Millwall 1-0 Barnsley, Saturday 23rd November 2013

‘I should’ve gone to Homebase’

Accidental sight-seeing, Sat morn

I blame Jim Armitage, for not walking into a lamppost.  I blame Ian Thomas for not getting so drunk.  I blame Loko for not turning up.  I blame Norris for not taking up Susan’s offer of a trip to a DIY superstore.  I blame the return of Tim to a game.  I blame TFL for sending me on a wild goose chase Sat morn (long story).  I blame David Flitcroft for clueless negative tactics against feeble opposition.  I blame the cock of Gibraltar for doing what no-one else on the park looked capable of and directing an unstoppable header into the corner of his own net, his second ‘winner’ this season.

Welcome to Millwall

Dearie, dearie, me.  Apparently we were only near the bottom cos we’d played all the top lot.  A month later and we’ve failed to beat Washday, Ipswich, Donny and Millwall, nary a decent side between them.  As ever, Flitcroft showed his ambitions by lining up with 5 in midfield and a weak willed lily livered ‘striker’ up front.  0-0 anyone?

An absolutely lacklustre game somehow gave us 3 extremely good chances, 2 to everyone’s favourite stroller.  In the 1^st half a smart passing move ended with Mellis clean through.  From the far end, I thought Mellis had little time and did well to get his shot off.  From watching it on telly this morning, it looked a bloody awful finish.  All the time in the world to pick his spot, he picked it – straight at the keeper.  ‘Class’ to me includes composure.  Don’t anyone tell me he’s ‘class’.  

Beautiful stadium.  Boring, but beautiful.

Early 2^nd half, Mellis did well to get to a back post header and only great defending/luck denied him as the ball hit a retreating defender.  As for the rest of Mellis’s game, I tried, twice, to watch him for 2 minutes, but honestly, all he does is walk around the pitch.  And God help us when a player takes him on – just cut inside him and he’s left for dead, apparently unable to turn around and run after said player.  Still, he jogged off very well once he was subbed (again).  Why does he get picked?  And why do I have to listen to Reds fans every week whining 'he's not a left midfielder' but apparently should be played in the middle.  Listen you pr*cks - if he played in the middle, the opposition would STEAMROLLER us.  But I didn't fancy having that conversation with the numpties in the toilets at half time.  Suffice to say, there's a reason he's not played in CENTRE midfield, despite being (allegedly) a creative player.

The 3^rd chance?  A Millwall bloke attempts to direct a backpass to the keeper and Wiseman nips in, stabbing it wide from 6 yards.  The ref, unable to understand how it could be put wide, did the decent thing and awarded a corner.  I remain unconvinced the keeper got anywhere near it.

***  Perkins.  Same as ever.
** Crainie.  Go on then, let’s allow meeting the Family Crainie to influence my vote.  Solid.
* Kennedy.  Did no wrong, but shows how average the rest are when he gets a vote.

Best view all day

Despatches:
Flitcroft needs to get a grip.  Right now, I don’t see any likelihood of change unless the manager gets the bullet – it’s how we stayed up last season. As ever, I fail to see why he’s tinkered with last season’s (usually) winning formula to create a moribund style of football where watching us relegate ourselves despite the number of poor sides in this division is like the death of a thousand cuts.  It reminds me of the last time we were relegated – we knew we had players good enough to keep us up, but we were as unsurprised as anyone to see us slowly melt to the bottom of the division.  We are NOT good enough to ‘carry’ two luxury players in Mellis and McCourt, let alone a 3^rd in Pedersen. 

Butland – unbelievable save at the back post.  Shoulda been absolutely livid that from the resultant corner, Wiseman did Millwall’s job for them. Instead, he’s the one player encouraging his team mates on, running to the centre circle to gee up the troops.  And he isn’t even our player.  The rest – heads down, dejected, we’ve lost this one lads, we’re going down.  Just what I’d paid my money to see.  

