York City 1-0 Cheltenham Town, Friday 3rd April 2015

Welcome to ...

It's Easter Friday, your team isn't playing and you;re about 10 grounds off completing the 92.  Time to scan the fixtures and see where the other half would like a couple of days away.  York fits the bill nicely.  Great city, lots to see (the Quilt Museum!) and lots to drink and places to drink it in.

I'm not sure how to describe this strange structure tagged onto the Main Stand.

The ground, a stroll away from the city centre, is just like it used to be - which is why it was such a pleasure to go.  Terracing, ramshackle stands, low roofs...an atmosphere.  So get there while you can, cos it only turns out they're on the move, to the York Community Stadium, 8,000 capacity, the permission for which has just been passed by the council.  None of which I knew when I arrived, so all the more reason I did.  Having chatted to a few fans pre-match, they're looking forward to it. Without a move, the club was doomed, owing £2m in the near future as part of a loan taken out to pay the previous dodgy chairman (see the full story in one of David Conn's books).

The Pop Side (pay an extra quid)

Bootham Crescent.  Now I know why it's called a Crescent - every home fan has to come down one side of the ground to get in.  Even if you're in the Popular Side (seats on the far side), you have to go through the entrances to the home terrace and walk through them to the other side.  This MUST affect capacity.  Today, the Pop Side (do they call it that?) was full.  You couldn't even transfer from the terrace ('only £1') today.  I'd seen a sign outside that it was sold out.  Folk appeared to be parting with a token in order to be allowed in.  None of that there technology.

Queue while you watch (when the game's on; this is pre-match)

The stand itself looked like that crap stand at Palace, but on a smaller scale, seats bolted onto existing terracing.  Shame that at York, a couple of fences mark a no-man's land which limits the number of seats available.  They don't do THAT at Palace.  Still, how often have they sold out what seats they DO have this season?  (Every week, for all I know).

I elect to stand in the home end.  Cos a) I want York to win, and b) I couldn't face being stood out in the rain in the away end.  Given the limited number of terraces left in England, this seems one of the biggest.  It's the little things I like, such as the ramp which circles behind the terrace, so you don't have to push through others to get to the far end.  It's the food kiosk, built into the back of the stand, so you can still see the game while you order.  It's the number of flags the York ultras wave as their beloved team comes out.  (I notice 5 minutes later, the flags, all neatly furled, being taken to a supporters' club shed at the far end of the stand.  Handy.)

The teams come out.  The flags come out.

The ground seems busy, yet the eventual crowd barely scrapes 4,000.  Today is a crucial fixture in the battle to retain league status.  York are just outside the relegation zone while the Robins prop up the table.  But if York lose this and at home to Hartlepool next week (all-ticket!) then they really are in the s***.  It's all to play for.

The match is better than I expect, especially given the incessant drizzle.  There's some decent football out there, though chances are at a premium.  Despite York running the game, Cheltenham probably eke out the best couple of chances, showing how even it was.  As the game wore on I feared a goalless draw.  Coulson slammed a free kick off the far post and a scrambled goal was disallowed for offside. (As the home fans celebrated, I think I was the first one to spot the linesman's flag.)  Finally though, a corner to the far post was headed in and it was celebration time for a relieved home support.

A packed Pop Side

 
While feeling sorry for the drenched Cheltenham posse (250, a great turnout) I'm pleased for York. It seems to me that there are far too many traditional northern sides slipping into non-league, to be replaced by sides from faceless southern towns with no history.  I just hope York take their old-school programme shop with them to their new stadium.

Crowd: 4,171 (away: 250)

Now THIS is how to curry favour.  Wins my vote!

View from behind the goal

The Main Stand empties

Those drenched Robins

Note the roof extension

Yes, it's seen better days...

Match action

One fan parks his tractor outside the turnstiles

Bristol City 2-2 Barnsley, Saturday 28th March 2015

‘Gi’ us 3 points, tha dunt need ‘em’

Welcome to Ashton Gate

I love Bristol. Good pubs (when they’re open – ie, not before midday), pleasant city centre, the deep gorge of the river, Clifton.  Honestly, I’d almost consider living there.  Lucky them, I’m not budging.

