gave it away a couple of times, but he was usually the reason we had the ball in the first place. We never had it once he’d gone off.
* Slonina. Didn’t put a foot wrong, and saved a one-on-one (twice).
Official MOTM: Cotter
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Cotter 2. Roberts 3. Earl
Despatches:
For a change, the PA’s usual mid-match appeal to the crowd not to chant anything racist, sexist, religionist, etc is responded to with a full-on ‘f*** the Pope and the IRA’. All-day drinking, eh? A decent rendition of ‘red suspenders’ too (I hope Nice Guy Chris heard)...She...WORE, she WORE...’
Full marks too for BFC, offering anyone who saw our Old Trafford surrender a free ticket. While this didn’t directly benefit season ticket holders (some of whom you KNOW will moan about it), it meant we could bring a lamb to the slaughter mate to the feast. (sadly, I’m one of those people who doesn’t know ANYONE who’d even want to watch the Super Reds for free.) Thus, the crowd figure was boosted by up to 2,000. Will they be back? At Edgeley Park, maybe.
The players? Cotter was MOTM again. I concur. I thought Earl was alright, bar ignoring that overlap. O’Keefe was...well, he was a right wing back playing left back, before getting 15 minutes in his rightful position. (I thought we’d be rid of this disease when we shipped out Jordan Williams. Just play players in their rightful positions, or don’t play them at all.) Playing O’Keefe, or Earl, down the left means we have virtually nothing going forward down that wing, increasing the pressure and workload for Cotter on the right. Sadly, Cotter broke down again, but so would I if I had to do EVERYTHING in this sorry team. Why’s our right back our most dangerous player? Game after game after game. Of course, he still lets us know he’s Barry Cotter with the odd silly error. Hopefully just enough to put Real Madrid off come January, (Note: our goal came from O’Keefe playing a ball across to DKD for the pen. So I’m talking about the OTHER 88 minutes.)
Roberts finally did what we signed him for, heading balls away, while De Givigny...De Givigny. Who does he think he is? Maradona? John Stones? Listen, Mael, once you’ve beaten ONE player, GET RID. You are simply not good enough to be rounding player after player before losing it. Oops, he just has done. Still, it makes a change for Roberts (or even Pines) not to be the liability at the heart of our defence.
The midfield? Jesus. Outside of Craig, what was there? DKD is going backwards, possibly literally. 2 or 3 times he was in a race to the ball, several yards headstart, and didn’t get it. We already have players who can do that. Phillips? The Invisible Man? He possibly challenged sub Aidan Marsh for least touches of the ball. What does he do? Where does he go during the match? Then there’s Luca, who, Once Upon a Time, was a damn fine player at this level. Watching him ‘putting on a show’ is painful. I’d love to say the captaincy is affecting his game, but he was the same last season. Occasional flashes of skill inbetween the game passing him by.
The forward line? Double Jesus. What’s worse than a Humphreys? A Cosgrove? And what’s worse than a Cosgrove? A Marsh? Don’t forget we still have Watters to come back, as well as Noble-Lazarus Mk II.
Oh, and Lofthouse. Came on for the last 10 and played...centre midfield? #10? A player who’s impressed most in cameos as left wing back. Now, if only left wing back was a problem position...
Drink du jour: Schneiderweisse at the Penistone Tap*, Paulaner at Spiral City.
*Nozzer and I went to see Penistone Church in the afternoon. Another great reason for Satdy nite Sky football!
Away: 2,378. Tremendous.
The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
= c.£8
Due to injuries and suspension, Nozzer and I were the grateful guests of Gally in the exec box. Cheers Gally!
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