O’Brien and Dawson got dogs abuse off some Reds fan on the platform afterwards, yet I fail to see why 2 players who’re blatantly putting in some EFFORT should get grief, especially when one was only on the park 10 mins.  OK, they might not have hit the heights of last season, but then neither has Etuhu who can’t decide whether to be s*** or very s***.  And why did Flitcroft bother giving Cywka a new contract when all he does is sit him on the bench, despite his annoying habit of grabbing the odd goal?  Answers ranged from ‘cos he also does a mean bit of plastering’ and ‘he’s cheap’.  He’s Polish, you see.

The one player who looked like he wanted to score was of course Scotland, who, sadly, was so isolated when he came on that every time he got the ball he tried to take on 3 players to get a shot off.  You know the result.  McCourt showed us the other side of his game, the one where he can’t be ar5ed to track back when he's lost the ball, while Pedersen did one thing the entire game, sliding the ball to Mellis for THAT miss.  The defence looked solid – in other words, Millwall were so s*** they barely came near our goal.  It was an awful, awful game, only Gibraltar international Wiseman standing between this game and a re-run of BFC nil Donny nil last week.  Can the football get any WORSE this season?  (I think we know the answer to that one.)

The Family Crainie were very nice.  I don't know what's happened to the blokes, but there was mum, grandma, girlfriend, sister-in-law.  Granny was well informed too, asking why this Bobby Hassell bloke is so popular.  (Problies cos he doesn't get chance to play, therefore never makes any mistakes).  Everyone agreed that Crainie probably is our best defender and granny said how they thought he'd be playing at a much higher level.  Fair dues.

3 generations of Family Crainie (and randoms)

Drink du jour:  a decent few pints of Pilsner Urquell in the Mudlark.  Just for a minute I was transported back to my summer holidays, enjoying the break, looking forward to an exciting season, challenging at the other end of the table for a change.  Ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Onwards and downwards!

A

In widescreen

Barnsley 0-0 Donny, Saturday 9th November 2013

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Barnsley 1-1 Fowls, Saturday 26th October 2013

‘I didn’t shag her, he only sucked me off.’

Another season, another home disappointment v the Fowls.  It doesn’t matter how bad Washday are, the Oakwell experience never ends well for us.  At least this time we took the lead – a super finish from Pedersen, preying on the luck of a defence in disarray as his 1^st effort cannoned off the post (should’ve done better).

But I guess anyone of you who’re reading this would’ve been interested enough to tune in to the game on telly anyway.  So do I need to say we controlled it for 60 mins then threw it away?  Do I need to point out how complacent we were early second half, knowing how much better than Washday we were, knowing how we were already leading, knowing there was no particular need to grab a 2^nd, or a 3^rd?  If you’d substitute ‘Middlesbrough’ for ‘Sheffield Wednesday’ I’d swear it was last week.

Then it happened.  A corner is cleared by us and, with 11 men back and no-one on the halfway line, O’Grady and Pedersen chase the ball down, only for it to be hoofed back, with interest.  A slice, or a flick-on – who knows? – and the ball runs loose for Fryatt to smash the ball past Butland.  We have the best keeper in the division and still there is no way we will ever keep a clean sheet.  And I blame Flitcroft for this one: the same happened 1^st half, a corner cleared, BOTH O’G and the Norweigan ran it down (listen lads: ONE to run to the ball, the other to hang back) and Pedersen was sidestepped, the cross came in and somehow their guy missed an open goal on the back post.  QED, there is NO advantage to us having 11 men back in the box off a corner, cos the resultant ball back in ends up being more dangerous than the original deadball.  

And from equalising, there was only ever going to be one winner – Washday.  2, if not 3, unbelievable saves from Butland prevented this, one was even deflected and he clawed it away.  I’m with Butland – if you can’t make it to Brazil with England while playing behind this team, how else can you!?  And I'm not even mentioning the blatant penalty (M'Voto's handball).

