Barnsley 1-5 Watford, Saturday 21st September 2013

‘Christ!’

After our narrow escape last season, the new season duly came around with lots of hope and expectation.  A hard core of last season’s squad stayed, to be joined by a few exciting new signings.  And so it was that we took to the field yesterday with barely a player I recognised in a daring new system called ‘4-4-2’.

                                                Useless

Rubbish                         Poo                        Pants                                  Garbage

Woeful                          Awful                    Dreadful                              Stroller

                         Battler                                  Awesome (wish I had some supply)

Subs: 

Under rated

Unrated

Carousel (goes round and round in circles)

What a catastrophe.  Crushed by a TEAM fitter and faster than our own, who pressured our players high up field and attacked at speed.  Y’know, like we used to do last season. (Although I have to say, we don’t possess anyone of the speed and skill of their 2 star players, Ikechi Anya and the bloke who looked like Ikechi Anya.)

Even before they took the lead against The Worst Offside Trap in the World, the writing was on the wall.  Our players simply couldn’t get near any of theirs.  Still, no excuse for standing still and sticking your paws in the air while Deeney waltzes through to score under zero pressure.  Then Scotland equalises, shoulder charging their guy off the ball before drilling it home from 20 yards off the post.  The optimist in me felt much better, we’d scored.  The realist in me said they looked like they could score at will, while we had to rely on a defensive mistake.

Not to worry, within 4 minutes they were ahead again.  Oh, how our defence laughed as a long pot shot headed out of play.  Except that their right winger hadn’t given up on it and ghosted in at the far post to finish it.  Actually, when I say ‘ghosted’, I mean ghosted past Kennedy who stood staring at the ball while the winger ran past him.  I think everyone else at Oakwell saw the bloke coming.  (Out of interest, how does Kennedy get a game ahead of Noble-Lazarus at the moment?)  Of course, the goal would never have happened had the ref blown for a blatant foul at the other end, when Scotland was cleaned out chasing down a ball, but still, we had 11 men behind it when they collected the ball.

No worries.  As long as we limp to half time only one down, we’re still in it.  2 minutes before half time, it’s all over.  The winger skins Wiseman with ease before pulling it back for a close range finish.  This is pathetic.

At half time, I debate with my dad’s friend Diane what the final score will be.  I go 6-1, she goes fives.  One of us will be right.

Finally, a decision from our manager.  2 subs are made (it could have been 9, to be honest) with the 3^rd no doubt waiting for Scotland, who hasn’t completed 90 minutes since….when?  Reuben is on for Kennedy and O’Brien, who everyone tells me is s***, replaces Dawson, who I say is s***.

And for 20 odd minutes we are the (slightly) better team, without ever looking like we’ll bag.  In fact, I was probably perfectly happy with this, keeping it at 1-3, cos I was dreading what Watford could rack up if they fancied it.  We miss an unbelieveable chance to make it 2-3 when a point blank header is saved by Almunia.  Thankfully, I can’t remember who it was for me to apportion blame.  Should never have missed tho.

Then my dad tells me ‘y’know, we’ve probably edged it so far this half’ and 2 seconds later it’s 1-4.  Their bloke seizes on a loose ball and while some bottle blond midget scurries after him, he hits it home from 25 yards, low into the corner.  Later, said bottle-blond’s last input is to miscontrol a ball just outside their box leaving Anya to sprint 80 yards unchallenged before beating Steele on his near post for 1-5.  Class.

*** Scotland.  Held the all up, got a few shots off, scored, had f*** all support from his teammates.  Had to last the full 90 cos the subs had been used and missed a sitter late on.  Sponsors MOTM.

** Reuben.  Came on at left back and had as many shots as the rest of the team put together in that second half and probably as many crosses.

* O’Brien.  Y’know, that s*** bloke.  In the 2 home games I’ve seen, he’s been one of the best players we have.  Which is problies why we’re 2nd off bottom!  Came on as a right winger, whipped a couple of decent balls in.

Despatches:

Andy was apoplectic about Perkins’ ‘performance’.  I made him least worst of 4 in midfield.  Dawson had another shocker.  Is he fit?  As did Etuhu, who I saw shrugged off the ball by someone half his size, second half.  Is he interested?  Mellis was Mellis.

The ‘Derry Pele’ came on for 20 minutes and dribbled round about 15 players in his cameo.  Shame he usually ended up where he started.  It reminded me of a training session, where the aim is to keep possession rather than actually score a goal.  Watford could have stood and watched and he’d still be dribbling around in circles.  Does he never get dizzy?