On my tod, I decided against paying British Rail’s exorbitant fees and instead travelled in style – the Megabus. Still, Victoria’s easier to get to than Paddington.  As I kept reminding myself for the two and three quarter hours I was crushed up while trying to do some work.  I must get myself some standards.

'This way, sir'.

Met Phil 11ish.  Time for a pint.  Or time to look for a pint as I tried 5 or 6 pub doors.  Of course, when I let Phil try one, it magically opened.  Mind, we had diverted just outside the centre, close enough that we headed to Temple Meads for a taxi, which we timed just nice. A huge queue developed just after we got there, including none other than Reds director and FA bigwig Barry Taylor (and daughter?), resplendent in his FA badged suitcase.  ‘Wanna lift Bazza?’ we never asked.  (I’m still f.angry at the Colchester home debacle, a home game switched to Friday nite to allow folk to watch England on the Satdy.  Which folk, I wonder?)  Anyway, he saw Phil staring at him and quickly hid his BFC tie and tried to look nonchalant.  Who was it in the Bible denied Jesus 3 times?  Anyway, that’s who it reminded me of. (Peter?)

So, off to the Tobacco Factory where we met a newly driven in Selwood.  The rest you know: nice ales, quality food, friendly atmosphere.  Shame they’re getting promoted.  Still, to assuage ourselves, their fanzine has tipped us to win the play-offs. Which is generous of ‘em.

Naturally, when you have an away sellout, ‘you can sit where you like’.  Luckily, we find 3 together – only Phil’s disappeared. Hicksy turns up out of nowhere though and later bans me for saying anything unless asked a question.  I get round this by answering a different question to what he’s asked.  ‘What do you think of Scowen today?’  ‘I notice we look a lot more mobile up front without…err…whatshisname?’

M’Voto is back.  A fact few fail to realise as he steamrollers in late to give a needless early penalty away.  Sometimes, just sometimes, you have to be aware of your lack of speed and hold back, lad.  Pen is despatched.  The new keeper has yet to even show himself.

Finally!  The old away end (old old home end) is being replaced.

Then, little happens for the half.  We imagine league leaders City will press on and cane us, but it never happens. Then, the ball bobbles around their box and Jabo hits a snapshot. One-all.  You beauty.  I am forbidden to utter the ‘W’ name (Waring, dropped for Jabo), though Dave lets me cuddle him and THAT coat as we dance, sorry, jump around in the aisle. 

Second half – WOW.  For 25 minutes it is the best we’ve played all season.  We absolutely murder them, tearing forward at pace, switching play from wing to wing, they can barely get hold of it. Early doors we have 4 successive corners (George woulda bagged a hattrick!) but there’s no worry, we’ll score.  Then Jabo breaks free wide left, plays in Scowen who finishes as cool as you like.  What's going on?

A blustery day for the flags

Of course, you can’t rip into the league leaders away from home without them making an appearance at some point, and so it is.  Wildsmith makes a couple of great saves before finally succumbing with 10 mins left.  Could he have done better with it? Not sure, but it came through a few players. 

Overall, a decent result. If only we’d played against everyone as we’ve done against the champions-elect (home and away).  I can cede that we’re not in Swindon or Franchise’s class, but howthehell are Bristol 11 points clear???  

City's disabled 'stand' (and test railseats behind)

*** Ben Pearson of Manchester United.  He’s the clock which makes our team tick.  Makes tackles and interceptions and always makes time on the ball to pass to his own teammates.

** Jabo Ibehre of Colchester United.  His movement up front allowed us to attack with pace.  Imagine.  Scored a snap shot and set up the other. Imagine.

* Josh Scowen of Barnsley FC.  Ground himself into the ground with another full-blooded performance.  And his family were sat in our row (according to Hicksy, who appears to be on talking terms with granddad).  Great finish for his goal.