MOTM was tough.  I had a row with the rest of the train re: the merits of Kennedy, who I thought played a blinder, making 3 fabulous tackles.  Meantime, it seems the world and his wife thinks Wiseman had a great game, and I never noticed him.  (I wouldn’t normally commend The Football League Paper for its marks, but they thought Kennedy was impressive.)  McCourt got official MOTM, Perkins got it off the telly….and Butland was the only one with a ‘perfect’ game, his main blemish being having little to do for an hour!  And so it is I go for…

*** McCourt.  Looked great going forward, beating players with ease (except when he didn’t).  One sublime dribble 1^st half and how Pedersen missed the subsequent tap in I’ll never know.  In fact, 3 times the ball fizzed along their 6 yard box and zero times were either of our 2 centre forwards on the end of it. Poor.  Plus, Paddy was sorely missed when he came off, replaced (sort of) by Jennings, on the wing (more of him later).  

** Kennedy.  Give credit where it’s due.  He’s nobody’s choice of left back, but he was excellent for 70+ minutes.

* Butland.  Didn’t quite have enough to do to make him MOTM, but as I said, everything he did was outstanding.  He even shouts at his defence like an international.  I bet he cried into his beer, Sat nite.

Despatches:
Where to start?  Can someone NOT Fox take a deadball, cos he doesn’t impress me, whatever he does in training.  And what DOES Mellis do?  (‘Gets substituted’ – Sarah, reading this over my shoulder).  Played out wide, ‘not his natural position’ they all say.  ‘Well, better there than in central midfield, where he can do (us) damage’ says I.  But I’ve not quite seen ire for one bloke’s half an hour cameo for a while until Jennings came on.  I’ve been trying to allay judgement, for fear I haven’t seen him enough, but God he looks s***.  So s*** he’s re-igniting dreams that it might not be too late for some of us to get a game for the Super Reds.  My favourite (everyone’s favourite?) Dale Jennings moment must have been when he dummied the bloke on the through ball then fell over turning.  Is it wrong to laugh at your own players?  ‘Ex-Bayern Munich’ they say.  ‘Ex-Tranmere Rovers’ says I.  As for the rest, Andy is indeed right: you’re all in danger of giving one player too many dues when 3 or 4 of them all look the same – ‘mousey brown hair and beards’ (Sarah’s words, she’d also noticed that from the comfort of our couch).  Anyway, may I say, I’m currently in possession of both.  OI FLITCROFT!  Gizza game!  Go on!  Gizza game!  I can do it!  I can, David, I can!

As for the trip, the early KO did the London branch no favours.  I was problies last to get up, at half past bl**dy six, in time to be on 3 (count ‘em!) late trains up north and then a Magical Mystery Tour on the way back, 4 and a half hours of avoiding engineering works and the sight of Robin Hood airport and Lincoln Cathedral.  WTF?  Still, not as bizarre as being joined by a black geezer who confuses me with his ‘impression of Bruno’ – sounded nothing like Sasha Baron Cohen’s gay Austrian fashion bloke, but no, it’s some ex-boxer of my childhood.  Topical!  Then he confirms what we’ve already suspected, ‘I have the same problem as (Frank) Bruno’ and an uncomfortable silence ensues.  Before he starts singing again…was it UB40?  I forget…But youse MUST ask Andy Jones to regale you with his tale of a trip to a Cologne brothel, cos that one still tickles me.

Drink du jour: Vodka and coke, with a couple of bottles of red.  But there was some serious wilting going on till the alcohol kicked in.  I’ve decided I’m not such a fan of 12:15 home games, despite Mrs Reed getting the drinks in at the Old Number 7!

Going down with the Wednesday…

A

ps, one final comment.  3130 away fans.  Are they the Blunts in disguise?  One thing I've always thought about the blue and white stripey ba5tards - they always bring a few and make some noise.  Not this time.

Barnsley 3-2 Boro, Saturday 19th October 2013

'What a f***ing creature'

We are officially the worst team to ever hold a three goal lead in a football match.  We were dreadful and Boro were worse.  Apart from a couple of minutes towards half time, it was dismal.  We couldn’t complete a pass and who knows what would’ve happened had Boro opened the score early on when our ‘offside trap’ once again went shockingly wrong.  Indeed, their bloke looked so amazed that he was given onside that he had time to turn around, look at the linesman, look at our defenders (nearest one: 10 yards away) turn around and blaze the ball over the bar.  To Butland’s credit, he hared out of goal, possibly putting the player off.