As for the defence, I’ve been amused to read Flitcroft’s assertion in the Chronicle’s pre-season supplement (remember, I came back late, so have just read it) that one things’s for sure, it will be better this season.  Wiseman, M’Voto, Ramage, McNulty, Golbourne, Kennedy, O’Brien, Crainie, Steele, Pollitt….seems everyone’s had a run out.  Except…who?  Who was that bloke we had last season, who was consistently ignored as we slid down the table then as needs must, came into the team in the New Year and helped kick start the Flitcroft Revolution?  ‘It’s like de ja vous all over again’, said Shaka Hislop upon being asked about Barnsley’s plight.  We have conceded more goals than anyone in the 4 divisions and have been hit for 5 three times already this season.  (Someone had to tell me that, I’ve been trying to ignore our results.)

O’Grady battled well up front, but really, there were 9 appalling players behind him and Scotland.  They had no chance.

Flitcroft is apparently no longer ‘in denial’.  Well, with the next 3 games Leicester, Reading and QPR, it looks like things will get worse before they get better.  One win, one draw, NINE defeats doesn’t sound good.  Salisbury can’t see Flitcroft lasting beyond the 2^ndinternational break.  Dave on the other hand thought he might be sacked today.  Has he been?

In case anyone was wondering, Watford brought 846 supporters and there were 9004 home fans.  Just saying.

Journey back was pleasant enough.  There were plenty of Watford fans on the train, but they didn’t gloat.  Drink du jour?  JD and coke, with lager for Dave.  ‘Cept as soon as he saw the JD, he refused to drink the lager and stole his share.  And returning to St. Pancras, we decided to show New Boy Tom (Salisbury’s ex-student) a good time with posh beers in that bar in St. P.  We’ll take him to the Flying Scotsman next time!

Come on you Reds!

A

ps, I’m not implying nuffink, but it came out that the 2 prettiest female students on Salisbury’s course both achieved first class degrees!

Bournemouth 1-0 Barnsley, Tuesday 17th September 2013

'I'd have made that substitution before the game started'

First sighting of Goldsands!

Hi all, apologies for the delay.  I work hard, etc.

Well, the fixture compiler did us southern types a great job with a midweek trip to the seaside. 17:05 from Waterloo and a quick beer in Pokesdown were our pre-match lot.  That and some bloke on the train spilling my cup of coffee, a la Walsall away that year.  Only this time I didn't go mental.

1st half - we edged it, hit the post twice in half a second (I thought Dawson shoulda been able to divert the rebound on target, however quickly it came to him).  O'Grady did well to even hit the post.  In the meantime, a couple of times their left winger rampaged down the left, leaving a trail of defenders behind.  Luckily, no end product (till he scored later!)

As bored as me?

2nd half - complete and utter one way traffic.  How they didn't score before they did was purely down to poor finishing, Steele barely had a save to make.  Remember when Odejayi used to sidefoot a ball wide when clean through?  A couple of efforts were reminiscent of the great man himself. 

I guess we did well to hang on till the 76th minute.  Defenders were hoofing it in panic, midfielders refused to put their foot on the ball and the forwards couldn't make it stick.  Subs coulda/shoulda been made earlier and in the end, we problies only got into their half cos they sat back defending what they had rather than continuing to come at us.  Either way, the result, if not the scoreline, was utterly fair.  The goal?  I don't remember much about it, save for 3 seconds earlier it was in their half.  How it ended up in our goal was a mystery to me, though I remember the inevitability of it all, as their forwards outnumbered our defenders and they had options upon options.

AFCB under lights

Anyway, at least we got to see La Famille Rogers in action, Ben mascot for the gazillionth time while Tim's sister responded to a call from the PA for a female Barnsley fan to take a few potshots in the half time competition.  Cue booing from the home end when he announced she was from Southampton!  Lucy meantime was back and forth taking little kids to the toilet, leaving Tim to do what he does best: earholing Reds' sub Mellis at half time and being where it matters when the keeper gave his gloves away (only this time I think some little kid got them - hard luck Tim!)

Where's the car park gone?

The Peckham Ratings:

*** No-one.  Sat low down, I had little clue what was going on or who was(n't) doing it.  Plus all these Reds players look the same to me:  Do Crainie, Dawson and Cywka all go to the same barbers? 

** No-one.  Sat low down, I had little clue what was going on or who was(n't) doing it.  Plus all these Reds players look the same to me:  Do Crainie, Dawson and Cywka all go to the same barbers? 

* Steele.  Didn't put a foot wrong, though mostly cos they kept missing the target.

Drink du jour:  lager lager lager for the lager boys and bitter for the....bitter old men.