Londontykes top 3:
1. Ibehre
2. Pearson
3. Scowen

Despatches:
M’Voto came in for Holgate (Crainie switching to right back) and was solid apart from the pen.  Mind, a throughball completely did Crainie and Jean-Yves 2^nd half.  Thank goodness for Wildsmith in goal.  I can’t say we missed Davies, which is saying something.  Smith played well on the left (why’ve we signed that Cardiff bloke?) while the new winger (Stewart?) was anonymous. New midfielder Winnall was everywhere, including helping out in defence. He’ll never score from our own penalty area though.  Hourihane was playing.  Apparently. I guess he got lost in the pace of it all.

The old away end.  Not sadly missed.

Drink du jour: Started on ye olde cider, before discovering the Tobacco Factory had a wheat beer, brewed down the road.  Got a lift back with Dave. Never thought to get a 4-pack in to drink while he drove.  He wouldn’t have minded…would he?

Away: 510 (capacity!)   City are rebuilding the old away end, so the capacity’s a bit limited.  But I can tell you that the view and seats are a lot better at the other end, from the sh*thole that we used to be given, backless (bucket?) seats and all. 

The Damage:
15 Megabus
4 taxi to ground (my share)
20 ent
1.20 fanzine
3 prog

The tunes:
Tomorrow’s Harvest (Boards of Canada)
Geodaddi (Boards of Canada)

I had work to do, needed some ambient nonsense.

Nice to see a busy stand

And all that I knew was, that a hole in my shoe stand was ....

For years I've never known the time in the away end.  Now I know why.

Barnsley 1-1 Preston North End, Saturday 21st March 2015

'Wants to see a Barnsley team that's only got loan faces'

'Drink yer pint and f*** off.'  The soon to be deceased Groggers' Rest.

Bad news pre-match, our entire midfield is out: Pearson and Scowen.  And what with O'Sullivan being recalled after today (have Blackburn realised he can actually PLAY?) then there MUST be a recall for Berry or Jennings.  No. We have yet another loanee thrust into the mix, Cameron Stewart from Ipswich, played out wide with O'Sullivan switched to centre mid.  And it almost comes off early doors, with O'Sullivan firing a long shot just wide and Stewart bamboozling the full back before whipping an early ball in (nobody there).  Admittedly this was better than his first touch, when he let a gentle pass trundle under his foot for a throw-in.

True fact: Wearing a hat in Preston makes you 'gentry'.

After an even first 20 mins or so, PNE took control and could have scored 3.  Davies made one unbelievable save, one fabulous save and one bread and butter.  If we could only limp to half time goalless...Sadly not.  There's any amount of folk in the box yet we allow Preston to have not one but two free men on the back post and top scorer Garner prods it home while full back Declan John is actually stood wide of the goal..protecting what exactly?  PNE putting it out for a goal kick?  There was still time for North End to blaze another shot over from 10 yards.  We were getting mullered.

Half time came and Barnsley put a different side out 2nd half.  O'Sullivan ran at them, Hourihane probed and John supported from full back.  Chances were still at a premium till Crainie met a cross with the back of his head, 6 yards out.  Over the bar!  I don't believe it.  (I believe it.)  Jennings comes on for Stewart.  Absence makes the memory fade.  Is he even FATTER than the last time he plodded around looking overweight?  He proceeds to look awful for 17 minutes, puffing and panting every time he's jogged 20 yards. Dale - what is happening to your career?  Have a look at yourself, you're p***ing your career away.

Excellent turnout from the Lilywhites; biggest of the season (thus far).

At the same time, Ibehre comes on for Very (Waring) and does in 6 minutes what Waring has....no, don't compete that sentence, Loko will combust.  O'Sullivan holds a ball up wide right, lays it to Holgate, who whips in a cross for Jabo to head home.  Where was the marking?  Are we THAT good?  Jabo has no-one near him 5 yards from goal. Who cares!?  You beauty!

Both teams then carry on at each other, looking for a winner in the last 15 or so, but a draw was a fair result, whatever the stats say:  We had ONE shot on target to their 5, 6 or 8 (I've read 3 reports and no-one can agree how many saves Davies made).

'Sir Tom Finney Preston Legend.'

*** Davies.  Kept us in it.  Since Turnbull's injury he's played 8, won 6, drawn 2, conceded 2 and saved f***loads.

** O'Sullivan.  Played 8, won 6, drawn 2.  Statistically the most successful player in Barnsley's history?  Today was a fitting tribute to his efforts, Twitter MOTM and afterwards he took the applause from all around.  He really looks like someone who enjoys playing for us. I hope he's back, you never know.