However, I think we’ve just used a season’s worth of luck in one game.  A player too unfit to complete half an hour is allowed to waltz past half the Boro team for #1, O’Brien has a long range effort deflected off O’Grady for #2 and our 3^rd comes when Pedersen, in slow motion, makes sure he gets hit for a pen (international class).  At least this allows a lacklustre Butterfield to be regaled wiith ‘Jacob, Jacob what’s the score?’, probably the first time this has been sung since Old Testament times.  Boro responded with ‘You’re getting sacked in the morning’.  You can’t expect to stay in a job if you’re getting tanked off Barnsley.  That goes for any team.

So, 3-0 at half time.  Unbelievable, Jeff.  People were laughing under the stands (well, they were in the East upper), the situation was beyond hilarious. Could we f*** it up?  Well, I’ll give it to the Super Reds, they tried.  Out they came, 2^nd half, a team full of Mellises (Mellisi?  What’s the plural of a Mellis?), simply strolling through proceedings, not being at all bothered about the time and space afforded them as Boro pushed half their team up front.  This was neatly summed up in a half ar5ed attempted chip from a clean through Pedersen, the ball scuffed gently along the floor to a retreating keeper.  Then the actual Mellis was taken off, so we only had 10 of them and Polish Tom had his usual thrusting cameo (why does he never start a game?).

But of course, when we fail to put a team to the sword, we’ll always give them an opportunity to hit back.  Boro missed a great opportunity with 12 mins left. I can’t remember the miss, I just remember thinking ‘that’s it.  Their chance has gone.  They’ll not get back into it now.’  I can’t believe I allowed my inate scepticism to waver for a moment.  It took 4 mins for it to return.  O’Brien was skinned for the 4^th time in 15 minutes at right back (2 questions: 1.  Why was nobody covering him after the 1^st time he was skinned? 2.  How did O’Brien end up at right back for the last 20 minutes, while Wiseman was still on the pitch?  Where had HE gone?)  Anyway…yes, O’Brien was skinned, the ball was pulled back, and Adomah hit a crisp finish which looped in off a defender and over a despairing Butland.  The hunt for a clean sheet goes on.  2 mins later and it really is squeaky bum time, as a hopeful ball into the box is missed by everyone and Adomah bags another.  I really don’t understand how the ball got to him, it never seemed to go above head height and one, if not two, of our players simply allowed it to pass them.

This woke the fans (and players) up though.  All of a sudden, there was a game on.  You could see the players putting in a shift, desperate not to give Boro anything.  Why does it need them to score for us to do this?  Including injury time, it was 10 mins of hanging on, though Boro only had one chance in that time, when the ref allowed a blatant push to go unpunished (to be fair, he’d given us everything else: see earlier comment re: luck) and that player’s knockdown was put wide from 6 yards.  Phew.

*** O’Grady.  Held the ball up, time and again he put himself between their player and the ball and used his strength well.  Notched two, though neither were goal of the season contenders – a penalty and a ball that hit him.  Sponsors MOTM.

** M’Voto.  Won everything in the air against million pound man Jukowicz (sp?).  And he had to win a lot, as Boro launched it almost as much as Washday do, 1^st half.

* Crainie.  Along with M’Voto, shut the door on the Boro attack.

Away: 2200.

Despatches:
Butland was again magnificent, yet proof magnificent is never enough in our goal was in conceding another 2.  I thought Kennedy was decent, till the last 15 when Boro hit on this amazing idea of giving their terrific wingers the ball – after that, they tore us to pieces on both flanks.  O’Brien did well, till he found himself at right back.  The rest were a bit crap, actually.

