Yes, we were ahead within 12 minutes, as DKD darted inbetween two statuesque defenders to lob the keeper, himself stranded in no-mans land. Then, with the half hour up, we were away and cruising, as DKD played in Phillips to lash home, low. Honestly, what had happened to Lincoln? Last season, they came to Oakwell and tore us apart, 5-1. Now they looked on a par with Crawley Town.
Still, they had half-time to hope. Given our second half form this season, who didn’t expect us to collapse? Instead, their backline mess up and gift Georgie Gent on the backpost after good work from DKD and Humphreys. Georgie Gent! Finally paying off some of that 200k we spunked on him? Not so fast. An Impish ball to our backpost has Gent falling over himself and chesting it down for them to score. WTAF? If he wasn’t there, he’d have done a better job.
To be fair, the team tinkering had already begun. Why wouldn’t you start subbing players at two nil? Watters is on for Humphreys, while O’Keeffe was hauled for Lembikisa at half-time. The coup de grace is Benson for Beds (he’s seen enough of them) on for Phillips. Mind, all looks rosy again when Watters is played through on the halfway line. (Benson actually won the ball.) He strides forward to the edge of the box, bamboozles the defender, drops a shoulder, goes right, and drives the ball across the keeper into the far bottom corner. Absolutely superb.
Of course, the game is won now. Bob thinks it’s a chance to boost our goal difference. The coach thinks otherwise. Gent is off (injured). A chance for Conor Barrett to unimpress at right back, with Lembikisa to continue his awfulness on the opposite flank. Who are these people who think playing left back and right back are the same thing? Have they ever tried it? He also drags DKD for Rodrigues (‘the baguette munching Frenchman’). I am at least pleased for those who’ve never seen this bloke play before. Admit, it, you’ve forgotten what he was like already.
Within two minutes, the Imps make it 4-2. Barrett has yet to figure where he’s meant to be standing, and the ball is played into the space where a right wing back might normally be expected to be. An Imp runs onto it and leaves Earl for dead. Earl is running in treacle. He always is. Still, a smart finish from their player, burying it low off the far post. (I’ll get to the finishing later.)
With 6 mins (plus injury time) left, all the talk is whether we can throw this away, a la Ipshit all those years ago. I am weirdly confident. I must say though, I’m placing my faith in Lincoln’s inability rather than...
We are 2 minutes into the added time when Barrett inexplicably lets their player wriggle past him. PLEASE let this cameo be the first and last I see of this guy. He is TERRIBLE. (There’s a reason he can only sneak a rare place on the bench.) A mad scramble ends in the inevitable…a toe poke into our net...and FINALLY. Game on! Some jeopardy! Suddenly it’s all hands to the decks as a defence containing Barrett, Lembikisa, Earl and Roberts attempt to hang on, while all other outfielders are haring around like they CARE. And, if anything, we looked more likely to break and score. But we didn’t. Cos we’re still not good enough.
Onwards and upwards!
*** DKD. He’s on FIRE! Who’s betting he’ll still be here next season?
** Roberts. Won his challenges and remained composed. That’s two in a row.
* Russell. Another tidy performance linking up midfield and up top.
Official MOTM: Russell (I think).
Londontykes’ MOTM: 1. DKD 2. Roberts 3. Russell
Despatches:
Well done all concerned on the new flag. Looked great, though I’m not sure about ‘Barnsley FC – a rare delight’. Rare in what way? That there’s only one of them (Barnsley FC)? Or ‘rare’ in that they usually fail to deliver (especially at home)? Works both ways, I guess. Putting my sensible head on, I’d have gone ‘Spectamur Agendo’. Let us be judged by our acts. For you will be. Players, coaches, owners...Directors of Recruitment. And I guess someone already has Billy Casper giving it the two fingered salute for their own flag, otherwise I’d have that an’ all. But hey! Baby steps. (We’re a little away from Standard Liege having a banner for a returning player showing a fan having cut off said player’s head with a machete, blood dripping, head in one hand, machete in the other.)
XG today 0.82 v 1.65. What can it all mean? Well, it tells you that we outperformed our expected tally. It tells you that the shots we took don’t normally end up in goals, ie, they were either blinding finishes, or the keeper has messed up. It was the former, barring Gent nicking one from a panicky defence (and even that was a good finish, cutting in and finishing with his wrong foot). But, as ever, we’re relying on good hits. As were they.
No MdG today. We didn’t appeal his red card midweek, which tells me there was enough in it to give it. McCarthy stood in and we won again. Anyone would think it’s coincidence. Maybe it is. Connell was suspended too but Nwakali didn’t help himself, having his worst game yet, losing the ball in dangerous areas. Everyone agreed Lembikisa was as bad, if not worse, once he’d switched sides. Good job he was only on for 45. O’Keeffe was poor, Gent same. I thought Earl was average, which in his world, is above average. I’m not sure the keeper saved owt (remember: he turned their XG of 1.42 into 3!). Oh, hang on, he did, smothering a 1-on-1 at 3 or 4-1. Humphreys and Phillips had their moments, though the former is not a centre forward, even if you play him there.
And then there’s Max Watters. Nothing makes you appreciate a centre forward than not having one. That French bloke? The Orish wingback? Aidy Marsh? Honestly, Max Watters came back looking like a combo of Nat Lofthouse, Tommy Lawton and Alan Shearer. I imagine. Either way, he looks a class above the alternative, and I applaud him for it. (I’d still accept a refund in a heartbeat.) So good in fact, the Ponty were singing his name to the tune of Billy Joel’s ‘We didn’t start the fire’. It was always burning since the world’s been turning. (I used to love that song. Still do. Note to the PA: you;ve binned the dirge that is Hey Jude, replaced it with that whine about taking me home…let’s get the ground chanting Watters’ name!!!! I’ll get the petition for Billy Joel now!
Oh, and then I jetted off to see Fatdog in Manchester. I was a bit surprised, wearing my Reds shirt, to get a ‘YOOO REDDDS!’ from some young lad who wasn’t even born when said shirt was first worn. Fatdog were unbelievable too. File under ‘need to be seen to be believed’.
Drink du jour: House Party IPA in Spiral, Weihenstephaner (Sheffield Tap), Beavertown Neck Oil (Manchester Academy)
Away: 1,217 (11,914). A couple of da yoof got off the train, cans in hand, exited the railway station and instantly broke into a round of ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home.’ Listen kids. If you’ve not been before, you need to see a bit more of the place before coming to a fair judgement. And if you have been before…well, why’ve you come back? Kn*bheads.
The Damage:
£11 train
= £11
No comments:
Post a Comment