* Crainie.  A stalwart in defence, tackles, headers.

Londontykes top 3:
1. O'Sullivan
2. Davies
3. Crainie

Despatches:
Nyatanga partnered Crainie well.  John looked better going forward than defending.  Holgate was composed, while I thought Hourihane had a decent game (the other travelling Londontykes disagreed).  I also thought Waring had a good game, winning headers, holding balls up.  Didn't get close to having an effort at their goal, but hey, it's not like he's a centre forward or anything. Someone who IS a centre forward is Sam Winnall.  So we played him wide midfield.  By the end of the game he even had the ignominy of having to watch Kane Hemmings come on to partner Ibehre up front. I like Ibehre.  It's been a while since we've had a headless chicken.  As I said, let's take the point, cos if you saw the finishing 11, you wouldn't fancy our chances.

The teams line up.

I saw a few Laurel and Hardys (Hardies?) pre-match, but it turned out it was 'Gentry Day' for the North Enders (or Nob Enders as Burnley call them).  In fact, one Nob Ender ran on the pitch after they scored, to the halfway line. Now, I wouldn't mind if he ran around, zig-zagging stewards, but instead, he sobered up and walked off to a waiting Day-Glo.  What's he expecting?  To be escorted back to the away end?

Previously, in 'tarn' there was many an away fan and police outside virtually every pub.  There was a rowdy lot in the #7 and since the bar was extremely busy, we went to Chennels for one last cheeky one...where the bar was extremely busy.  Still, made a change.

The Ponty, slightly fuller than usual.

Drink du jour: JD and coke, after dodging the Blunt pr*cks (no, not an oxymoron) outside The Howard calling for the 'Piggy ba5tards to show themselves' after Washday's trip to Rovrum.  Tell me again why BFC v Sheffield United is a 12:15pm KO, when today, Barnsley, Washday, Rovrum and the Blunts all played simultaneously in South Yorks? It's always OUR home games wot get switched.  Why?

Crowd: 12,471 (away: 2,920).  Biggest of season.

Pre-match in Grove Street

Pre-match at the home end.

Leyton Orient 0-0 Barnsley, Tuesday 17th March 2015

‘My Big Fat Gypsy St. Patrick’s Night’

Courtesy of my photographer...

Good God, I am STILL trying to get over what I saw t'other night – and I’m not referring to the match. Picture the scene: back street east end boozer, much of a muchness, a decent smattering of customers, virtually all male and of a certain age, when about 8 young ladies turn up in outfits the good burghers of Newcastle would class as ‘immodest’. If I said it was ALL out on display, it was ALL out on display. I would not lie if I said some of their skirts were 6 inches short. You can imagine how much THAT covers. And then another of the gang came in and her melons were the size of...MELONS.  I don't know how that top kept 'em in.  Still, took everyone’s minds off the football. Though it was disappointing not to see any of Tim, Slacki or Loko have a crack at one of them. (As Loko said later, he 'wasn’t taking his life into his hands').  Did someone say it was like a scene FROM Snatch or OF snatch?  I don't remember The Birkbeck ever being like this when it was my local.        

A heady mix of fog and lower division floodlights.

   
The match (there was a match?) was made even more bizarre for me later on.  If I'd gone from my old local pre-match, I was now drinking in my old HOME, Leyton Town Hall, now 'The Technical'.  (I presume the council's Technical Dept used to be based in the rooms the pub now used.)  Just a shame they hadn't made the council chambers upstairs into a poolroom, as we did, nor have illicit parties in the old ballroom (which really is a thing of beauty).

Consider yourself warned.

The match?  Well, being on Gerrywatch, I sat right at the front, ie, where I least like to watch a game from.  I hope it looked better from upstairs, cos from where I was sat we created FA and had Davies to thank for pulling off 2 blinding one-on-ones (again).  Apparently, he saved his best for when I hadn't yet returned at half time.  So make that 3 blinding saves.  Mark my words, this was a point won, not two lost.