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?  I was ambling towards t’Well wondering this.  As it’s 20 odd years since I lived in the north-east, can I really carry on despising a team (Boro) whose fans I never see anymore?  Well, on encountering a few of the Smoggies (Smog Monsters) near the ground, I can quite categorically say ‘YES’.  Ever masters of supreme irony, their drunken strains of ‘Barnsley’s a sh*thole, I wanna go home’ sounds even worse when they’ve yet to even get in the stadium.  Listen lads, if you wanna leave, the train station’s BEHIND you.  And do you really intend to sing ‘MiddlesBORE, MiddlesBORE’. Too bl**dy true.  Still, we had the joys of a Boro fan in our midst on the train.  Number of mentions of not seeing ‘Kes’ in Barnsley: four.  Number of allusions to raping women: three

Drink du jour: JD and DC (Diet coke).  2 litres of JD between 5 (and Gerry) = very drunk.  So naturally me, Andy and Slacki went to Caminos once we got back, where I vaguely remember drinking something pink.  Maybe the other 2 can confirm?  I also cannot remember leaving Camino’s, or where I caught the bus from, but I do remember missing my stop.  Again.

So, here it is, we’ve now won 2 games – and coincidentally against teams with former ‘star’ players…Hamill and Butterfield.  Are there any other ex-players in this league?  It might be our best chance of winning a 3^rd game this season.

Come on you Reds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

QPR 2-0 Barnsley, Saturday 5th October 2013

 Rangers'  stadium - the 1st sighting

'You euthanasia ba5tard'

Another part of me died yesterday.  Having vowed not to attend if it's 30 quid or more...I found myself attending, paying 30 quid or more.  And not one to do things by halves, I drank in an O'Neills.  Twice.  So losing was probably only the 3rd most depressing experience of my day.

As it was, how could I NOT go?  Meeting up with the crew, including Salisbury and Phil who'd travelled up from Hampshire, it would've been rude of me to put my principles above their joy at my company.  So, a couple of £4.40 Stellas and a massaman curry  (£7.50 - bargain!) later, we left the Churchill Arms in Notting Hill Gate to grab a pint in Shepherd's Bush and 'savour the atmosphere'.  O'Neills it was, then.  Time for a pint and a leisurely walk to the stadium.  So Gerry orders a burger and chips at 2:20pm and (to cut a story short) we crawl to the ground late.  So I'm getting 80 mins for my 30 quid. (Mind, I half hoped we'd be losing by then so I could still turn around and spend my money in the pub).


Decent turnout too.  With the £25 'silver' tickets sold, that was 360 fans straight away.  Plus us odds and sods meant around 500+.  Not bad if, like Andy, you were celebrating your 14th attempt at winning at QPR (sum total: one draw).

Midfield mediocrity

2 things happened in the 1st half.  Butland made an unbelievable save from a close range effort ('He's England's number 1') and we had a penalty shout turned down.  Altho at the far end, it looked a penalty to me.  The ball was pinging around inside their box and we laid the ball back for a player to strike it, only it hit the hand of their player and diverted away.  Technically the denial of a goalscoring opportunity, our 1st and last as it was.

2nd half, the game continued as it had been.  QPR showed little in attacking flair, forcing Salisbury to denounce how poor they were, while our midfield could barely put a touch together, let alone support O'Grady and Scotland in attack.  But if you'd seen QPR's goals column this season, you'll see they've made a habit of nicking low scoring wins.  They simply bore the opposition into submission.  And in Charlie Austin they have a player who only needs one chance. We gave him two.

THIS is what a 30 quid ticket looks like!

1-0 came from a corner.  I actually missed it, as did our defence.  As the corner was given, I thought I'd calmly sit down and watch the proceedings at the far end.  I think our defence did the same.  Unfortunately, QPR took a quick one, a well worked effort that ended with Austin firing home from the edge of the box (I'm told).  Apparently Flitcroft had warned our players about Austin's attacking threat.  Genius.

Now, I can handle losing at QPR.  It's what we do.  But what made me angry was that QPR had never looked like scoring, had never threatened our goal (aside from that early effort) and we weren't under constant pressure.  QPR had bided their time and took their one opportunity. 


Later, as their player headed towards the corner flag, he fell over under little pressure and the ref couldn't wait to award a penalty.  Game over.