1 win, 1 draw, 5 defeats.  We need to fix up.

A

ps, I heard Ramage had a good game.  I never noticed him, apart from the times he wasn't where their forward was.

Leaving the wild west

Barnsley 2-1 Huddersfield, Saturday 31st August 2013

Decent turnout from the Terriers

‘Allt’ finesse o’championship’

Apologies if I’m a bit rusty today, I haven’t attended pre-season training.

Well, finally, I’m back – let the season commence!  Meeting Slacki, Salisbury and Andy Jones at Kings X, it’s apparent early on who hasn’t seen a game yet: Andy and I are extremely chipper about our chances while the other 2 list a million ways it’s going wrong already.  Can’t wait!  Later, Andy improves morale by producing a (chilled) bottle of champagne, the result of a promise for not coming to the Hudds away game last year.  I do like a man of his word!

Pre-match predictions from Vienna Bob (we’ll win 3-0) and County Durham Ron (‘we’ll need to score 4 to win today’).  Both had legs for a while.  Mr Marshall snr. also said ‘nevermind about going down one division, we’ll be going down 2’.  I’m starting to think my MP3 choice of listening this morning (The Cure’s ‘Disintegration’) couldn’t have set me up better for a day with Barnsley FC, the Londontykes and my dad.

Enough of the preamble tho.  The Super Reds ran out in front of a decent crowd (swelled by 3800 Terriers) and there was a familiar look to the side: only M’Voto and Pedersen were new to me.  As well as the 41 year old goalkeeper considered better than Luke Steele (a major bone of contention pre-match). Has anyone ever heard of a manager putting in goal his mate from his summer holidays???

We destroyed Huddersfield 1^st half.  We’d already had a couple of near misses when the ball ran kindly for O’Grady to ram home.  Minutes later, Pedersen attempts what no Reds forward has done in years in bringing down a cross, turning and banging home.  I know what Flitcroft means when he talks about time standing still.  Superb.

2^nd half, you know the script.  The forwards will be isolated with the rest of the team sitting deep, 40 or 50 yards behind them.  Why continue to utilise what was working perfectly well before the break when you can sit back, invite them on and hope for the best?  And it worked for 15 minutes, as there were so many gaps in the Huddersfield defence.  Yet the one time we made it to their box, Perkins cocked up a 3 on 3.

Then the inevitable – Hudds bag.  BFC’s defence do what I would do and leave the 12 goals in 9 games bloke to be picked up by someone else.  No one does and it’s an easy finish.  This is what happens when your star centre half (M’Voto) goes wandering.  In truth, M’Voto had already tried to let Vaughan score by failing to head a ball clear and the Hudds player dragged the ball wide with only Pollitt to beat.  The writing was on the wall. 

Now, this might surprise anyone who knows me, but I was optimistic.  Everyone around me thought that was it, the game’s over, they have half an hour to win the game, while I was saying ‘but look at the gaps Huddersfield are leaving.  They’re RIPE for picking off on the counter.’  Was I right?  I’ll never know, cos we abjectly continued to give them the game, conceding possession time and again and allowing them to build from the back.  I did call the subs right tho, predicting Dagnall and Mellis to come on.  Mind, I wasn’t expecting Noble-Lazarus (great game) to be taken off, not while Dawson could barely run (is he fit? He barely made a forward run all day.)  Anyway, I might not be the biggest fan of Mellis, but I consider him a decent sub.  He could do some damage coming on late when the opposition have tired to his pace.  And, actually, he did get 2 or 3 shots off – more than the rest combined.  Meantime, Daggers could run around hassling defenders.

And so it was that we limped over the line, albeit without Pollitt actually having to make a save.  Their keeper came up for a corner in the dying seconds, missed the cross by inches and M’Voto broke, running clear from the edge of our box, all the way into their half before prodding it wide of an open goal, much to their fans’ derision.  With impeccable timing though, our Premiership referee (you’d never guess) Mason blew for full time and the home cheers drowned them out.  Thank you Huddersfield – you saved us last season and maybe you’ll do so again!

Walking up the hill from Oakwell, I can only presume a fan was talking about the game when I caught ‘Allt’ finesse o’championship’.  Which summed it up perfick.  Thrills, spills, mistakes, energy, cluelessness, class, worry…there was summat for everyone.

*** O’Brien.  Whatthehell’s everyone on about?  Cracking game from our right wing back.

** Noble-Lazarus.  Ditto at left back.  There’s method to Flitcroft’s madness in selling Golbourne.  Reuben has a lot of goodwill behind him but needs to ensure his attitude remains tip-top.

* Wiseman.  Quietly efficient at M’Voto’s side.