Despite not alot happening, the ref still managed to send off one of our midfielders for missing a tackle.  Being how slow motion it all was, we were amazed when said midfielder was red-carded.  For a split second we all hoped it was Hourihane, but, naturally, you have to make a tackle to miss one, so it wasn't him.  That's Lalkovic out for 3 games then.  Funny, once the the red card came out, the Orient player stopped rolling around and promptly got up and walked away like nothing had happened.  Tw*t.  Still, a welcome return of 'You're just a soft southern ba5tard', which, quite frankly, you don't hear often enough these days.

Home end and (the other) Main Stand.

*** Davies
** No-one.  No idea who played well from where I was sat.
* Though I know it wasn't Waring!

Londontykes top 3:
1. Davies
2. Scowen
3. No-one / Pearson

Drink du jour: It was St. Paddy's Night and Guinness was £3 a pop.  So make mine a San Miguel.  (Later, The Technical had Krusovice which is rather an excellent pint of lager; another reason to go there.)  I don't know what happened at the Birkbeck, but they obviously missed a trick...Paddy's Night AND a match yet they only had one barman on.  And believe me, he worked harder than anything on the football pitch that night.

Away: 577. Bl**dy gloryhunters!

The Technical Pub, Leyton.  I lived here once.

No camera can do justice to this gentleman's hair colour.

Oldham Athletic 1-3 Barnsley, Saturday 14th March 2015

'A trotter w*nk'

The away turnstiles.  I'll not be using these today!

I can count on the fingers of one finger the number of times I've been in the exec for an away match - today.  So cheers to Isy (sp?) and his contacts.  There were only 3 rules: 'Collars, shoes and no cocks out.'  Make mental note not to forget the 'no' bit.  Today was all about seeing how the other half lives!

I have a disastrous start to my day as I 'lose' my Euston to Manchester ticket.  I am adamant I picked up all the tickets from the machine.  One of the tickets even says '4 vouchers'...and I have 4 (turns out it should be 5, including the receipt.  WTF!?)  Anyway, ticket office woman says I can buy a new ticket.  I politely decline the offer and I think she perceived by my rage that perhaps I hadn't handed on the ticket to someone else and was trying to 'chance it'.  THEN she tells me 'oh yeah, this happens about 15 times every 20 minutes' (very specific).  So, I'm on a train 40 mins late, valuable exec drinking time.  No need to worry - Oldham Athletic don't open till 1pm. Just meet the lads in a Manchester boozer and there'll be a Stella waiting at the bar.  Classy.

SportsDirect.com Park main entrance

Course, this being a beano, there'll be none of that public transport to Oldham.  It's taxis all the way. I'm liking this.  Turn into a housing estate, then a car park, and it turns out we're at the SportsDirect.com Park.  I kid you not.  Still, if it's good enough for Newcastle...

The exec suite is a box like structure squeezed into a small area by the touchline. Maybe 3 boxes with a dining area consisting of 5 tables big enough for 10 folk each.  Still, there's a bar and fair play to Oldham, making the best of the space available.  (Their new stand looks like it'll have exec boxes galore.)

Yes boss!

Pre-match, the man with the mic brings us a couple of Oldham players who won't be making the game today.  I recognise one of them...why, it's only Jacob 'Ba5tard F***ing' Mellis, attacking midfield maestro and prime architect of last season's BFC relegation.  Jonesy refuses to turn around, keeping his back to him and I manage to contain my anger till he's leaving.  'LAZY BA5TARD!'  I'm sorry, I forget I'm a guest.  (Note to future corporate treatees; rule number 4: no shouting at random players in the exec suite.)

Jacob BF Mellis.  Injured.  (Handy)

We herd into our box, we're sharing, but that's fine.  All the rough lads belong in our set.  There's a couple of Oldham fans in there but it mainly seems to be full of the local knitting circle.  They don't return after half time.  To be fair, most of ours don't either.  With a fair portion of Ipswich supporting lads unused to lower division footie, the call of lager and chat was infinitely more appealing.  (We'll not mention we'd already seen how good Ipswich are, tonked 4-1 by Boro in Sky's lunchtime game.)

My nosebag.

