The latest embarrassment was the worst of the season, for me. (Reedy still claims Leyton O, but I wasn’t there). On Satdy we were played off the park in BOTH halves by another midtable side who have NOTHING to play for. Yet they ran about, they pressed, they made themselves available, they always looked to the front foot. It was everything we’re not. They coulda (shoulda) been 3 or 4 nil up by half-time. (Others said as many as 6). My favourite miss was when their lad put it wide from 6 yards, with an empty net. The keeper made a diving save too, but mostly, it was just poor misses.
In contrast, we had one effort of any note. Connell chipped a great pass through for Humphreys to control with his chest and...blaze over from 8 yards. OK, the keeper’s in close proximity, but all he has to do is get it on target. Just knock it under the keeper into the open goal, rather than paralyse someone in Row X.
But it’s ok, we’ve made it to half time, goalless. A chance for Coach Clarke to reset. Another inspirational teamtalk, some tactical tweaking, maybe a sub. He sends them out identical. If we had the ball (which we had plenty) we had one tactic: hoof it long behind their fullbacks to…to WHO? Every single time, their fullback turned around and collected, or the centre half came across, and possession was ceded. Or it went down the middle to the keeper. This isn’t a one-off. This IS what amounts to us trying to score a goal*. It was repeatedly tried at Rovrum to slightly better success, as their defenders blatantly didn’t know what to do with the ball, and we eked a penalty out of it. Blackpool’s defenders had us on toast all day. Listen, Coach Clarke, it might be the 3rd division but these players are PROFESSIONALS. (I’m referring to the Blackpool players here.) They will not simply give it back to us in their third. This is not Sunday football. (The lack of any kind of press exacerbates the issue.)
*ok, there’s the ‘hopefully DKD will pick up the ball in the final third, beat a player and curl it home from 20 yards’. But that’s hardly a tactic...is it?
Thus the second half started. It took 11 minutes for Blackpool to score. A Tangerine (capital ‘T’) ran 40 yards unchallenged, before burying it into the bottom corner from 20 yards. Another one that went under Smith’s right hand, a la Charlton. I think I see a weakness. But at the point of shooting, there are FOUR Reds players in close proximity to the shooter and NONE of them are putting in a tackle or block. We have given up.
Will Coach Clarke make a change before or after they score a second? He brings on Nwakali and Benson for Connell and Watters. Does that mean we’re not playing with a centre forward? (Insert hilarious caption here.) Within 3 minutes it’s 0-2. A harmless looking cross to the back post is headed in by former Red Fletcher. At least he didn’t celebrate, but I wouldn’t have minded if he did. How does ONE player get inbetween Farrugia, Conor Barrett and the goalkeeper, to score? (By the way, if we have 5 ‘top class centre halves’ according to our leader, what is Barrett?)
It’s ok tho, cos Coach Clarke brings on Rodrigues for the aforementioned Barrett. A centre forward for a centre half. All out attack, then? Does Rodrigues even touch the ball? (Yes, he does. I distinctly remember him touching the ball. Does he touch it twice? I can’t remember a second time, but he definitely touches it at least once in his 25 minute (plus injury time) trot out.)
By now, we’re trying a different tactic (oh yes!). Nwakali appears to be playing right centre half, and is orchestrating all our possession, which invariable is playing the ball forward through the lines to feet, whereupon a Russell, or someone, would hold it up, lay it off…then that player would lose it. Every time. Did we have a shot?
Another pacey attack for the visitors brings a fine save out of Smith, but the loose ball is gobbled up from close range. What ARE our defenders doing (FYI: O’Keefe, Roberts, McCarthy, Farrugia)? No Earl to blame this week, though Barrett was an able deputy. (As in, I don’t rate either.)
There’s still 17 minutes left, not that 80% of the home end will see it. Once again, we are left with the masochists and idiots. Blackpool fans start chanting ‘You’re so sh*t it’s unbelievable’, gaining a round of applause from the home areas, before a few in the Ponty give it ‘We’re so sh*t it’s unbelievable’.
Onwards and upwards!
*** DKD. I trust his transfer request is already in. Needs to play for someone else next season.
** Russell. Generally kept possession
* Nwakali. Plays the ball FORWARD on the FLOOR to players wearing RED. The novelty of it. Marked down for only being on pitch half an hour.
Official MOTM: DKD.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. No-one 2. No-one 3. DKD/No-one
Despatches:
Let’s start with the players. O’Keeffe? S***. Farrugia? Hapless. Barrett? Hopeless. McCarthy? Clueless (This is starting to sound like the 7 Dwarves.) Roberts? Crap. Connell? Rubbish. Humphreys? Weak. Watters? Anonymous. Rodrigues? Pathetic. Benson? Actually, didn’t look that bad. Smith? Average. Special mention to Bailey McCann, coming on at 0-3 in the 88th minute. We are now GIVING AWAY appearances. It reminds me of Man U, away, where Coach Clarke sticks in Jalo and Yoganathan – 2 youngsters with little first team pedigree and we’re whacked 7-0 by the worst Manure team in living memory.
This is all poor timing, what with season ticket renewal about to come up. Crap football, poorly performing players, awful signings…and random kick off times. I am worried. The club and I are just hoping that 8,000 people renew out of habit, to help the club, etc...cos if we don’t renew, the club has no budget, we sign even worse (cheap) players, and we disappear for the next 20 years.
I’m saving a rant about our recruitment for another week cos I don’t know where to start. What I will say is that the only decent signing we’ve made in the last 2 windows (DKD) was hardly a scouting masterpiece – anyone who picks up a Sunday paper (remember those?) could see him scoring every other week in division 4.
Oh, and Michael Duff got sacked at Huddersfield yesterday. I’d have him back tomorrow, I really would. This has gone far enough.
And just as I finish writing this, my XG correspondent comes good. 1.31 v 2.76. 1.31? I am gobsmacked. I thought we created as little as we have done all season. That Humphreys miss is doing a lot of lifting, but I wouldn’t have that higher than about 0.4. What did I miss?* What other shots or chances did we possibly have???
*It was a balmy afternoon in the sun. Diane had given away my seat to some juvenile Geordie and I went and sat downstairs with Reedy. Consequently, with little happening on the pitch – for us – my eyelids were given to closing. Did we have a cheeky shot every time I nodded off? I know I fell asleep inbetween the award of a corner, and it being taken. The subsequent crowd groan woke me up. O’Keeffe had delivered yet another awful set piece, low to the first man. It’s bad enough that he can’t defend...
Drink du jour: House Party IPA in Spiral. ‘Home Fans Only’ said a hastily scrawled sign (part of a set of two with TAFKA The Arcade Ale House. (I forget what it’s called these days, but something nowhere near as good.)
Away: 826. They enjoyed themselves.
The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
= c. £8
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