Still, what can Clarke do with the players at his disposal? I’ve heard of strength in depth, we have weakness in depth. Or strength in weakness. Weakness in strength? If I told you we were losing and the answer is ‘take your centre forward off and put Josh Benson on’ you know you’re in trouble. Humphreys was switched to CF and was so witless he was hauled for a player who can barely get a game for the under 23s (Dire). To be fair, Dire junior was probably the least hapless, actually managing a header on target. The less said about the new Frenchie Rodrigues, the better. At least he lasted 62 minutes today, or 17 more than his debut. I can’t see him completing 90 minutes anytime soon. Indeed, I can’t generally see him. What DOES he do?
Back to Clarke though, in this game of Blame Ping Pong. We came out second half and were STEAMROLLERED by Hudds. Everyone could see a goal coming. Clarke’s response? Cross his fingers and HOPE a defence including Pines would simply hold out. It didn’t, and in the space of 3 minutes we go from winning to losing. THEN he hauls Rodrigues. I’m sorry, I’m starting to think this manager HASN’T A CLUE, irrespective that the majority of his players are substandard. He could always try IMPROVING them. The clue is in the job title: ‘Coach’. (Unless it’s the other kind of coach.)
A couple of crazy goals too. We manage to concede the equaliser from our own attack: the ball is played to Humphreys’ feet and he appears to be cleaned out. (I’ve since seen it on telly and he runs slap bang into Herbie Kane, of all people, and is run over like Wile E. Coyote hitting a lorry. Weak as p***. 2 passes later, they’re clean through. It’s at times like these I wish I didn’t have such a good view of the formations. It’s painful to see just how open we are.
Maybe the goal will revitalise us? Wake us up a bit. Have another guess. The Terriers get a free kick out wide, 35-40 yards from our goal. The ball is curled in, a Town player dummies it (was it Kane again?) and the ball bobbles into the far corner as new keeper Gauci misjudges it completely. Ah, Gauci. Didn’t take him long to mess up, did it? Good job we strengthened the one area that was going vaguely well, replacing our own employee for some other club’s keeper for us to improve. Well, he’ll certainly get some practice.
There’s half an hour left and the only thing keeping the score down is that Huddersfield are already winning. Good job they weren’t looking to improve their goal difference. We continued to be terrible. Our modus operandi appeared to be to limp to the halfway line, be confronted by an opponent, then square it crossfield 30 yards to repeat the process. Throw in an aimless forward ball and possession was ceded with ease. Lembikisa came on at right back and overhit not one, not two, but three balls down the line. The American bloke came on (Jon Lewis – hopefully he comes with the department store’s fabled money back guarantee), wide left, and looked vaguely promising, in the way Humphreys looks vaguely promising when he’s out wide. We manage a total of 4 efforts on target all game…apart from the goal, that (weak) Dire header, an early DKD 20 yarder and...I can’t remember.
The goal we scored was a thing of beauty. Russell breaks from the halfway line and strides forward. Defenders retreat, he cuts inside and fires into the corner from 20 yards. He didn’t celebrate. I suspect it was cos he’s ex-Hudds, but I like to think it’s cos he knew what was coming. In the space of a year he’s gone from one of our worst players to one of our best.
We are truly dreadful.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Russell. Looked tidy in advanced positions, scored an excellent goal and made a couple of great interceptions to prevent Terriers’ breaks.
** MdG. Is he really composed? Or does he just look it in comparison with Pines and Earl?
* DKD At least LOOKS like he’s trying to score.
Official MOTM: Russell
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Russell 2. MdG 3. DKD
Despatches:
Nice Guy Chris – look away now. Our XG today was 0.4 (thanks, XG correspondent Farnham). In other words, with the shots we took, on average, we’d be expected to score nearly half a goal. Nearly half a goal. At home. Ah, home games. I think I can thank the Chron for this stat...in the last year we’ve played 22 3rd division matches at Oakwell, winning 4, drawing 9 and losing 9. Throw in a hammering in the play-off semi final and these are grim days for the average season ticket holder. 4 home wins in 23 attempts against 3rd tier opposition. Drink that in.
Still, some positive came of Satdy. I left the game richer than I arrived – I handed in mine and Nozzer’s Northampton away tickets after its postponement. I barely wanted to go on a Satdy, so Tuesday nite? No chance. There’s always next season (cries mournfully into his lap).
As for the ‘arrive 8 minutes late’ protest, I’d say as many as 93 folk may have crawled into the Ponty after 3:08pm. There were muted chants of ‘sack the board’ later on, cos ‘sack the head of recruitment’ isn’t catchy enough.
Grim.
Oh, and did I mention Hudds had been badly out of form before facing us? Just like the away game. And, just like the away game, there was only one team in it.
Drink du jour: Beavertown Gamma Ray in Spiral City.
Away: 4,502 (15,600). Very quiet after we scored, bit more lively 2nd half.
The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
= c.£8
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