For them wot wonder these things, the pre-match tucker was mushroom soup (uuuurgh), followed by meat and 4 veg. When was the last time I've eaten cauliflower?  When's the last time any of YOU have eaten cauliflower?  (And I don't mean 'cauliflower cheese', I mean actual, real-life, boiled cauliflower).  Dessert was profiteroles.  My swap of earlier soup for an extra portion of these sweet treats was the deal of the day as far as I'm concerned. Bootiful.  Really really bootiful.

The Super Reds..errr Yellows.  Why?

For 30 minutes this match was dross of the highest (lowest?) order.  Two teams plodding about in midfield with nary a chance, or a shot, between them.  Then we have a free kick, Hourihane whips it in and someone (Scowen?) possibly gets a touch on it.  The keeper makes a ballacks of it and Nyatanga is one of about 4 Reds players who coulda knocked in the rebound.  GET IN!  Within minutes, we're two up.  Hourihane breaks his (most) recent famine by rifling it in from 15 yards. Well, actually, one of their players boots the ball off him and it goes in.  Who says the luck isn't with us right now?

We are completely in control.  So much so, I'm regaling Andy with how we'll never concede another goal EVER...when we do.  Oh, how the Oldham fans laughed.  Not too much though - they were still losing.  Andy apologised, 'it's just his sense of humour'.  Perhaps he thought they thought I was serious?  Looked a smart move too, a nifty little pass, a turn and a cool finish into the bottom corner. 1st goal conceded in nearly 500 minutes.  'We've only done that to make it interesting.'

The view from the box

2nd half, Oldham looked decent bets to bag an equaliser, they were certainly pressing. So we went upfield and bagged another set-piece goal.  (I read somewhere we're the set piece kings of this division.  Really?)  A corner is headed against the post...many of us thought it had gone in...but luckily (that word again!) Nyatanga is there on the rebound.  Again.  He's the Jimmy Greaves of central defence.  In so many ways.  Another week, another win. I asked my mate Buzz on the way back how long this would go on for?  'Infinity and beyond' apparently.

There's still time for a sending off, a 2nd yellow for obstructing Scowen.  Lots of comedy booing from home fans who felt hard done by.  I thought the ref generally done good, not falling for the various diving antics of the home side.  Just like at Oakwell, allegedly.

Can I reflect on the reflections?  Annoying.

Full time, the Oldham MOTM Mike Jones (the scorer) came to speak to us.  What a reward for being their best player.  When asked about ex-manager Johnson he got his biggest cheer; 'I don't even wanna mention him.'  Fair play.

*** Nyatanga.  Goalscorer supreme and solid in defence.  A different beast to the one booed off at Crawley.

** Pearson.  Ran midfield.  Isn't he an Oldham lad?

* Scowen.  Put himself about.

Londontykes top 3:
1. Nyatanga
2. Pearson
3. Scowen

Despatches:
The new left back didn't do owt. Still, I guess an 18 year old Smith can't last the full season.  Waring won a few headers.  Davies pulled off an absolute worldy at 1-3 with 5 mins left, tipping a header over the bar.  Otherwise, only a few bread and butter saves.  Lalkovic ran at their players, then disappeared.  Hourihane was MOTM - according to the Football League Paper (?)  Crainie and Holgate were sound.

Away: c2400 plus 2 in the exec box

Drink du jour: Erdinger Weissbier.  You get a higher calibre of supermarket at Manchester Piccadilly (Little Waitrose).

Sparse turnout for the 2nd half

The Damage:
£20 ent.  Here's the deal.  Call the game all-ticket 'depending on how many people buy tickets' (?) then say it's not all-ticket the day before.  So, I had a ticket...but obviously I got a better offer.

£0 programme.  Why are programme free when you're rich enough to be in the exec box?  Only kidding.  I'll have two.

Tunes.  It's not quite 'the 8:15 from Manchester' (obscure reference to children's 80s telly) but I went all Manc on the way up...New Order, Inspiral Carpets (Oldham's finest) and Black Grape.

Oldham MOTM looking suitably unimpressed

The Oldham exec area

The new stand.  Carbon copy of Leyton O?

The home end