Despatches:
Pedersen and O’Grady hit excellent goals but couldn’t hold a ball up all day.  The sponsors gave the Norweigan MOTM, presumably in an effort to meet his (allegedly) gorgeous girlfriend.  Well, it’s as good a reason as any.  Perkins looked…perky.  Intercepted lots of ball and strode forward while Dawson puffed and panted his way through in slow motion (getting a booking for a late challenge).  Etuhu was another who looked excellent in the 1^st half before disappearing while 41 year old Pollitt never put a foot wrong, coming and claiming every cross.  Though why Huddersfield didn’t think of testing him with some shots, I’m not sure.  As for M’Voto, he could well be the domineering centre half we’ve been waiting for.  Or he could be the new Matty Appleby, making a costly mistake every game.  Or the new Jim Beckenbauer-McNulty (God forbid), striding forward with the ball, never having it under control and losing it.  Note to Jean-Yves (I admit I’ve just had to look up his forename): stop thinking you’re a footballer and do what you do best – stop the opposition and give the ball to someone who knows what to do with it.

The journey back?  As ever, never as much fun when ‘there’s nothing to complain about’ (Slacki).  Drink du jour: a welcome return for red wine.  Though only one bottle (each) meant I wasn’t drunk enough to fall asleep on the bus home.  Andy Jones enjoyed a pie by ‘Andrew Jones pies’, which was apt.  Though one should never get high on one’s own supply.

It's good to be back (good to be back) – Come on you Reds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A

Austria Wien 2-3 Dinamo Zagreb, Tuesday 27th August 2013

Austria Wien 2-3 Dinamo Zagreb, att. 10,500 (capacity) (Champions League Play-off, 2nd leg)

Welcome to ...

A packed house (capacity: 10,500) at the Generali Arena, as homesters Austria Vienna took on the Bad Blue Boys of Dinamo Zagreb.  The prize?  A £10m windfall in the form of Champions League qualification, and a greater chance of repeating the whole process next year.  1. win league 2. scrape through qualification process 3. get mullered by everyone and finish bottom of the group.  Well, that's the plan.

Almost crane-like.

Pre-match was a doddle. Met up with Londontyke exiles Bob and Mo in the ‘Irish pub of the Year 2004’ for a couple of beers, before being guided into the southern Viennese suburbs via U-bahn and tram to Austria's ground.  And well done Bob's season ticket holding workmate for helping sort tickets.

Mo looks pleased to be in.

I know what the Austrian press has since written about the Bad Blue Boys (Dinamo’s ferocious support), so let me tell you another perspective of life as a Dinamo fan: Get to ground early; queue in orderly fashion, then watch as ALL the home fans are ushered past you and into the ground.  Although potentially running a narrow gauntlet past said fans, they stood patiently in their ‘kettle’, awaiting their turn.  Thus, Bob, Mo, Sarah and I took our seats.  10-15 minutes in, flares started landing on the pitch from behind the stand.  I stood on a chair. Over the dividing wall and lo!  The Zagreb fans STILL hadn't been allowed in.  Now, I know my team has little chance of ever getting a game in Europe, but I know how p***ed off I’d be if I was kept outside while the game was going on.

A flare lands on the pitch.

Presumably this was all an attempt to keep the fans segregated.  However, it's not Zagreb fans’ fault that they had to walk through the home turnstiles to get to the away block.  And when Zagreb scored, you could see pockets of Croatian fans on three sides of the pitch in the home ends, celebrating.  What do you do when the match is a sell-out?

...while away fans remain kettled outside.

2-0 up from the 1^st leg (against the odds), Austria notch again after 5 minutes.  I’d barely settled.  We’re in for an easy time of it, then.  Not a bit of it.  Zagreb pull their socks up and by half-time are leading 1-2.  Some of their fans might even have seen the 2^nd.

Dinamo fans celebrate scoring.

At half-time I declare I'm not having another beer but will buy anyone else one who cares for it.  The beer’s horrid.  Turns out to be alcohol-free, but surely alcohol doesn't taste of anything?  Bob had an inkling beforehand but presumed the lager-coloured liquid was the real thing.  No-one had another, although I felt the Croatian calling the kiosk servers ‘criminals’ for refusing him a litre of beer didn’t know what favour he’d gained.

The teams come out.

It was all Zagreb second half.  The best Austria could hope for was a break and that wasn't going to happen.  Time and again Zagreb swept forward. It was only a matter of time.  Then it came.  Despite heroics from the home keeper, he was beaten by a looping header.  Austria's dreams of Real Madrid, Bayern Munich et al looked depleted

Hilariously (given what comes), Zagreb throw on defenders for forwards.  They had done their job, 3-1 up, through on away goals.  So the game plan was blown to bits on 82 minutes when Austria scored on a breakaway, a sub of their own bundling in a cross.