So there it was.  As routine and perfunctory a victory as ever there was, with QPR breaking their record for consecutive clean sheets (could they have had it any easier?)

*** Crainie.  Solid, solid as a rock.  Then gave a penalty away, somehow.

** Butland.  Didn't have alot to do, but what he did, he did.

* Kennedy.  Why not?  That's how average the rest of them were.

(Actually, my real top 3 would be...
*** drinking till late with Andy and Selwood in Shepherd's Bush.

** THAT massaman

* Andy mocking the queue outside Walkabout, which was closing down.  'Why are you queueing?  It's rubbish!'   '.......YOU'RE rubbish!'  I've never seen an Aussie lost for words.)

Misc:
Has our season started, at last?  Sir Bobby of Hassell makes his 1st appearance of the season.  Flitcroft has tried everyone else and has to turn to our own caped crusader when Ramage has to leave the field to general indifference.  Sadly, Superman wasn't able to rouse us to victory, yet.  But he did get the fans going.

Gerry brought me a few Chronicles and I read an early season interview with O'Brien.  Apparently we shouldn't worry that we've changed our pressing game, despite 'having 3 of the best pressers of a ball in Dawson, Perkins and Etuhu'.  Which I found odd.  I was quite enjoying a high tempo pressing game last season which usually ended in victory rather than defeat.  Instead, what I get is death by a 1000 cuts that is watching Mellis, McCourt, Fox, etc etc.  Just give me a bit of pace and effort!

Do I even need to say Mellis STROLLED through another match?  I feel I do - otherwise you'd be disappointed at my lack of predictability.  The quickest he moved all day was when he was subbed.  (How many times have I written THAT in a report!?).  And the 'Derry Pele'.  My God.  He's like an unfit O'Brien.  Didn't take a player on until injury time and was probably only still on the park cos we'd made our 3 subs.  Liked to hog the touchline, which would've been great had he been given the ball.  Instead it took another player out of our midfield and as I said, one of the others was Mellis.  Christ on a bike.  Cwyka looked good when he came on, mind.

Equally, thank god Flitcroft is attempting to do something about our appalling defensive record.  We now have an England goalkeeper, and a centre half and defensive midfield player from Premiership clubs.  Has it stopped the goals going in?  Not really.  Perhaps it's the new STYLE of football (style??) we're playing, as well as the characters attempting to play it, who're at fault.  F*** me, I'd rather go down fighting playing the likes of Hassell, Dagnall, Dawson, O'Brien, Perkins,O'Grady etc etc etc

Angry of Peckham.

Oh, and yes I did fall asleep on the bus home.  Even when it's a London game I can't manage the simplistics of life.  'New Cross' is the answer to your question this time.

A

Barnsley 1-5 Watford, Saturday 21st September 2013

‘Christ!’

After our narrow escape last season, the new season duly came around with lots of hope and expectation.  A hard core of last season’s squad stayed, to be joined by a few exciting new signings.  And so it was that we took to the field yesterday with barely a player I recognised in a daring new system called ‘4-4-2’.

                                                Useless

Rubbish                         Poo                        Pants                                  Garbage

Woeful                          Awful                    Dreadful                              Stroller

                         Battler                                  Awesome (wish I had some supply)

Subs: 

Under rated

Unrated

Carousel (goes round and round in circles)

What a catastrophe.  Crushed by a TEAM fitter and faster than our own, who pressured our players high up field and attacked at speed.  Y’know, like we used to do last season. (Although I have to say, we don’t possess anyone of the speed and skill of their 2 star players, Ikechi Anya and the bloke who looked like Ikechi Anya.)

Even before they took the lead against The Worst Offside Trap in the World, the writing was on the wall.  Our players simply couldn’t get near any of theirs.  Still, no excuse for standing still and sticking your paws in the air while Deeney waltzes through to score under zero pressure.  Then Scotland equalises, shoulder charging their guy off the ball before drilling it home from 20 yards off the post.  The optimist in me felt much better, we’d scored.  The realist in me said they looked like they could score at will, while we had to rely on a defensive mistake.

