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‘You know they’re gonna take the lead through a keeper cock-up.’
In the end, I couldn’t resist. I succumbed to temptation. I gave in. I had no self-control. Yes, the lure of finding out how useless our latest loan keeper* was just proved too much. I simply had to see the Carabao (League) Cup 1st round tie, Barnsley versus Wigan Athletic. I mean, it’s not as if I’ve even missed football (Barnsley). We’ve had a World Cup. We watched England capitulate in a way I’ve not even seen the Super Reds. And watching a couple of games in Scotland and a bunch of non-league games in the last few weeks seemed infinitely more pleasurable than watching our lot. But, like the mythic sirens (yes, I’ve seen The Odyssey too), I find Oakwell drawing me in and my willpower failing me again.
*he was injured.
Yes, not the most glam of ties. Indeed, when the draw was made I was rather hoping for a northern away game. At least that would be interesting. But no. A repeat of at least 23 other games this season, though with half a crowd and only one home stand open. Still, at least it gave the Ponty End an excuse for their silence. I listened to the side being read out. Can I remember all these names? I’d remember the keeper. Ravenhill. 20 year old, home grown, making his debut between the sticks. How proud he must have been, as, following the obligatory fist bumps with the opposition, he turns to run towards the Ponty End to be met with a hero’s wel...to be met with four and a half thousand empty seats. I bet he dreamed of this moment.
Stendal plumped for a back 4. Kay’s son Kay (I wish Antony had called his son Kay) was right back, some other young pup called Alker at left, new signing (and Great White Hope) Gale partnering the lumbering Josh Earl in the centre. Grounds for optimism? Well, Shepherd, O’Keeffe and Bland were all on the bench. I’m liking this new manager already!
Connell and new captain McGeehan (I’m liking this new man…etc) anchored the midfield, with Kelly further forward behind new centre forward Kirk. Is the new guy captaincy material, I wonder? (No.) Out wide, we still have Cleary for another few weeks and some other bloke who’s name I will look up now. Richards. If I told you his pass completion rate was 28.6%, would that temper your expectations?
We were awful that 1st half. Wigan coulda...shoulda...been out of sight. The keeper made 2 one-on-one saves. They hit the post when Earl put them clean through. The keeper made some more saves. But the most extraordinary miss came when a ball was squared for the tap-in…only their player completely swung and missed the ball. Your grandma (deceased) would’ve put this one away. More saves. Why’ve we brought in a loanee? The 2 wise monkeys (Nozzer, Ozzie and I) muse that this can’t last. Wigan are bound to take the lead through a keeper cock-up, and so it proves.
Does Ravenhill misjudge the flight of the punt forward? Does he deliberately leave it, thinking it’s going out for a goalkick? I thought the latter, but it’s plainly not going out cos a Latic is there on the backpost to divert it back across goal for an open net even this bloke can score. Oh well, nothing less than Wigan deserve and we’ve held out till 5 mins before half-time, or about half an hour longer than it looked like we would. Still, the fullbacks have easily been beaten and there’s no midfield to speak of. But at least I can’t fault the centre forward for not holding the ball up...he’s never had it. Our only attacking ploy was for either Ravenhill (goalkeeper) or Connell (useless) to knock it over the top of the defence for no-one to chase. We are all over the place.
The interval has not come soon enough, and Daniel pulls off a masterstroke. He drags off the centre forward (apparently ill, not merely rubbish) and sends on Bland. (I will henceforth no longer refer to him as The GOAT, since nobody bangs on to me anymore about what a fine player he is, the future of our midfield, etc etc). Anyway, Bland on at right back, the right back (Kay) to left back, the left back (Alker) to midfield (where Nozzer says he plays for the Under 21s) and Cleary further down the pitch, where he can do damage. And it WORKS.
It is now mostly us on the front foot, Cleary especially being a threat. But inbetween the half chances, we still show we can create for the opposition, as Gale slips in their centre forward, clean through. Thankfully, the shot is weak, and straight at Ravenhill, but credit to Gale whose chase back puts pressure on the defender. Not that he looked pacy, but neither did he look like Jack Shepherd. My hopes are highish.
It’s a beautiful day, btw, perfect for leaning back in one’s seat and not being that bothered whether we win or lose...but still, it’d be nice to get Bolton or someone in the next round. But something’s bubbling. We’re still going forward and with every Reds attack, the crowd is slowly being roused and at one point a round of ‘Come on you Reds’ eked out from the East Stand. Cleary was beating his man, balls were being put into the box...but, alas, never to a red shirt. But then, with 10 left, FINALLY, a breakthrough. Cleary skins the fullback, drives towards the box and crosses low for The Captain to sidefoot home. He can’t miss, it’s on a plate. But still, you have to make the run. Even more so when you’re playing without a centre forward (as we have been for about 3 years now). I’ve decided I’m actually invested in us winning now. It’s amazing what a goal does.