Makeshift segregation at the back of the stand.

Thereafter, the game slowed.  Zagreb no longer had the personnel to attack, while Austria were happy to wind down the clock.  Full-time, 2-3 (4-3 on aggregate) and it was joy unconfined.  One or two Austrians were even in tears.  Getting through to the group stages meant everything to these fans (and players).  It was a welcome respite to the likes of Arsenal spending the season moaning about the competition before their usual early exit.

Unbelievable!  Austria are through!  

Good luck Austria.  Their group games will be played at the national stadium (capacity: 50,000) but they were unlucky with the draw, pulling Atletico Madrid, Zenit St Petersburg and Porto.  Maybe they’ll learn from their city mates Rapid, who did the same and sold out the stadium in 3 match packages.  However, they were forced to play the games behind closed doors and offered fans league games instead of a refund.  I shouldn’t laugh.

My summer of football was at a conclusion, I could concentrate on touristing with the other half.  Now, where’s the nearest palace?

The Damage:
€25 ent

Austria Wien wall.

Anti-missile devices.

The Champs Lge banner (?) gets an outing.

The teams line up.

A couple of Austrians show their colours.

Match action.

Zagreb fans still kettled after kick-off.

Down the touchline.

Club shop.

Spot the policeman.

RB Leipzig 1-1 MSV Duisburg, Sunday 18th August 2013

Raisonballsport Leizig 1-1 MSV Duisburg, att. 13,758 (3.liga)

Outside the Main Stand.

A fortnight after seeing RB lose a DFB Pokal game in front of 30,000, it's back to the 3.liga.  3 games in and both teams have had promising starts, two wins.  It's a chance to cement a leading berth

Getting to the stadium half an hour before kick-off, the queues were horrendous (on the main stand side).  Still, there were ticket booths on the opposite side so I headed there.  I knew there was a rabbit off though when the number of pedestrians dried up around the tower above the ‘Festwiese’ (the field next to the stadium).  The booths I had in mind were shut (the entire upper tier on that side was closed).  So they weren't expecting a big crowd.  As it was, 13,000 odd turned up.

The RB ultras, all-seated unlike every other German stadium.

Duisburg, forcibly relegated due to financial misdemeanors, have no respect for the parvenus of Red Bull.  A mainstay in the upper divisions, their fans bemoaned the lack of tradition of RB.  But whatever you think of the politics, the Red Bull Arena is simply one of the finest in the world, built within the old zentralstadion.  As the away turnstiles were next on our clockwise tour of the stadium we (my better half was also with me) slipped in there.  Although technically lower tier, the view was still fantastic, high up in the corner.

Match action.  RB go close.

The match started at a pace.  Leipzig could have been 3-0 up in 10 minutes, Bundesliga build-up play followed by 3.liga finishing.  Then MSV took the lead, a quick break, the forward clean through, he took it around the keeper, but with the angle diminishing and a covering defender sliding to the line, he had the wherewithawal to pull it back to give his mate a tap-in.  Cue celebrations in the stands for the ‘zebrafreundes’.  Why zebras?  MSV’s hoops are BLUE.

Harry the zebrafreunde was here.

The lead didn't last.  Within 5 minutes Red Bull got a free kick 25 yards out, which was curled left-footed into the corner.  Good finish, but essence of slow motion about it.  Keepers need to learn to take a couple of paces before diving.  And that was it.

After an entertaining first half, precisely nothing happened in the second, as evidenced by zero injury time.  Since when does that happen in a second half these days?  I missed the highlight at half time, the Duisburg fans waving rubber rings in the air and throwing them on the pitch.  Dunno what that was about.  They also unveiled a banner, probably the one I photo’d outside the stadium.  Red Bull are going to have to put up with more of this if their ascent continues.

The Duisburg players come to salute their following.

At the end, MSV fans cheered the result.  Despite being a big fish in a small pond, they're not optimistic of an automatic return.  I guess they’re relieved to even have a team following financial problems.

The Damage:

€15 ent

€3 beer

€3 badge

= €21

Match action, looking towards the main stand side.

Sektor C completely empty.

The beautiful curve of the stand.

Sektor D closed too.

Looking towards the far corner.

Even the seat patterns are beautiful.

Duisburg players take the acclaim.

Exiting over what used to be the terrace of the old zentralstadion.

What's not to like?

'Zebras have tradition'...RB do not.

The facade of the old main stand.