It’s Coach Conor’s debut in the home dugout. What delights has he for us today? Well, Flavell makes his home debut, decision #1 being not to bring in yet another loan keeper. (Knowing us, we’d bring back Liam Roberts, currently out 6 games suspended for his kung fu kick on Matete t’other week.) He also gives another right wingback start to Bensons for Beds. I wonder how that will pan out? Plus Pines is in for Roberts, so presumably there’ll be some amusement to be had. He’s also picked Connell AND Nwakali, a midfield partnership that’s worked zero times thus far. When does it stop being ‘an experiment’ and become ‘a failure’? Oh, and Watters leading the line. (‘Leading’???)
It is s***. But at least I have Slacki, Loko and Hicksy for company in the Heritage Stand, as the tourists decide Cambridge home is one they really can’t afford to miss. Guaranteed home victory against guaranteed relegatories (this week’s made-up word). It takes 9 minutes for Cambridge to go ahead. Pines meekly heads it down against an opponent, who looks up, plays the pass and his mate is through on the left. MdG has been caught out, and the subsequent shot appears to go THROUGH Flavell. We are losing to a set of pottery. (Check out their kit!)
Worse, we are not 20 minutes in when Bensons for Beds gets injured (again). What a pitiful sight he looked as he trudged off. I just hope he’s made enough out of Barnsley FC that he never has to work again, cos he’s not getting days off as a hospital porter for some of his negligible injuries. Though I can see a sprained ankle coming as he pushes trollies at Asda. Maybe he can become a hair model. He has super nice hair. Though he’d probably have to rule himself out for another month with a split end.
On comes Jonathan Bland, and after looking like the latest academy product to be given a freebie, he looks alright, actually. Certainly it helped that he didn’t have to defend, as Cambridge shuffled backwards and into position as we went square, square, backwards, square…then maybe a low through ball forward from Nwakali (if we waited long enough). I heard the Radio Sheffield reporter claim it was difficult cos they got 11 men behind the ball. Well, perhaps if we counter-attacked with any pace. ‘But we don’t have any pace’. OK, then, it would be good if we actually recruited anybody with pace. (back to recruitment again). Cotter is still our fastest player, and he’s injured. (I mean, he's still our fastest player, even if he has only one working leg.)
Course that means the regular RWB is playing LWB, and he’s predictably awful. If only we had a left footed left back. Ah, but we do…Georgie Gent. I refer the honourable ladies and gentlemen to my previous remark about recruitment. Still, inbetween all these squareballs we put a cross in. Watter elects not to go for goal but supplies the perfect nod down for DKD to control it, 8 yards out, and drag it wide. And there’s your first half action over. (Earlier, Cambridge had somehow missed an open goal from 6 yards, so let’s not pretend the lead flattered them.)
Coach Conor rings the changes at half-time, doing absolutely NOTHING. ‘Are you Coach Clarke in disguise?’ sings nobody, cos nobody was singing. By now, it’s chucking it down, so I muse that things could be worse...we could be sat in the lower tier, whose penguins are now all huddling towards the back, trying to stay dry. (Their chicken brethren have already asked the stewards to open the exit gates to go home. And YES, there were a few.) Watters has another superb headed knockdown dragged wide. This time it’s Adam Phillips, and at least it’s a respectable 18 yards out, but it’s a chance, nonetheless.
Watters' reward for being not as poor as usual is to be hauled after the hour. Humphreys comes on to make no difference, save for his usual one effort after cutting inside from the right. (I wouldn’t mind, but by that time Jalo was playing wide right, so we had TWO players taking up one position.) Yes, Jalo is back. HURRAH! He’s come on for Connell (hurrah!) while Russell is on for Pines and we’re going to a back 4. ACTUAL changes. Coach Conor might get a head coach position yet.