But then comes the coup de grace. We’re a minute off penalties when Wigan are slipped in on the break (credit where it’s due, they set this one up themselves) and it’s the winner. Game over. But what’s this? The lovely little linesman on this side is flagging for offside. Good man! (Goodman. Christ, I’ve just remembered him. Another absolutely sh*te loan goalkeeper. My PTSD has been triggered once again.) Oh, and later photos show we might have played him on. Hopefully this is the start of more decisions going our way.
Wigan look deflated. How’ve they thrown this away? But as we’re headed to penalties we all decide this is a much better idea than another 30 minutes. Our tails are up, Ravenhill’s played a blinder (despite...), the sun is shining...surely this is the debutant’s day? And given Wigan’s finishing, will their penalties even land in our stadium?
Spot kick after spot kick is dispatched, every single one in the corner save for the one daredevil who went straight down the middle. Five-all. Neither keeper has had a chance, tho Ravenhill has got himself booked. My sources say he chucked their keeper’s water bottle (with our penalty takers’ names on it) into the Ponty.
Into sudden death, and Wigan blast a ball against Ravenhill. The crowd go quite excited. And so. Here we are. Cometh the hour. Cometh the Josh Earl. IT’S THERE! Josh Earl. Everyone mobs Ravenhill. Who cares Josh gets the winner? Indeed. Who cares. The sirens called. I couldn’t say no.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Ravenhill. Even Stendal admitted he kept us in the game.
** Cleary. If the 1st half was Ravenhill’s, the 2nd was Cleary’s. Had the fullback on toast.
* Gale. Impressed in parts (and had to).
Official MOTM: Kay. Astounding. (The decision, not the performance.)
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Ravenhill 2. Cleary 3= McGeehan/Gale
Despatches:
Nice touch in the celebrations, as the whole team appeared to stand back to let Ravenhill take the acclaim. And why not? How many other players can be seen waving to their own family in the East Stand. He looks chuffed to bits. I was every bit impressed with him too, far more than Flavell, or that other keeper we chucked 200k at. (is he still there?) But Stendal’s after match comments seemed surprised by how well he’d played. So that doesn’t bode well and forced me not to get ahead of myself.
The other players? Bland was certainly an improvement at right back on Kay, though he nearly blemished his copybook by taking a leaf out of Ravenhill’s book and letting the ball go out of play, only for their player to keep it in. Thankfully, another defender covered. I thought Kay was poor, as was Alker. Still, they’re not O’Keeffe, or Gent, so small mercies. Earl was his usual centre half self. Solid (when not giving the ball away) and slow. Though I admired one attacking header from a corner, where he didn’t even jump, simply used his strength to outmuscle the defender. Will he keep MdG out of the team? And where’s our World Cup hero? The Curacaon? The Curacian? (What do they call people from Curacao?) Isn’t he a defender? Where’s he today?
Stendal complimented Connell for a good second half, which I think is German for ‘he was bloody useless 1st half.’ You know how the transfer window is too long for Cleary? It’s not long enough for Connell. I wonder what month Luca will have me pining for Herbie Kane at centre mid? Trying to be positive, maybe losing the captaincy will free up some hitherto invisible part of his game? Kelly and McGeehan were quiet too, though they made the right runs. Maybe, with practice, the ball will land at their feet. And as I said, the right winger (I’ve forgotten his name again) and the centre forward (Kirk) needn’t have bothered turning out.
I’ve never seen us win a game (ok, draw a game) with so many players having performed so poorly.
As a league cup treat, Nozzer and I spent pre-match with the Galvins...and even only half of them turned up. Blimey. It also meant arriving at Oakwell early enough to chat rubbish with familiar faces, check out the new replica shirts (actually available, for once, on the opening day) while I could admire the ‘new’ ticket office facilities, which, as far as I can see, means fans standing out in the cold peering through tiny slits to ask our overlords if please may we purchase a ticket for that fine fare inside? Seriously, it won’t always be 20 odd degrees Celsius. Us fans now have to stand in the open (with a small cover tacked on to the back of the Ponty) to buy a ticket. Shoddy. But what would I moan about if I didn’t have something to moan about? Oh. Exactly that. Still. It’s a bit crap, Barnsley FC.
Drink du jour: Leffe in Bramahs.
Away: 522 (4,414). Was it 5-1 or 6-1 to Wigan on chants?
The Damage:
£15 ent
£8 petrol
£3 prog
= £26
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