Not to worry, within 4 minutes they were ahead again.  Oh, how our defence laughed as a long pot shot headed out of play.  Except that their right winger hadn’t given up on it and ghosted in at the far post to finish it.  Actually, when I say ‘ghosted’, I mean ghosted past Kennedy who stood staring at the ball while the winger ran past him.  I think everyone else at Oakwell saw the bloke coming.  (Out of interest, how does Kennedy get a game ahead of Noble-Lazarus at the moment?)  Of course, the goal would never have happened had the ref blown for a blatant foul at the other end, when Scotland was cleaned out chasing down a ball, but still, we had 11 men behind it when they collected the ball.

No worries.  As long as we limp to half time only one down, we’re still in it.  2 minutes before half time, it’s all over.  The winger skins Wiseman with ease before pulling it back for a close range finish.  This is pathetic.

At half time, I debate with my dad’s friend Diane what the final score will be.  I go 6-1, she goes fives.  One of us will be right.

Finally, a decision from our manager.  2 subs are made (it could have been 9, to be honest) with the 3^rd no doubt waiting for Scotland, who hasn’t completed 90 minutes since….when?  Reuben is on for Kennedy and O’Brien, who everyone tells me is s***, replaces Dawson, who I say is s***.

And for 20 odd minutes we are the (slightly) better team, without ever looking like we’ll bag.  In fact, I was probably perfectly happy with this, keeping it at 1-3, cos I was dreading what Watford could rack up if they fancied it.  We miss an unbelieveable chance to make it 2-3 when a point blank header is saved by Almunia.  Thankfully, I can’t remember who it was for me to apportion blame.  Should never have missed tho.

Then my dad tells me ‘y’know, we’ve probably edged it so far this half’ and 2 seconds later it’s 1-4.  Their bloke seizes on a loose ball and while some bottle blond midget scurries after him, he hits it home from 25 yards, low into the corner.  Later, said bottle-blond’s last input is to miscontrol a ball just outside their box leaving Anya to sprint 80 yards unchallenged before beating Steele on his near post for 1-5.  Class.

*** Scotland.  Held the all up, got a few shots off, scored, had f*** all support from his teammates.  Had to last the full 90 cos the subs had been used and missed a sitter late on.  Sponsors MOTM.

** Reuben.  Came on at left back and had as many shots as the rest of the team put together in that second half and probably as many crosses.

* O’Brien.  Y’know, that s*** bloke.  In the 2 home games I’ve seen, he’s been one of the best players we have.  Which is problies why we’re 2nd off bottom!  Came on as a right winger, whipped a couple of decent balls in.

Despatches:

Andy was apoplectic about Perkins’ ‘performance’.  I made him least worst of 4 in midfield.  Dawson had another shocker.  Is he fit?  As did Etuhu, who I saw shrugged off the ball by someone half his size, second half.  Is he interested?  Mellis was Mellis.

The ‘Derry Pele’ came on for 20 minutes and dribbled round about 15 players in his cameo.  Shame he usually ended up where he started.  It reminded me of a training session, where the aim is to keep possession rather than actually score a goal.  Watford could have stood and watched and he’d still be dribbling around in circles.  Does he never get dizzy?

As for the defence, I’ve been amused to read Flitcroft’s assertion in the Chronicle’s pre-season supplement (remember, I came back late, so have just read it) that one things’s for sure, it will be better this season.  Wiseman, M’Voto, Ramage, McNulty, Golbourne, Kennedy, O’Brien, Crainie, Steele, Pollitt….seems everyone’s had a run out.  Except…who?  Who was that bloke we had last season, who was consistently ignored as we slid down the table then as needs must, came into the team in the New Year and helped kick start the Flitcroft Revolution?  ‘It’s like de ja vous all over again’, said Shaka Hislop upon being asked about Barnsley’s plight.  We have conceded more goals than anyone in the 4 divisions and have been hit for 5 three times already this season.  (Someone had to tell me that, I’ve been trying to ignore our results.)