Jalo is fed plenty of the ball on the wing and his first input is to be fouled. But, at last, there’s something to watch, as he tries single-handed to break them down. It’s not long before he’s being double-marked, which must mean one of the other useless gets is free, but they never seem to be. As the ball ends up played back once again, I deduce that spare man is Flavell. The mercurial Portuguese meantime continues to entertain and frustrate in equal measure; if he beats a player, the cross is poor, the shot is over. But he’s TRYING to make a difference, and that goes a long way with me after watching us attack (and fail) the same way ad nauseum for 2 months.
With around 15 left, Coach Conor plays his last card, the Yank Lewis coming on for Phillips. There’s an appeal for a penalty as a ball is smashed into a Cambridge player’s hands...which are somewhere near his head. It’s a penalty all day in the Prem with VAR, but there’s no way the linesman could possibly see it, directly in line with no-one impeding his view, as he was. Or the ref, who really didn’t want to give a cheap equaliser (the defender being barely in his own box). Then, from nothing, DKD hits a 25 yarder off the bar. ‘That’s it’ we all think...before Jalo receives the ball out wide in the second of 3 minutes injury time and puts an inswinger in to the back post for that man Lewis to force home. Pandemonium! Well, a gratefully received equaliser at home to relegation certs. One must give thanks even for morsels.
Onwards and upwards!
*** Jalo. Yes, he lost the ball. Players who take on opponents do. But he provided more entertainment in half an hour than the team has in 2 months. Put the equaliser on a plate.
** Bland. A couple of mistakes early on, but became more confident as the game developed.
* Flavell. Made a great save to keep it at 0-1.
Official MOTM: Bland.
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. Jalo 2. Bland 3. Russell
Despatches:
74% possession. Total football! But what’s the point of possession if you’re not going to do anything with it? Remember the days of Hecky in the Championship? Regularly, 40% possession and beating teams cos we had pace on the counter? Now we get the ball, and trundle around till the opposition have everybody back. People used to say watching long ball is boring, but is there anything more boring than watching a lower division Manchester City?
XG today was 1.45 v 0.4. Finally, we get the upperhand, as well as under perform. How do we manage both?
Drink du jour: House Party IPA in Spiral. Shout out to Lord S who got very angry at me drinking what was left of MY half after he’d poured most if it into his pint. (Jonesy was carrying his half.)
Away: 266. Looked fewer. Sounded fewer (but louder than us).
The Damage:
c.£8 petrol
= c. £8
** Owner/Chairman Neerav was interviewed on Radio Sheffield Friday nite. The jist was we’re trying to live within our means...the board has had to put money in as capital (not debt)...around £6m...players may have to be sold...we have a team/squad that should be top 3 or 4 ‘based on underlying stats’ (which are never explained)...and at least 5 of our players will play in The Championship within the next 3 or 4 years. Cue Adie Moses being put on the spot Satdy as to who the 5 might be..MdG...if he cuts out his mistakes...Adam Phillips...DKD...and maybe Connell (but not based on form this season)...’so three and a half’ was his honest analysis. I concur. Co-com (Adam Oxley) put it to him that Georgie Gent will too, based on what he’s seen this season. I could have fallen off my chair, if I wasn’t standing up in the kitchen. But Neerav might be right. Devante Cole is Championship (albeit West Brom bench) so some of our players will undoubtedly get the odd game at a higher level (if their agent is worth his salt). I’d love to know what the ‘underlying statistics’ are that make us out to be a top 4 team tho. Coach Clarke may well have failed to get the best out of certain players, but another way of looking at it is that we’re expected to challenge for promotion with a side who need at least 6 players replacing should we have gone up (presuming we didn’t sell any of the 5, as we did with Pinnock..Kiefer Moore...and Liam Lindsay...last time we got promoted).
*Christ. Last time we went up we had players like those three plus Woodrow, Mowatt, Styles, Thiam, Cavare, Jacob Brown. Need I go on? And that team only came SECOND. This team is where it should be. Midtable 3rd division.
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