O’Grady battled well up front, but really, there were 9 appalling players behind him and Scotland.  They had no chance.

Flitcroft is apparently no longer ‘in denial’.  Well, with the next 3 games Leicester, Reading and QPR, it looks like things will get worse before they get better.  One win, one draw, NINE defeats doesn’t sound good.  Salisbury can’t see Flitcroft lasting beyond the 2^ndinternational break.  Dave on the other hand thought he might be sacked today.  Has he been?

In case anyone was wondering, Watford brought 846 supporters and there were 9004 home fans.  Just saying.

Journey back was pleasant enough.  There were plenty of Watford fans on the train, but they didn’t gloat.  Drink du jour?  JD and coke, with lager for Dave.  ‘Cept as soon as he saw the JD, he refused to drink the lager and stole his share.  And returning to St. Pancras, we decided to show New Boy Tom (Salisbury’s ex-student) a good time with posh beers in that bar in St. P.  We’ll take him to the Flying Scotsman next time!

Come on you Reds!

A

ps, I’m not implying nuffink, but it came out that the 2 prettiest female students on Salisbury’s course both achieved first class degrees!

Bournemouth 1-0 Barnsley, Tuesday 17th September 2013

'I'd have made that substitution before the game started'

First sighting of Goldsands!

Hi all, apologies for the delay.  I work hard, etc.

Well, the fixture compiler did us southern types a great job with a midweek trip to the seaside. 17:05 from Waterloo and a quick beer in Pokesdown were our pre-match lot.  That and some bloke on the train spilling my cup of coffee, a la Walsall away that year.  Only this time I didn't go mental.

1st half - we edged it, hit the post twice in half a second (I thought Dawson shoulda been able to divert the rebound on target, however quickly it came to him).  O'Grady did well to even hit the post.  In the meantime, a couple of times their left winger rampaged down the left, leaving a trail of defenders behind.  Luckily, no end product (till he scored later!)

As bored as me?

2nd half - complete and utter one way traffic.  How they didn't score before they did was purely down to poor finishing, Steele barely had a save to make.  Remember when Odejayi used to sidefoot a ball wide when clean through?  A couple of efforts were reminiscent of the great man himself. 

I guess we did well to hang on till the 76th minute.  Defenders were hoofing it in panic, midfielders refused to put their foot on the ball and the forwards couldn't make it stick.  Subs coulda/shoulda been made earlier and in the end, we problies only got into their half cos they sat back defending what they had rather than continuing to come at us.  Either way, the result, if not the scoreline, was utterly fair.  The goal?  I don't remember much about it, save for 3 seconds earlier it was in their half.  How it ended up in our goal was a mystery to me, though I remember the inevitability of it all, as their forwards outnumbered our defenders and they had options upon options.

AFCB under lights

Anyway, at least we got to see La Famille Rogers in action, Ben mascot for the gazillionth time while Tim's sister responded to a call from the PA for a female Barnsley fan to take a few potshots in the half time competition.  Cue booing from the home end when he announced she was from Southampton!  Lucy meantime was back and forth taking little kids to the toilet, leaving Tim to do what he does best: earholing Reds' sub Mellis at half time and being where it matters when the keeper gave his gloves away (only this time I think some little kid got them - hard luck Tim!)

Where's the car park gone?

The Peckham Ratings:

*** No-one.  Sat low down, I had little clue what was going on or who was(n't) doing it.  Plus all these Reds players look the same to me:  Do Crainie, Dawson and Cywka all go to the same barbers? 

** No-one.  Sat low down, I had little clue what was going on or who was(n't) doing it.  Plus all these Reds players look the same to me:  Do Crainie, Dawson and Cywka all go to the same barbers? 

* Steele.  Didn't put a foot wrong, though mostly cos they kept missing the target.

Drink du jour:  lager lager lager for the lager boys and bitter for the....bitter old men.

1 win, 1 draw, 5 defeats.  We need to fix up.

A

ps, I heard Ramage had a good game.  I never noticed him, apart from the times he wasn't where their forward was.

Leaving the wild west